Can we have a 'I'm really pissed off that my h turned into a bastard and I had to divorce him and

[OhioOhioOhio]

Now in a single parent' thread?

It seems so unnecessary that he was so mean about everything and he could have just been kind and we could have been happy. Ffs.

Ach it's shite isn't it?

On the plus side he was a bastard all along and just managed to fool you for a while. This way you get the whole rest of your life back with no pretence.

Yes I'll join you. Why did they have to turn out to be such bastards and impact so many lives as a result?

@ShowPicturesOfLifeNotDeath so true, that thought gets me through the difficult moments.

I have a feeling my DH has turned into a closet bastard since lockdown/midlife crisis hit. We are struggling. At the moment he seems like a completely different person.

It just seems really unfair.

Mines was always a bastard. It just took me 5 years to notice.

Here with you. 💐
I sometimes think exactly this.

@Euclid I’m sorry for your loss but what a horrible comment.

Euclid

I'm sorry for your loss too. Do you think bastard husbands take you out for a drink and treat you like shit immediately?

I think my ex-husband wasn’t entirely a bastard, just very self-centred. I think my mother saw this very early on but bit her lip & was ready to catch me when the inevitable happened. I hope that my children have happy & long-lasting relationships, but whatever happens I’ll live by my mother’s example.

She hasn’t been outside much recently (she’s 77 & has mild asthma) but she may come & spend some time in my garden soon.

@Euclid I feel sorry for you women who can't imagine the interior lives of others. I hope it's grief talking rather than a complete lack of empathy.

I’m sorry for your loss Euclid.

My husband changed the minute I married him. Although obviously some signs must have been there before and I missed them. He ended up nearly killing me 6 months in.

I was damaged but I survived. I don’t class myself as unfortunate.

Sorry OP. I don’t qualify for your thread. I didn’t carry for long enough.

I missed that wee sentence about the single mum bit. Sorry

I'm doubly unfortunate .
TWO ex bastards . Three if you count the stalker .

@Euclid because sometimes people change, or having kids brings out their worst side completely. What a horrible passive aggressive comment.

Separated a week before our one year anniversary. Baby was born 8 months later and we divorced a month after that. Been a single parent now for almost 14 years. Learned my lesson. Babies 2 and 3 were made using donor sperm. No bullshit ex drama😉

I got rid of one of those. No sweat no more.

I didn't mean to be passive aggressive or rude. In the old days before I met my wonderful husband I always had a "sense" of the bad guys. I am truly sorry for anyone whose apparently genuine husband/partner changed which must be awful. Because of my very happy marriage and my husband died I resent women with minor complaints about their husbands.

I think that people should lay off @Euclid.

People make bad life choices about who they marry. Wailing afterwards doesn't change the fact they they CHOSE to marry these rotters.

Well done on divorcing the bastard & certainly have improved likelihood of future happiness. Its sad how many posters on MN seem resigned to shit life with a bastard, having been ground down & any kids are absorbing that as relationship template so greater chance of history repeating.

I discovered being single was less lonely & had been tiptoeing around his moods causing myself huge anxiety, wouldn't even say he met bastard status but his parental model was to sweep any issues under carpet.

@Euclid I am so pleased that you had such a wonderful marriage and I’m so so so sorry for you loss after this post. But being married or splitting from a complete bastard isn’t a minor complaint and it isn’t some sort of failure by the women who married them. Loads of people have been widowed without making other people feel like shit. Genuinely knowing that you had a wonderful marriage makes me feel happy. For some people it doesn’t work out like this. Men aren’t out and out abusers and bastards from day dot and women fall at their feet. Also many women have your sense that their husband is brilliant. Then they split up and he’s not. I really do not think this is the thread for you to shit all over people. You’ve lost your wonderful husband and that is very sad. He wasn’t wonderful because you’re better than the women here, but because he was better than the men mentioned here. And you don’t get a free pass for being horrible because something awful has happened to you.

Euclid nasty and unnecessary

I may have chosen to marry that particular rotter.

I’m not sure I chose to almost die at his hands.

Sorry for wailing. I can’t quite seem to speak about that in a singsong cheery voice.

Im not sure it was a minor complaint either.

As I said though, I am sorry for your loss Euclid.

I’m glad you were able to get one of the good ones.