To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

[TheShining]

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

@MikeUniformMike

I think the kids you eat are baby goats, OP.

Baby goats would give me less trouble. They eat everything put in front of them, and don't get teenage mood swings!

You shouldn't really buy cheap children OP because they're raised in cages. Free-range children lead a more natural life, with ipads.

I needed this

Raising children in cages...

Oh I'm going to hell.

@TheShining

Raising children in cages...

Oh I'm going to hell.

Think of the time saved cleaning, just change the litter tray

Pizza pre ordered for sinner BTW.

OMFG thanks for the best thread EVER OP. I so badly needed the laugh today.

Out of curiosity are your children still thawing in the oven or have you started cooking them?

Well I know they're getting on our tits in lockdown but even so...

Do you live in a gingerbread house?

Sorry I’m no help.

That's cheered me up

Just whenever you cook chicken cut it through on the thickest part to check its thoroughly cooked.

I truly fucking hate my phone! 😂

I only ever eat EXPENSIVE frozen children, bought from Waitrose.

I knew this would happen. All those bastards stockpiling children at the start of lockdown now getting to the bottom of the freezer...

"Install tts" they said...

"It'll solve all your problems" they said...

They're in cahoots with Autocunt aren't they?

@YoureAllABunchOfBastards

I knew this would happen. All those bastards stockpiling children at the start of lockdown now getting to the bottom of the freezer...

Well yeah- I have a shelf full of loo roll too. 😂

I always make sure my children are fully defrosted before I put them in the slow cooker as a friend ended up with food poisoning from slow cooking frozen people pork

I love children but couldn't eat a whole one!

This made my day, OP!

On a budget front, it's cheaper to catch children than buy at the moment, as many have been released into the wild with the closure of schools. Just look around the local back gardens.

(On a serious note, I would cook the chicken. It's better to defrost thoroughly before cooking anyway).

I'm tempted to sell mine on Ebay today. DS2 is dancing around in his pants songing "Donald where's your trousers?" The teen decided to teach him a rude version he'd made up about Donald Trump. Save me!

You don't sell them on eBay, they are homemade, that goes on Etsy!

@TheShining

Pizza pre ordered for sinner BTW.

I like your style OP, give the good guys the cheap stuff and save the best for yourself.

You need to aim for the perfect murder. Can't leave anything. Not even hair or nails.

Pizza pre ordered for sinner BTW.
Why did you order it just for the sinner like it's punishment? I think you ought to order pizza for the whole family TBH, not everybody likes the taste of cheap children but everybody likes pizza.

What’s the country of origin OP?
I’ve heard that Swedes are good for Sweet and sour, maybe and some cod if they are Welsh for a fish stew.
(Just look out for the BFG )