to not tell DH about inheritance

[ClosedAuraOpenMind]

so I know I probably ABU here...

found out today I'm due a small inheritance from DGF, which was surprising. £11k so nice but not life changing

I could probably use the cash to pay off some credit card debt, which is at a stupidly high interest rate, then we (me, DH and DD) could probably have a nice holiday, most likely next year I guess

but things with DH haven't been great through lockdown...

we're both key workers, but while I've been wfh and trying to coax a v reluctant DD to do some homeschooling, and countless other household tasks, he's been going out to work as normal, and I've had no support from him. in fact he often makes my like worse, arguing and antagonising DD about schoolwork, then going out to work leaving me trying to do my crazy busy full time job with a hysterical child

I've told myself I won't make any rash decisions during lockdown, and will see what happens at the end of it - although who knows when that would be

so, given I have no savings of my own, if I were to leave the £11k would come in handy, and could really help me and DD...

so WIBU to open a bank account, put the money in it, and not tell him?

Do not bank it OP. Can the executors keep hold of it for a while?

Debts will come out of the marital pot, assets will go in.

Now is a good time to really think about where you see yourself in 12,24,36 months.

I don't think it's joint money at all, not at least in my country. I don't know law in UK, so I may be totally wrong.
But if you are happy, you wouldn't think about hiding it from your dh. When worst thing happened, having a bit of extra money would definitely help. So if I were you, I would trust my instinct, and keep that money to yourself.

If he’s been a shit and you think the marriage is potentially on the skids then I’d keep it separate and keep quiet for now. You never know, this could end up being a serious helping hand from your DGF from beyond the grave.

I've made a decision not to make a decision on my marriage just now, we've been together 28 yrs, married for 24, and with a joint mortgage and DD leaving wouldn't be easy

but I've just had so many times recently where I've thought that I can't go on

all finance are currently into joint account - my salary goes in there and DH puts in money from his business account as he's self employed....

part of me would love to tell him we can clear a bit of debt, and maybe have a nice holiday to look forward to, but I just don't know if we'll get there....

and I don't have a cheque yet, just got a letter from the lawyers today

Would you be happy for your husband to lie to you and hide £11k?

Can you pay into your a relative's account and ask them to hold it? You don't want it on record anywhere if you're going to split.

I'd get some legal advice on whether you can ringfence it or whether it would be considered part of the marital assets pot before you decide anything. Knowledge is never bad - you don't have to use it.

By business account do you mean that he pays himself a dividend and that goes into the joint but equally they'll be a business account with profit sitting there in just his name?

I would start a new account and hold onto the £11k

Do you have access to the business account? Because that's what you need to find out whilst your considering your options.

Can you transfer your debt to 0% interest?
Is the debt joint?
I think I'd pay off some debt and keep some back as a "just in case" fund

So the inheritance money is considered as marital asset in UK? I never even thought about this until now. Something new to learn every day.

If you pay it into an account in your name only, then it wouldn’t automatically be classed as marital assets if you did split up. Please don’t pay it into the joint account unless you are sure you can do without it.

Definitely keep it separate because (1) if you do split you will be far more secure for you and your DC if you have it; you may need to spend it to rehire ourselves for example; (2) inheritances received shortly before divorce do not always automatically go into the joint pot but ONLY if they have been kept separate.

If you split up fairly soon after you receive the inheritance, I think a court would not count it for divorce purposes, bu I Am Not A Lawyer.

Regardless of that, I would be inclined to put it into a "running away fund". My mum had one, just knowing she had it meant she could bear living with my dad until the right time to leave. (Nothing nasty involved, they were just incompatible.)

If your husband found out that you hid the money from him it probably would end your relationship. It's deeply deceitful.

rehire = rehome. stupid autocorrect

Just had a thought - if divorcing then both parties have to supply copies of bank statements for the last 12 months.

Of you do happen to separate, I would strongly recommend putting this money in your DDs name. That way, he can't touch it or claim half of it.

Are children's accounts really included as assets? Surely it's the children's own money?

@CourtneyLurve that is terrible advice. The op could get into very serious trouble for that.

OP I would do what a previous poster said and get proper legal advice about this. Hiding assets in a divorce is taken very seriously so please don't try and go down that route.

If your DH inherited that kind of money at the moment and he kept it from you would you be ok with it? Does he know you're thinking of leaving?

If you have debt then it would probably be beneficial to clear it as soon as possible. If you do split you don't want debt hanging over your head.

If you put it in DD's name surely you won't be able to access it any more than your DH would?

This is fine if you are prepared to give it to her for (say) her education, a house deposit when she needs one etc, but if you need it to escape it won't work.

I'd clear some debt with it myself - perhaps put a couple of grand aside for yourself, and a couple for your DD.

@randomchap

If your husband found out that you hid the money from him it probably would end your relationship. It's deeply deceitful.

Yes, but I can't help wondering whether the OP's husband tells her everything about the finances of his business.

Because if he's theoretically entitled to half her inheritance, she is equally entitled to half the business.

If you’ve only found out today it may be a while before any funds are distributed so don’t make any rash decisions.
What was your relationship like before lockdown?

I would have thought that any inheritance gained during the course of your marriage is legally joint so be careful. If he finds out, you'll be in the shit, not just with him but with the law.

Yes, that's your money!

But when men get in heritances, it's 'family' money. Antother example of MN hypocrisy.

@Hollyhobbi children’s assets are not counted as assets - I don’t think anyone said that. But they must be DECLARED. Declared and then set aside - precisely to stop anyone temporarily siphoning off assets.