I will never be an aunt.

[Rubyred24]

I have two DD both planed. DB and DD both mid 30s and both married. Neither want children. To be honest all four baby understand why I would want them. They are quiet strict with mine and don't have a lot of patience but they all love them and have them stop over at theirs.

Growing up I didn't see my cousins so I know they aren't missing out however I am slightly envious when I see families meeting up or holidaying together. I only really socialise with family and I just feel a bit sad. There are multiple sets of sisters at my kids school who all share the school run and I'd assume it would bring them closer.

My sister cant have kids I'm so sad my daughter wont have cousins on my side and I wont be a proper aunt. It's a real feeling of lose x

I meant I have a DB and DS.

And "don't" instead of baby 🙈

In my experience being an aunt is only fun when you have a sister who you are close to. It’s not the same with a brother’s kids - I mean you love them to pieces, but it’s your sil’s family (and siblings) who generally have priority for the fun bits.

@Gre8scott ah that's different isn't it. I did wonder if I would be a surrogate for my sister in law once. Years ago she said she didn't want to run her body.

@GrumpyHoonMain yes I can imagine. My Sister in law isn't Englidh and has no family here though.

I'm an only child, I've always hated it, now i'm older there's a whole new dimension - I'll never be an aunt either. Makes me a bit sad. I always loved big family dos with my aunts, uncles and cousins around. My children will never get to experience that.

I have dozens of nieces and nephews, I rarely see any of them and we definitely don’t share school runs etc. Please don’t feel like you’re missing out x

I didn't have many aunts or uncles either with I hated growing up (still do).

What about on your other half’s family? You see families holidaying together etc but there’s always the in-laws side. I’m very close to my niece on DH’s side. Technically she’s a step niece if that is a thing. And I know several people who have this relationship with friends who are like family. There are other ways x

@OwlBeThere I live 10 and 20 minute drive away from them so although they are close they would be in a different catchment.

Neither will I. Both my sisters are childfree by choice, and my brother and his wife had multiple miscarriages and have decided not to try again. I’m sad for DB and SIL, obviously, but otherwise I can’t say I’ve given not being an aunt, or DS not having cousins, a second thought.

I can’t imagine wanting a sibling to have children so we could share the school run and goon holiday together. Maybe you should make friends outside your family?

@MiddleClassProblem

He has 3 brothers. 1 has 5 kids we don't see any of them. 3 different mums. 2 in care. One is gay not interested in adoption etc.

I have a nephew (DB's) but no children. Feel sad he has no cousins on our side. He has loads on SIL's side but they are overseas.

Yes I get it OP. I only have one sibling, who has severe learning disabilities so will never be a parent.

My husband has a niece and nephew but they're adults so my kids will never have that cousin relationships as their cousins are really more like an aunt and uncle. In the same way I don't really feel like their aunt, as I only knew them as adults, and it's only by marriage.

I would love to have blood nieces / nephews as I'd love to have children other than my own to love and for my kids to have cousins their own age.

But plenty of other people are in this situation, if they are only children, or for many other reasons.

So it's a bit of a shame but not life-definingly sad, I think.

I have 2 aunts and 4 cousins. Saw them at weddings and funerals. Wouldn’t recognise them now if they walked past me in the street.
Close extended families are great but I know very few that are like that. My DH has a vast family, mostly estranged from each other.

I am very unlikely to be an aunt either and my inly child will have no cousins. Even if my DB produced s baby they aren’t local so wouldn’t see them.

My DH and I are both only children so we'll never have nieces or nephews. That was a major factor in us having 2 DCs as we didn't want DC1 to be left alone in the world when DH and I are gone.

@GrumpyHoonMain that's not true. I'm closer to one of my brothers' children than any of my sisters'. It helps my SIL is lovely.

@GrumpyHoonMain that isn't my experience, I'm much closer to DNs than SILs siblings, and there have been no fallings out on that side, we just spend a lot more time with them.

Also DH is an only child but it's very much uncle to my brother's children.

I've of my closest work pals is 'auntie' , I actually assumed they were her sister's children, she doesn't have a sister, it's her best friend and her children.

There are other ways to have extended family OP

Our son has 8 cousins, all but two in the same town. We see one, who has no siblings, around once/twice a week. The other 5 are siblings who we see two maybe three times a year.

My own sibling lives in NZ, has one of each. Cousins my side have never met, but DSvhas been playing an online game with his male cousin once a week during lockdown - they have great fun together! They'd be very close if we lived in the same town (or even country!).

I myself have 11 cousins, three are FB "friends", the others I see around every 10 years, didn't grow up near them at all.

DS has plenty of friends and we'll help each other out with school runs if necessary, have them round for tea and vice versa. We'd never go on holiday with any of them - or DS' cousins - too weird, personalities too different, want different types of holiday; lots of reasons.

My parents both come from huge families and as a result I grew up with lots of cousins (60+) it was absolutely fantastic. Lots of sleepovers at different aunts or uncles houses. Ready made friends that stayed with you through to adulthood. It didn’t occur to me until I had my own children that they wouldn’t have that and it makes me so sad. I would love to have nieces and nephews stay over all the time.

I'll never be a grandma 💁🏻‍♀️ it is what it is.

Nope, DH and I will never be an uncle and aunt either and it does make me a bit sad that my DC don't have any cousins. They've commented on their friends who have cousins and do things as an extended family. They don't enjoy Christmas or other family gatherings much as it's all middle-aged and older people.

I'm an only and DH's siblings all chose not to have children. I was really surprised, tbh, as he's from a larger family and I just assumed at least one of them would. Oh well, not much we can do about it!

I have 4 siblings and am lucky to have quite a few nieces and nephews. We all live at least an hour apart though, and have never shared school runs or proper holidays (although we have stayed at each others and had day trips out etc, which is lovely).

I love them all, and am very close to my sisters for girls stuff. We have lots of whatsapp discussions etc. I suppose I would be a bit sad if none of my siblings had children and - as mine are the youngest - would miss out asking their advice and getting hand me down clothes! It's definitely an added bonus. But as PPs have said - I have more support in practical terms from local friends, such as calling someone last minute to take DS swimming with their son because DD isn't well, or something.

Love your siblings, and enjoy your friends and their children. It's all good!

DH is one of 5, one unfortunately died, all the remaining 4 have DC, I am one of 4, one has 1DC, one has 9month old twins, the last has 7 DC, 6 surviving.

My DC spend more time with second cousins than their first cousins. But we also have close friends, whose children are treated as if they were cousins.