To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

[TheShining]

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

No matter how beastly they are, it's really not ok to freeze children, OP...

With cheap frozen children it’ll be alright

Expensive and privately educated children go mouldy much quicker though, .. saying that, they have better nutritional value

Just for future reference

But yeah it’ll be fine

I'm not sure, but I'm more impressed you've managed to wire up the electrics to power a freezer, slow cooker and internet connection from a gingerbread house.

This is how someone manages to breed DC who mistake the fridge for the oven! You have to be me first! 😂😂😂😂😂

PS, good idea to try not to give the children food poisoning before you cook them. I'm sure that would sully the flavour of the dish.

To answer seriously, I would never take any chances when it comes to chicken. Especially if it was cheap it's just not worth the risk.
(I would give it to the gangs of feral cats that live around here though)

Love “frozen beasts”. Makes me think of huge slabs of mammoth steaks or some such.

It’s best to cook them frozen because then they won’t put up quite such a fuss...

The kicker? I have TTS on my phone which reads everything out to me! And the horrid robotic voice clearly says "children"! 😂😂😂

Ffs! 😂

Brilliant!

I always was dubious about those Iceland party platters but this is too much!

Most stuff in the slow cooker seems to come out ok if you pre-fry onion and garlic, as well as adding BBQ sauce, so that should work on your cheap children, but for food safety reasons it's better to defrost them first.

How long does it take to cook the children and the frozen beasts?? Just asking for a friend

I find that defrosting them first makes them easier to get in the stock pot. You can’t get the lid on otherwise, see.

OP thanks for making me laugh.

Where does one buy cheap frozen children? The one I have now is quite expensive, I wonder if you can trade them in?

Once (this will sound like I'm making it up- I can provide proof if someone would be willing to help me blot out details) I was chatting with a client, and we somehow got onto the subject of micro pigs.

I banged on about them sometimes growing to ginormous sizes, and how it's impossible to know...

Except my bastard Autocunt changed "micropig" to "micropenis"

🙉

Children, beasts and autocunt.

Anyone who thinks this thread is, in anyway, accidental has been in lockdown too long.

I find Lidl’s frozen children are just as tasty as M&S’s and much cheaper. The only slight issue is that when you defrost them, they speak German.

@Ooopsijustsnarted

Where does one buy cheap frozen children? The one I have now is quite expensive, I wonder if you can trade them in?

I'll swap you for one teen who mixes his white goods up if you like?

His answer? He saved me a job, as they were going in the oven anyway. 🙄

@NCbutnotaweirdsextroll

Children, beasts and autocunt.

Anyone who thinks this thread is, in anyway, accidental has been in lockdown too long.

Autocunt was deliberate. 😂

Some children can go back to school tomorrow- if they are driving you mad it might be a more preferable option to slow cooking them!

On the other hand you could get a lot of meals out of a child - think of the batch cooking

Thank you op for.giving me the biggest laugh I've had for weeks

The still frozen bits would have kept the rest cool all night, so temperature of the meat wont have been that different to defrosting in the fridge. Ovens are good insulators after all, so will keep the cold in as well as they would the heat.

Just make sure non of the children had filling as they might come out during cooking and spoil your food.

Enjoy your meal mr lecter