To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

[TheShining]

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

Are the cheap frozen children being beasts?

Give them the sniff test and bin them.

It all depends OP. Which cut of the child did you have in mind? Leg cooks so much better in slow cooker than shoulder.

Personally, I'd defrost them first. I saw some on special offer in Sainsburys the other day...buy one get one free... but quite honestly I can only eat one at a time. How long do you think the other would last in the freezer?

In my experience, children are best cooked in a mix of haribo and coke with a side order of doritoes.

Hope you enjoy your dinner

a thread to remember

@CatkinToadflax Yes it’s all very Roald Dahlesque isn’t it

Just curry them!

@One2Three4Five6

I'm tempted to sell mine on Ebay today. DS2 is dancing around in his pants songing "Donald where's your trousers?" The teen decided to teach him a rude version he'd made up about Donald Trump. Save me!

You don't sell them on eBay, they are homemade, that goes on Etsy!

Mine was made in a lab (IVF) - I can presumably sell him on eBay then?

I'd go old school and oven them, like the witch in Hansel and Gretel or you could just grind their bones to make your bread.

@NCbutnotaweirdsextroll

Children, beasts and autocunt.

Anyone who thinks this thread is, in anyway, accidental has been in lockdown too long.

Completely agree .

😂😂😂😂😂 I'm laughing that hard im actually crying!
OMG I needed that laugh! Thanks OP

This has made my afternoon.

I prefer mind grass fed and barbecued, tbh.

Best thread title ever!!! 😂😂😂😂

Best thread ever... full on howled at this

I've just given my teenager the sniff test, @maddiemookins16mum - he's going out with the bins tonight!

Make sure you remove finger and toenails before cooking - the bits ruined the last shepherds pie I made!

I think the real question is how many meals can you get from a deep frozen child OP?

Mine was made in a lab (IVF)

OMG! Frankenfood!

Also, is your day job proof reading for the Grauniad?

Anyone else visualising the OP as the witch in Hansel and Gretal (sorry OP 😂)

I love how you call them beasts in your OP too 😂

Thanks for this thread - cheered me right up!

Were they from Lidl

I couldn't eat a full one

There is a glut of home schooled frozen children on the market as the moment. Good opportunity to stockpile, if you have freezer space, ahead of the Second Wave

That's illegal, innit?

How about cheap frozen teenagers?

🤣🤣🤣