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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people who don't do very much have almost got their lives back

190 replies

Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 09:17

Certainly not judging those people, nothing wrong with a quiet life if that's what you enjoy.
Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life and like to spend their leisure time attending gigs, going to the pub, travelling etc. have no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2020 09:19

That does sound a bit judgy TBF!

Hingeandbracket · 31/05/2020 09:19

YANBU - on the whole I try to avoid cramming into places with large numbers of other people at the best of times so I don't really feel I am missing out, you're right.

Hingeandbracket · 31/05/2020 09:20

Doesn't seem judgy to me - I have zero FOMO about gigs etc but it must be awful for people who prefer to fill up their leisure time with such stuff.

IndecentFeminist · 31/05/2020 09:20

Not sure what your point is. 🤔

We like to be busy, but our busy is projects at home, going to the beach, going for walks, working, seeing family and friends etc.

So we can still do the majority of that, yes. Not sure why that is 'not doing much' just because I'm not a fan of going to the pub?

JustanAunt · 31/05/2020 09:23

As someone who ‘doesn’t do very much’, I can say that I have had it easier than most, however not being able to see my family is painful and lonely, so my life has been altered, I also don’t know when I’ll see them even as restrictions are lifted as I’m terrified of accidentally infecting my elderly parents

Cornishmumofone · 31/05/2020 09:23

I don't tend to go to pubs/gigs etc, but being stuck at home with a young child definitely doesn't feel like I've almost got my life back. (And my family all live 250 miles away or more so no hope of seeing them in the immediate future)

Drivingdownthe101 · 31/05/2020 09:23

I do find it a bit odd when people say things like ‘everyone has gone back to normal’.
My kids can’t go to school, we can’t go to our office, I can’t go inside my friends and families houses and they can’t come inside mine, my kids can’t go to their gymnastics/dance/swimming classes, I can’t go to the gym, to my Pilates class, out for dinner, to the theatre, the gigs I’ve got tickets for are cancelled, our flights to Spain to see our IL’s have been cancelled... it’s a million miles away from ‘normal’ for us. I guess if you don’t do any of those things anyway then it could be considered ‘normal’.

ConnellWaldronsChain · 31/05/2020 09:23

I'm not sure why you've equated 'keeping work life separate home life' to being someone who prefers gigs/pubs/clubs etc to outdoor leisure?

InstantMango · 31/05/2020 09:24

I think you mean people who socialise with others?
I do plenty of things but it just doesnt involve socialising in the way you describe.

I have a fair bit of land and animals so my life has carried on pretty much as normal and Im very active.

Earnsomething · 31/05/2020 09:24

My life is not back to normal but I'm not miserable with what I'm missing.

We had to do a virtual toast to a friend whose funeral we couldn't attend on Thurs, some that was quite major.

I spent a long time on the phone with a friend I'd have rather been with last night, but he lives a long drive away, we'd usually go to a pub and frankly, it would be really hard to be together and not have a hug!

Other than that, life's OK and I quite like not feeling pressure to have lots of interesting tales of what I've been up to at the weekend to tell.

I have worked throughout though.

Drivingdownthe101 · 31/05/2020 09:25

And actually a big one being that my children can’t go and play at the playground at the end of our road with their friends, which we/they used to spend hours doing in this weather.
Adults can play golf or do water sports but the parks and play equipment are still taped up...

BoogleMcGroogle · 31/05/2020 09:26

I enjoy doing all the things you mention. But there's still plenty to do at the moment, especially with this lovely weather. I'm teaching myself to garden and grow vegetables. We are taking the kayak out later. There are lots of exhibitions, festivals and restaurants I quite miss- thank God for virtual Hay and Spotify. I miss the British Museum like mad. We are missing our holiday to Namibia this year but it'll still be there next year.

Life's what you make it and there's still plenty to enjoy.

Drivingdownthe101 · 31/05/2020 09:27

I'm teaching myself to garden and grow vegetables. We are taking the kayak out later

Well yeah, that sounds lovely, if you have a garden and a kayak!

Wecandothis99 · 31/05/2020 09:28

Doesn't seem judgemental at all. Just an opinion. I am very sociable but also very grateful of the break. I just wish zoom would fuck off to he honest. I'm fine waiting to see people, but everyone is obsessed with it. Waaaaaa

Biancadelrioisback · 31/05/2020 09:29

I don't "do much" but my life certainly isn't back to normal. I usually go out to work 5 days a week, now I'm working from home, as is DH and we have our 3 yr old to entertain too. I miss my mum. I miss my grandads. I miss my friends. I miss leaving the house and being productive at work. Yeah great that we can meet with other people now, but it's not the same and certainly isn't normal.

Dollywilde · 31/05/2020 09:29

I sort of know what you mean OP. I’m 7 months pregnant and I was so looking forward to this spring as an opportunity to do a lot of the stuff I love for the last time (for a little while at least!) - had loads of meals out, gigs, trips to the theatre, weekends away with friends all planned. All have been cancelled and now I suspect all that is behind me for a bit. It’s pretty miserable, if I didn’t enjoy that stuff and was naturally more of a homebody then I think I’d find it a bit easier. Mostly the issue now is getting money back from the stuff I had planned, theatres and concerts are telling me I can attend the rescheduled runs in autumn, which won’t be the easiest bearing in mind I’ll have a newborn...

SuperMedium · 31/05/2020 09:29

Perhaps you need to build a new tunnel Confused

Are you trying to twist "some people are better at making the best of what they can do" around to convince yourself that you're hard done by because you're a more interesting person than those who are finding ways to keep themselves occupied?

No light at the end of the tunnel for super fun you because you can't go to gigs, but it's alright for boring fuckers who can entertain themselves? Poor you! FFS.

DDIJ · 31/05/2020 09:29

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

recycledbottle · 31/05/2020 09:29

I think saying not doing much could be interpreted as I bit Judgy but I agree with you OP. I have friends who love concerts/travelling/weekends away/restaurants/pubs/cinema/gym and dont like wfh as they like the chats in work. They are really really struggling atm. I have other friends who like walks/wfh/some interaction and they dont see what the big deal is. When I suggested that maybe its because their life was nearly the same unlike other friends they were offended saying that it is because they are less selfish. I agree with you OP its definitely harder on some.

Ohnoherewego62 · 31/05/2020 09:30

I'm not overly sociable these days so no my life hasnt changed much.

It's made me think I do need to reevaluate about how much time i have on my hands when not working and with little one and maybe put this to good use.

I am jealous of these lovely house and garden transformations that keep popping up. Quite inspiring!

Toilenstripes · 31/05/2020 09:31

Yeah, I think it must be difficult for those who can’t sit still and enjoy their own company. If you have to constantly be out and about, going to gigs, pubs and traveling, then yes, it will be another few months before you start to get your old life back. Hope that doesn’t come across as judgmental....

Original poster
Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 09:32

I just meant if you either don't work or you like working from home and don't do the leisure stuff I mentioned.
I've been forced to work from home (at least until September) and I can't go out and I'm fed up, and probably a bit jealous of the people who seem relatively contentSmile

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 31/05/2020 09:32

There won't be a light at the end of the tunnel for many people who would like to do those things but who won't have money spare to do all those kinds of things once it is possible as they have lost their source of income.

Drivingdownthe101 · 31/05/2020 09:32

Hope that doesn’t come across as judgmental...

Why would it? Sounds like you might quite like it too though!

hopingtobedally · 31/05/2020 09:32

Yep sounds very judgy!
And you haven't gotten your 'life back yet' for a good reason- to enable you to have a life in the first place