To ask about cooking cheap frozen children in a slow cooker?

[TheShining]

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

DS accidentally put a pack of frozen beasts into the oven overnight, instead of the freezer.

They were still half frozen when I discovered them.

Will they be ok in the slow cooker? Or will I give them food poisoning?

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for making me laugh. I haven't had a lot to laugh at recently since becoming ill with COVID-19 3 months ago and I'm still not better now.

To answer your question, I would never take any chances with chicken, especially if cheap, as others have said.

Ha ha. Love it OP

Where does one buy cheap frozen children? The one I have now is quite expensive

Have you tried the Tesco Value frozen children? Just as good as the organic ones AND you get Clubcard points.

@ForeverBubblegum

The still frozen bits would have kept the rest cool all night, so temperature of the meat wont have been that different to defrosting in the fridge. Ovens are good insulators after all, so will keep the cold in as well as they would the heat.

Just make sure non of the children had filling as they might come out during cooking and spoil your food.

Enjoy your meal mr lecter

Ha! Another twist...I'm vegan, so won't be eating it anyway! 😂

I was too busy laughing at your title, didn't notice your ds thought the freezer was the oven, how old is he?

And now micro penis instead off pig! You need to turn off auto correct.

Hopefully someone will be able to help with your question, I think were too childish!

I’m a bit confused as to why you wouldn’t think it’s ok (typos aside). You have defrosted frozen chicken, which you have to do in order to cook it. You say they are still half frozen, so they haven’t got warm which could be a risk.
Cook them thoroughly (as you normally would) and it’ll be fine.

Do M&S do specially selected children?

I wouldn’t risk it with the cheap children, only ever M&S or Waitrose.

Can you make up a massive batch of curry? I find child curry very tasty, and because its curried nobody knows what’s in it, well, until they notice their missing children that is. Nobody has suspected me yet though.

My guess is that cheap children need a bit longer to cook they would have a bit more fat that expensive privately educated children.

On a completely different subject, I’ve bought expensive free range chicken from farm shop once - it was pure muscles, absolutely unchewable, give me a nice and cheap Tesco value one every time.

most. Boring. Thread. Ever

Are you sure about that?

How big are your freezer and slow cooker?

@cardibach

I’m a bit confused as to why you wouldn’t think it’s ok (typos aside). You have defrosted frozen chicken, which you have to do in order to cook it. You say they are still half frozen, so they haven’t got warm which could be a risk. Cook them thoroughly (as you normally would) and it’ll be fine.

I guess it's because of all the stories about eating chicken which isn't cooked/stored correctly? I've become a little panicky of late about making people ill. Silly I know.

CHILD CURRY!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I wouldn't risk it OP.

It's ok op, I'm about ready to slowcook my children too.

I called out in the garden earlier out of frustration 'anyone want two children?'

The neighbour called back 'no thanks' 😂

@greenlynx

My guess is that cheap children need a bit longer to cook they would have a bit more fat that expensive privately educated children.

On a completely different subject, I’ve bought expensive free range chicken from farm shop once - it was pure muscles, absolutely unchewable, give me a nice and cheap Tesco value one every time.

Wow! I was always under the impression that farm shop/butter chicken would be of much higher quality!

*butcher

Should be ashamed of yourself OP. People are so desperate to drive down the price on everything that they don't care how they're farmed.
Cheap= En masse battery farmed children, never get to run around during their short lives, are fed solely on McDonald's happy meals.
Pay a little extra= Free range children, organically conceived, taken for walks every day and allowed to graze on fresh polenta all day long.

Please people, this is a real problem in our modern world. I am dreading the inevitable post Brexit chlorinated children

Very Jonathan Swift
Best thread title prize - 🏆

Utterly cheered up my day!

@MrsRogerLima

It's ok op, I'm about ready to slowcook my children too.

I called out in the garden earlier out of frustration 'anyone want two children?'

The neighbour called back 'no thanks' 😂

I'm tempted to sell mine on Ebay today. DS2 is dancing around in his pants songing "Donald where's your trousers?" The teen decided to teach him a rude version he'd made up about Donald Trump. Save me!

@VirginWestCoast

Should be ashamed of yourself OP. People are so desperate to drive down the price on everything that they don't care how they're farmed. Cheap= En masse battery farmed children, never get to run around during their short lives, are fed solely on McDonald's happy meals. Pay a little extra= Free range children, organically conceived, taken for walks every day and allowed to graze on fresh polenta all day long.

Please people, this is a real problem in our modern world. I am dreading the inevitable post Brexit chlorinated children

😂

I get cheap frozen children delivered to my little house in the forest and usually defrost them overnight before popping them in the cauldron. I’m usually a bit wary with kids than for e.g. with beef.

Could you pop the frozen children in some water at room temp perhaps to defrost a bit quicker? Find they go really well rolled in breadcrumbs and put under the grill.

I think the kids you eat are baby goats, OP.

Well I find a bbq spit roast easier to fit the children in/on over slow cooker. Bonus is that smoky flavor