To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

[TheShining]

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

Make sure your children don't have their giblets tucked inside in a plastic bag, you need the giblets separate to make a proper gravy.

I only mentioned the "cheap" part because I know they usually contain more water, and wondered if this would male a difference

If they're cheap then they've been cruelly mass produced without a care or thought for their short lived wellbeing. I wouldn't exult at finding cheap chicken. If I couldn't afford to buy free ranged chicken I would buy a tin of lentils. Nobody suffers.

Love the typo in the title.

I can’t decide which is my favourite autocorrect here ‘cheap frozen children’ ‘frozen beasts’ or ‘autocunt’ now I am actually lolling!

Cheap frozen children - sounds delicious!

Would eating your own children count as vegan? I mean breast milk is 'vegan'. And many herbivores eat their placenta, and in the case of rabbits and similar can devour their young. If it's good enough for rabbits then children must count as a vegetable.

@elfycat

Would eating your own children count as vegan? I mean breast milk is 'vegan'. And many herbivores eat their placenta, and in the case of rabbits and similar can devour their young. If it's good enough for rabbits then children must count as a vegetable.

Oh don't get me started on rude vegan jokes- NO ONE takes the piss out of vegans as much as I do, trust me! I've been kicked from a few vegan groups because I'm a childish, irritating fuck. 😂

@notactuallylolling

I can’t decide which is my favourite autocorrect here ‘cheap frozen children’ ‘frozen beasts’ or ‘autocunt’ now I am actually lolling!

I wish i could claim Autocunt as a typo- alas not. It's my name for Bastard Autocorrect.

Fuck me- this thread made the Reddit list. Good job I'm unoffendable! 😂

Under 5s should be fine. Any older gets a bit tough

ooh lovely do they taste like pork

seriously i think the chicken will be fine i always defrost mine out

Hahaha so you want cheap children beasts I’m not sure my local Tesco’s sells those types of things would any pls cheap children do I might have one sitting in a corner somewhere collecting dust that you can have

Excellent thread😁

So anyone have any good frozen children recipes? 😂

I've heard they're far tastier than snozzcumbers.

Omg, dying laughing and your Op is on about beasts! Absolutely brilliant!

Sorry but I came here to laugh. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣That's it!!

Can't stop, heard it all. Why can I buy cheap frozen children please? A delicacy I need to try..bucket list mode.

Where*

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

Talk about underrating one's own work. 😂

Frozen children and frozen beasts!!

I so needed the laughter that gave me. My thanks, OP!

And your username too? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP! This was no accident - you really are after some cooked children, aren't you??

"Frozen children", "frozen beasts", "autocunt", "Male a difference"......this hasn't been asked nicely before but OP are you on glue?

Afraid to read further.🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am dreading the inevitable post Brexit chlorinated children

They passed an Agricultural Bill during lockdown that will lower our food standards. In another twist the "Country of Origin" we have on produce will be removed, so we'll have no idea if we're buying decent chicken/beef or chlorinated/hormone injected protein. It's very, very, scary.

I bought a kilo of fresh children chicken breast fillets reduced in Waitrose last week, reduced to £1.50.
I poached them rather than cooking in the oven, super fast, and I had lots of really good chicken stock too.