Queue argument....... who was right and who was wrong.......

[ACautionaryTale]

Socially distanced queue at the supermarket. I was number 3 in the queue, there were about 12 in total. its not a big one but not an express style either. Most people only get a basket of shopping nor a full weekly shop.

Relatively older lady joins the queue at the back. So number 13. did not look infirm or otherwise struggling. I'd say late sixties/early 70s.

Woman who was number 1 in the queue indicates to new joiner to join the queue at the front.

Several people object. Number 1 lady starts saying its only polite to the older generation,.

I politely point out that it was not her decision to make on behalf of everyone else in the queue. She did not get to decide for everyone else whether the lady could jump the queue.

I got told I had no social respect (and called a fat cunt for the privilege) and that older people should go first.

Older lady at the back looked embarrassed and pointed out she did not want to jump the queue.

Lady in position 1 left the store offing and blinding.

Well, obviously you were being completely unreasonable in expressing your opinion, if you're overweight. We fatties have to know our place.

I’ve had 4 dc, not once was I offered a seat or to cut in.
Some cheeky fucker when my youngest was newborn, screaming the store down, jumped in. I wasn’t proud of myself that day for what came out of my mouth. Pain, lack of sleep, hormones and mh really aren’t a good thing. I was mortified and couldn’t even walk past the place for months.

@TeddyIsaHe

Honestly with what’s happening right now are people actually getting annoyed about queuing?! Fucking hell.

Yes. There are many reasons why people don’t want to be stuck in a queue for ages. You don’t know what’s going on in the life at the person next to you. You might have all The time in the day to to stand there but many others don’t.

It’s absolutely fine to allow somebody to go in front of you in a queue. However the person offering should then take the persons place at the back of the queue.

I wouldn't have let her skip. There are designated times for the elderly to shop. Where I live I am not allowed enter at these times. However when I do get my shopping all I see is elderly people being let in first by security guards. My elderly next door neighbour refuses to shop at the allocated time and walks straight through the doors of the supermarket. This is unfair to people who are waiting in line.

MintyMabel

I travel on the tram regularly and if an older person or a pregnant woman gets on and there are no seats, I offer mine saying “do you need a seat?”

I’m not virtue signalling as I couldn’t care less what people think. I do so because I would hope someone does the same for my mum, who would need the seat.

I too always move from my seat for older people or people I think need it more (I don't ask them, I just move), but this isn't a comparable situation.

The woman at the front of the queue wasn't just giving up her own place, she was giving up everyong elses in the queue. She had no idea if the others had any difficulties that might make standing harder for them and she didn't even bother asking.

Next in the queue at a supermarket ,a while ago, with one person behind me. I had a few more items than him but not a big difference. I was gobsmacked when the teenage till assistant asked me if I'd let the man behind me go first as he had fewer items. WTF?

I wouldn't have grumbled about this very petty op

The world is a kinder place if we all feel we are giving a bit more than we should have to. So I wouldn't have made a fuss.

I would have been mortified to have been called out as needing help just because I was a bit older. But I wouldn't have objected if someone did offer to allow someone in front either.

'Older lady' must have been so embarrassed!

Especially that, at that age and not obviously struggling, she probably hasn't even begun to see herself as old.

She sounds like the sort of person you'd consider offering your seat to on the bus but wonder if you'd offend her by doing so (so maybe just catch her eye and smile, or gesture subtly).

Front person could have offered to swap places but sounds like an attention seeker.

I suspect the correct etiquette would have been for back person to gesture the newcomer in front of them (thus quietly establishing whether she wanted to be let in), then others down the line to follow suit, one at a time, if there seemed to be a need.

I wouldn’t object to someone letting an older person in to the front of the queue. No excuse for being so rude to you, but I would have thought it a petty and unnecessary thing for you to get wound up about if I had been there.

I went to Morrison’s a few weeks back and got in a very long queue. A steward came over and said as I had a basket only and not a trolly I should join the basket line. So I walked all the way up the line and walked straight in as there was no one in the basket queue. Was cringing to death

Yabu. We treat the older generation is this country appallingly compared to other countries.

You didn’t deserve to be called a fat cunt because of this though. Although you were tweetering on cunty behaviour there in my opinion.

It doesn’t sound like this lady was that old so YANBU but personally I would have let it go.

I am in that "older lady " age group, and would be utterly mortified at being offered to go to the front of the queue. The person at the front who offered her the place had no idea the circumstances of the other queuers, whether they had conditions that made them vulnerable or if they were just feeling poorly.

Woman was trying to be kind to an older lady. Can't see what's wrong with that.

Wow - people getting het up and aggressive about one person going in front of them in a queue!! Not even with a big shop so it would have impacted you for a couple of minutes. Seriously you need to get a grip. It is being uptight and petty to object to this.

The woman at the front is a cow, well done to you for speaking up. I hate queue jumping.

I wouldn’t exactly have minded, but the way the woman spoke to you was awful. Also, the older lady must have been really embarrassed. My Mum would have hated that!

I also agree with this:

If the person at the front of the queue really wanted the older person to go first, she should have offered her own spot and gone to the back of the queue. Job done.

@cecinestpasunepipe That's so true. I mentioned earlier in the thread that my DM is very healthy at 80 and would hate to queue jump. By contrast, at 50, I'm suffering from long-term COVID-19 symptoms (tested negative finally after 3 months) and I really struggle in queues at the moment. Although I would hate for people to know that.

You have no way of knowing what battles other people in the queue are going through.

It wasn't someone trying to jump in themselves was it?

The person at the front was trying to do a nice thing and it would've added an extra 6, 7 mins most to your queue.

Did you really need to make a fuss?

I think you acted appallingly

This exact thing happened to me! Waiting at no 1 in the queue and an older lady (about 70s ) asked me was I waiting to go in?! (Well Yes as I am standing in a line of people!) Someone called out that I should let her go first! Didnt want to upset any one behind me really either! We will spend all day waiting if we let everyone a bit older go before us!

So when someone driving in front of you lets a car pull out, hence putting you two cars rather than one behind do you react as indignantly?

Do you hunk and show them finger signs?

We will spend all day waiting if we let everyone a bit older go before us!

A bit older?
That's not happening at all, is it?