Queue argument....... who was right and who was wrong.......

[ACautionaryTale]

Socially distanced queue at the supermarket. I was number 3 in the queue, there were about 12 in total. its not a big one but not an express style either. Most people only get a basket of shopping nor a full weekly shop.

Relatively older lady joins the queue at the back. So number 13. did not look infirm or otherwise struggling. I'd say late sixties/early 70s.

Woman who was number 1 in the queue indicates to new joiner to join the queue at the front.

Several people object. Number 1 lady starts saying its only polite to the older generation,.

I politely point out that it was not her decision to make on behalf of everyone else in the queue. She did not get to decide for everyone else whether the lady could jump the queue.

I got told I had no social respect (and called a fat cunt for the privilege) and that older people should go first.

Older lady at the back looked embarrassed and pointed out she did not want to jump the queue.

Lady in position 1 left the store offing and blinding.

I really could not get wound up about this.
Someone was trying to do something nice.

They shouldn’t have been rude to you but seriously, who makes a scene about this?

I’ve been in a queue near front and seen an older lady joining at back and I have offered her my space then I have gone to back of the queue. I can see why people would be miffed if I had let her jump the queue, but as we were swapping places then it was fair....so in answer to your question, no it’s not alright for the lady go let the older person jump the queue.

I wouldn't have made a fuss, but I would find it annoying someone saying "would you like to go in front of me" without seeming to notice that they are also letting them go in front of everyone else who has been queuing patiently.

I would have been perfectly happy for this to happen. It is surely good manners.

You knew why it was offered, the older lady refused it should have ended there. I would have offered the older lady to go in front as well, its clear she either couldn't get delivery or another to shop for her so we should respect that she has come out and prepared to do her own and we should look after one anther instead of always being out for ourselves all the time. I might have asked if others minded first - in such as way that they would have appeared an arse objecting mind.

I’d have let it go personally but it was rude of the person at the front who as you say doesn’t have the right to make the decision that woman should be allowed in front of everyone.

I would have offered the older lady to go first too. Nobody in real life minds stuff like this

My mum is the age of your older lady and she would have been annoyed to be thought of being that old that people let her jump the queue

If the person at the front of the queue really wanted the older person to go first, she should have offered her own spot and gone to the back of the queue. Job done.

@Meredithgrey1

I wouldn't have made a fuss, but I would find it annoying someone saying "would you like to go in front of me" without seeming to notice that they are also letting them go in front of everyone else who has been queuing patiently.

This

I wouldn't have cared. You knew she was doing it because the lady was older. Monkey's method is a good one. I've never seen anyone do that.

It's not for the women at the front to impose her queuing etiquette on everyone else & what happened next is a consequence of that.

Thing is you will never get to thr front if you keep offering everyone to go first . There are a lot of people in their 70's .. 😂

I thought there was a set time for older people to have priority? So they don't need priority at other times.

Not that my mum will go then, she says it's ridiculous to "crowd" a load of vulnerable people in together. She has a point.

I am shaking my head at the idea there were 12 people in the queue though, I'd have taken one look and come back later.

God, people are scrooges. I'd have had no problem with the lady in front offering an older, more vulnerable person a place in the queue in front. Arguably, it doesn't really h help her to be less likely to catch the virus, but still, we're supposed to be trying to help people who are more vulnerable - that's the whole point of lockdown.

Obviously, this sort of thing only works because it's not the norm. If a bus load of elderly people arrived all wanting to jump the queue, that's different.

If they were swapping places I wouldn’t have an issue.

Adding another person I would say something and object. It’s not just the elderly that are frail, cannot get delivery slots etc. We all know at the moment the wait can be long.

Imagine if everyone let someone in ahead of them?

You can let someone in front of you, you can’t unilaterally decide to let them in front of 12 other people as well.

If I had been offered the place at the front, I’d politely declined and gone to the back.

If I had been the person at the front of the queue, I’d have offered (if it looked like the person really needed to not have to wait in a queue).

If I had been one of the 11 others in the queue, I wouldn’t have cared if one other person was going in before me having been offered the space. If they were trying to jump the queue, that would have annoyed me (depending on how they tried to jump the queue).

I honestly don’t think I could get wound up about this.

*I’d have politely

She should’ve just swapped places with her and gone to the back if she was the bayberry but not upto her to decide for the others

It's a tricky one tbh. I assume the lady who was offered front of queue didn't actually take it.

I do think the person at front was trying to do a nice thing, but everyone who griped has a point as where would number 1 person have stopped if another 2, 3, 5, 10 older looking people had turned up?

Monkey's method is a good one so if the woman had been that bothered she could have given up her space in the queue, but she clearly wanted to be seen to do the right thing with no loss of place to herself.

She should have swapped places if it meant that much to her. One of those 12 other people might have needed to jump the queue more.
Like you said, she cant decide for all of you to allow someone to jump ahead of everyone. Shes clearly not that nice if she called you a fat cunt.

Slightly aghast that I’m not that far off the age of being offered a place in a queue

If the person at the front was that bothered the right thing to do was to swap, not let the older lady queue jump. As it is she’s created bad feeling and probably made the older lady feel terrible.

That woman at the front sounds like a nuisance.

People in a queue really complained that someone told an older woman to jump the queue? Did anyone say they really couldn't wait an extra couple of minutes?