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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

255 replies

TheShining · 31/05/2020 15:14

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

OP posts:
purplebunny2012 · 01/06/2020 19:37

@OscarWildesCat

Do the beasts belong to the frozen children OP?
No, the beasts ARE the children!
thebillmoon · 01/06/2020 19:40

'How to cook children'; there is a book. Hopefully this photo will appear. It's by: Martin Howard & Colin Stimpson

To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?
thebillmoon · 01/06/2020 19:42

It's that damn predicted text again!

Rabblemum · 01/06/2020 20:40

I laughed my face off so thanks. I’m dyslexic so I’ve made some hilarious errors myself.

Birdie14 · 01/06/2020 20:53

I can't stop laughing 😂, thank you!

lightsoul · 01/06/2020 21:11

Loved this but wondered about the male being watery? Could this be because of the slugs and snails?

XingMing · 01/06/2020 21:12

There's a very useful cookbook, suggesting 365 ways to cook 'em... A (Child) Bird in the Hand... recipes from across the globe, for every mood. It works well on chicken too.

Ghostlyglow · 01/06/2020 21:24

Only just seen this thread so too late to the party to join in but reading through it has cheered me right up. GrinGrin

tinkywinkyshandbag · 01/06/2020 21:47

Absolutely fab thread title. DH just had to pause Harry's Garage because I was chortling so much.

Barney60 · 01/06/2020 22:00

few children round here you can have rather than buy more for the pot!

Celestine70 · 01/06/2020 22:30

Frozen children and beasts ?!

Campervanlife4me · 01/06/2020 23:27

Why do I always read these late at night!!! Tears streaming down my face because I'm doing that silent shoulder shaking internal howling with laughter as my husband is asleep beside me!! Best abs work out ever! Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 02/06/2020 00:30

You should never, ever, cook children. HTH.

Child tartare?ConfusedShock Ew.

SageRosemary · 02/06/2020 00:54

I like children but I couldn't eat a full one (smile)

PuddyMuddles4 · 02/06/2020 03:22

I have tears running down my face. Thanks OP - needed the laugh Grin Grin

Topseyt · 02/06/2020 03:32

Funniest thread title ever!! 🤣🤣🤣

AdoreTheBeach · 02/06/2020 10:03

Sorry. This just popped up for me in my email and I peed my pants over frozen children and beasts.

Susan1961 · 02/06/2020 10:12

Friesian slip.

Emmy2020 · 02/06/2020 10:18

Love this 😂😂 cheap frozen children and frozen beasts 😂😂

gallileo · 02/06/2020 11:38

I would only get a mini beast in my slow cooker. Love this thread thanks op

Plancina · 02/06/2020 11:39

Ahaha 😂 this has cheered me right up

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/06/2020 13:46

You should serve them with Pished Weary Nuns.

Standupthisisnotateaparty · 02/06/2020 13:50

I find Waitrose frozen children the best but they can be a bit stuck up.

Mythica · 02/06/2020 14:02

Are you the baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells?

iklboo · 02/06/2020 17:24

I don't fancy our local takeaway much.

To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?