This is fucking sexist

[catflapuk]

So, I work in a fucking men's domain. I'm so angry.

We are a team of 3 people - one for Americas, me for Europe, one for APAC. Both my colleagues are male.

Another team is working on a global client project, including Americas, Europe and APAC (in this order) and requires our input. My team's names will be listed as the team of contributing experts.

The fucking lead of this team, who is also male, lists my male colleagues first and me last.

AIBU to be so fucking annoyed?

FWIW, I lost my shit in an executive commitee meeting one day over someone asking me to make them a cup, too, seeing as I was already standing at the machine

Good for you. I refuse to make the tea. I won’t ‘play mum’.

@ProsperTheBear

but don't expect those who both notice and understand how the constant drip drip undermines your position and authority, to say nothing and "just be nice".

some of us might not agree that there was any sexism there at all and that playing the "weak woman" card is a lot more damaging.

Others of us understand the cumulative effect of drip drip every day sexism.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Does anything not have a possible negative 'ist' angle these days? Get a grip

I for one am good and successful at what I am doing. So successful that my current company poached me from my previous employer and I am now making 30% more than before. So it cannot be that I am no good at my job, but this is not the point.

But surely, they'd have preferred a man since they're so sexist?!

@Cam2020

I for one am good and successful at what I am doing. So successful that my current company poached me from my previous employer and I am now making 30% more than before. So it cannot be that I am no good at my job, but this is not the point.

But surely, they'd have preferred a man since they're so sexist?!

Did I anywhere suggest that any of the team working on the project hired me into the company? No. I did not.

@DestinationFkd

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Good for you?

@LovePoppy It is good for me, because there's bigger things to worry about than where my name is on a bloody list.

[quote DestinationFkd]@LovePoppy It is good for me, because there's bigger things to worry about than where my name is on a bloody list.[/quote]
You clearly don't get it. It is many subtle things like that that make it more difficult for women to progress. Because it is part of a mindset and these things accumulate over time.

@Paulolina

Does anything not have a possible negative 'ist' angle these days? Get a grip

I know, it's almost like some of these 'isms' are incredibly pervasive...

[quote DestinationFkd]@LovePoppy It is good for me, because there's bigger things to worry about than where my name is on a bloody list.[/quote]
I hope for your sake your work is never undervalued because of where you are on a listing like that.

Strangely enough, it hasn't.

I grew up with brothers. If they are not nice, then kicking a fuss up over it could make things worse - eg they could gossip and take the piss when you are not present - call you ‘stressy’, ‘moody’ etc.

Some men will change their behaviour and be more careful next time. But others who resist, may undermine you because of it.

Wouldn’t bother me.. I’d think that they’d put the best one last, like we often do with lists etc...

This is not a serious problem.

So there's 3 of you in the team? I would understand if there were loads of you and you were the only female. Although I'd always use alphabetical to avoid anyone getting so angry they spontaneously combust.

This is not a serious problem

Of course it isn’t. But just in the same way that a small drip from a pipe isn’t a serious problem, left without thought and without action it becomes one.

That fact it isn’t a serious problem is part of the problem. It’s a mind set. It leaves a small mark, it indicates something that when accrued becomes the gender pay gap, becomes the lack of women at a senior level.

If you really feel that the default in this world isn’t male, and white male at that, you’re deluded

to the pp here who state this isn't a problem, I'd love to know how many of you are working in highly competitive male dominated corporate environments.

Me.

'So there's 3 of you in the team? I would understand if there were loads of you and you were the only female. Although I'd always use alphabetical to avoid anyone getting so angry they spontaneously combust.'

I have seen men get the serious arsehole over this sort of thing many times

to the pp here who state this isn't a problem, I'd love to know how many of you are working in highly competitive male dominated corporate environments

I work in this environment and I hear OP
Straw and camels back

I'm with OP 100% I've had blatant sexism my whole career due to being a senior female with mostly male staff in a male industry.

I run the business it's open office and have had delivery guys, the postman, trades all walk to me in the office to sign the parcels or call me love as I'm clearly the receptionist... many, Many times.

I've been in meetings where the middle aged men pass my older male staff member their business cards literally over my head and shake hands, when they didn't bother to find out who was leading the meeting. Very embarrassing for my lovely team, who couldn't believe he'd done it.

Every tiny thing like this needs challenging, I normally do it with humour, but the message is very clear.

justkeep that's just shocking what you have written. Unbelievable how sexist society still is.

@PollyPelargonium52 my guys who work with me find it shocking and highly amusing in equal measures.

Luckily we all get on so I think mostly forget that we are male/female just busy working.

But the delivery people assumptions were daily over the Christmas period just gone, and have happened for years 🙄

In my book it is only sexist if there is any disbenefit from being last on the list.

I create work mailing lists based on where people sit in terms of their desks as you go round thecroom.

I get you OP. I work in academia where everyone knows the order of names is directly linked to level of contribution so this stuff matters in terms of professional recognition, grant applications and performance statistics. I often have to correct the order and notice that junior colleagues put the few female researchers in the wrong place (detrimentally).