Can we have a 'I'm really pissed off that my h turned into a bastard and I had to divorce him and

[OhioOhioOhio]

Now in a single parent' thread?

It seems so unnecessary that he was so mean about everything and he could have just been kind and we could have been happy. Ffs.

Sorry! picsinred brilliant

Yes, if he had been a decent bloke we could have been happy.

^^
I often have moments of feeling this way too!

Exh was a shit from when first dc was born - and showed signs before hand but I didn’t know how to spot them.

Funnily enough as a pp has said, it ramped up when he got a better job and started earning much more than me. Thought he was therefore the boss, and pretty much said so. During the time I was earning a bit more than him between the two children (plus being main carer for dc1 obviously!) he was a bit better, but still moody and selfish.

I’m really glad I left him. He screwed me over on the divorce settlement by refusing to the leave house and behaving like such a shit I accepted less than I should have had to get out of there.

Now he plays divide and conquer with the kids, and only ever seems to be able to be on good terms with one or other of them!

picinred

Perfect.

picsinred yup.

Sometimes 'Martin's' wife keeps her job or returns to work once the children are older. She is lucky because her job fits around school hours...Martin has to leave early and get home late or his career ambitions will be affected.

When a child has chickenpox Martin finds a space in his diary in a couple of days time where it is convenient for him to work from home for one afternoon so that she can go into work to catch up. This is because he is more than fair and takes his turn. Martin gets annoyed if his wife abuses this genoristy by not coming back home at exactly 5.30 because he has to get to badminton club on time at 8pm and someone needs to do the dinner..

Martin is a good guy really. People must appreciate how hard he works to provide for his unreasonable wife. Where does she think the money comes from for all of the coffee mornings she treats herself to? It's not his fault he's so tired that he has no energy to speak to anyone when they come round. He's not really rude, ignorant and embarrassing. He's tired.

5LeafPenguin yep. And ‘Martin’ routinely goes for a couple after work with his team and misses bedtime because he needs to team- build and she’s not his keeper.

Martin’ also loves the fact that ‘Sophie’, the new junior in accounts, is enthralled by his stories of having been a backup club DJ 15 years back and wanting to keep his hand in.

Martin deserves to have a social life too to balance all of the coffee mornings and time wasting that goes on while he is at work. He joins several clubs that start at 8pm and there is plenty of time as long as dinner is ready when he gets back at 7pm.

Martin helps the 3 children to sort out their own bedtimes and homework by shouting at them to get on with it as he leaves. Sadly, Martin's wife is a lazy cow who doesn't manage to tidy the house and get the uniforms ready for the morning before he comes home. He helps her to try harder by ignoring her and banging things around.

Yes. It's really difficult for Martin. No wonder he can't stop smoking with all of the mess that his wife makes. One time, just after she'd had a baby, he even had to wake her up in the middle of the night to tell her that she had left some blood on the toilet seat. What a lazy bitch. It's no wonder he needs time to relax. Poor Martin.

Poor Martin. What cow his wife is.

It was probably ok to wake her up though because he was feeling annoyed.

Well she was disgusting. He was helping her by waking her up. She doesn't appreciate any of the help he gives her. When he offers to cook and uses up all of the dishes she doesn't even put them away properly. He's even had to teach his lazy and incompetent wife how to wash the dishes. Poor Martin.

In fact, it was her fault... and he knows he needn't apologize for anything he does if he has angry feelings that someone else makes him have.

I expect she asked him to use fewer dishes but because she is v lazy it's ok to ignore that.

And Martin, who was a committed feminist when he was out DJing in his youth and when he was wooing his sexy fiancé, finds as he gets older that he thinks there’s a reason why generations stuck to a more traditional division of labour.

After all when he’s had a hard day at the spreadsheet coalface and a couple to wind down as he looks down the front of Sophie’s dress, it’s nice to come home to a home cooked meal.

She didn't ask him to use less dishes. The kids were asleep and she didn't want to be screamed at. She did ALL of the dishes. She just didn't do them properly. It was so kind of Martin to teach his lazy wife how to do the dishes.

Martin was having a teaching moment. Martin has a lot of teaching moments. Martin has used the phrase I know you are crying in his teaching moments. He followed it with a but, then carried on teaching.

If he wasn't so busy with the spreadsheets and staring down Sophie's dress he would have been a top teacher.

Sometimes he shares a bit of this natural gift with less fortunate actual teachers at parents evenings.

Martin is so kind to offer teaching moments to those less fortunate than himself. Martin was disgusted with his lazy wife when she didn't want to learn new DIY skills, after she'd been feeding their baby all night. It was so thoughtless of her. All Martin was trying to do was teach her how to fix one of the many things that she had broken. Poor, poor Martin.

And Martin, who was a committed feminist when he was out DJing in his youth and when he was wooing his sexy fiancé, finds as he gets older that he thinks there’s a reason why generations stuck to a more traditional division of labour.

Oh my God - this, this, this!!!

'Martin' thought nothing of waking up his shattered wife after their new baby was born - and the baby too even though it had taken his lazy wife 2 hours to settle her due to not latching properly. Which was also his wife's fault. He needed to carry on the argument from earlier where he'd try to explain why yet another coked up weekend away with work was 'esssntial' but she was just being far too emotional to see sense. Now he couldn't sleep so why should she sleep? Or the baby? Or the older DC?

It reminds me of a joke that I read in a wonderful Olivia Goldsmith book - which I've paraphrased.

Two female psychiatrists are friends with each other and meet regularly for coffee.

One says to the other "I'm really concerned about a lapse I made this morning, and what it might mean for my mental health." The other says "Let's talk about it - it's really important that we support each other".

So the first psychiatrist replies and says "Well I was having breakfast with my husband this morning. And I meant to say to him 'please pass me the toast'. But instead what I actually said was 'You ruined my life you fucking bastard'."

Seems like so many men are pathological bastards. But surely just as many women are as well or at least nasty in their own way.

Martin is deservedly treated with respect and deference at work.

His meetings are organised by his P.A. who understands how busy he is and also arranges and wraps birthday presents for his wife and children (and reminds him that it's their birthday at all).

He travels a lot for work (first class of course as is his due) and dines clients in the very best restaurants.

When he comes home he's bemused and angry in equal measures about the lack of understanding that he needs to RELAX.

His wife (at his insistence) doesn't work. What the fuck does she do all day apart from spend HIS money?

After 2 weeks away in New York she should be rolling out the red carpet with a 3 course Michelin star dinner (he bought her Hestons cook book after all) and running his bath not the children's.

In fact why are the children not in bed already? Why is his wife not properly dressed for his return and wearing something sexy?

She only has to do one menial job of looking
after 3 kids under 8 and the house is a bloody tip!

They have a cleaner FFS!!! Why are the kids toys on the floor in the drawing room? Why doesn't she teach them to play in their bedrooms?

It's so bloody hard being Martin....

@PicsInRed

That's so sad. I fucking hate that Martin.

I hate all those Martins.

If Martin woke me up to tell me that I'd left blood on the toilet seat, after I'd just had a baby, it would not only be my blood in the bathroom. There would be some teeth too.

Seems like so many men are pathological bastards. But surely just as many women are as well or at least nasty in their own way

@tappering 😂

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

That was me. It was one of the less cruel things that he did.