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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people who don't do very much have almost got their lives back

190 replies

Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 09:17

Certainly not judging those people, nothing wrong with a quiet life if that's what you enjoy.
Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life and like to spend their leisure time attending gigs, going to the pub, travelling etc. have no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 10:28

@WhatwouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo do you mean subway train or subway sandwich? If it's the latter, they are open hereGrinGrin

OP posts:
MarieQueenofScots · 31/05/2020 10:29

Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life

No, those of us who work from home don’t like to do that at all....

lazylinguist · 31/05/2020 10:30

Only if you think that socialising and going to pubs and restaurants are the only things that count as 'doing stuff'. We have our lives back, because we are able to go out on long walks, swim in lakes, canoe etc. We don't socialise much at all, but that's not the same as doing much.

chrisski33 · 31/05/2020 10:33

The op has started with a bit of a twatish post tbh. Not really sure what the point of it is? We are all affected by this lockdown whether you like a 'quiet life' or a pub/gig lifestyle. Like both and just because i go to the pub or a gig doesnt make me a better person or worse off during this lockdown than someone who likes a quiet life. Personnally feel the op is envy of those who have a quiet life.

NeutrinoWrangler · 31/05/2020 10:34

I'm happy to be a person who would honestly rather be home than anywhere else, on average. It's certainly made the pandemic more manageable than it would've been as someone who's always itching to be out amongst other people...

But no, life still isn't back to normal, mostly because I'm concerned certain family members might still become ill, but also because there are things that we need/want to do that are tricky (or impossible) with social distancing.

Leflic · 31/05/2020 10:36

know some people who have virtually got their lives back as their leisure is primarily immediate family based. Mine isn't, I'm a member of a choir, I do yoga classes, I play a sport and watch another in person. I have a group of uni friends who live in different cities, we meet every few months and tend to do activities like cooking courses. I won't feel life is back to normal until I can do those things which will likely be a while.

I know lots of people like this.
The musician has formed a band with herself ( playing all the instruments, dressed up ), learnt a new song and posted it online. She also likes sport but has been out walking and cycling everyday to all sorts of places.
Lots of people are using the to learn new skills - lots of pallet furniture being made and going up their houses.
Busy people are all keeping busy.

On the other hand,I’ve spent 8 weeks sunbathing.

Original poster
Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 10:37

@fortyfifty yeah that stuff is expensive and one of the choices I made was not to have a car so I could afford the stuff I like. That's not going well now, either 🤣🤣 (hardly any public transport, no online shopping slots etc...)

OP posts:
Eckhart · 31/05/2020 10:41

I don't go out much, but I'm always busy at home. 'People who don't do much' aren't the same as 'people who don't spend half their time out in public'.

But I do feel like it's easier for those of us who were ok with being alone before COVID came along. I've focused better on my interests, studied better, and probably drunk less alcohol!

Original poster
Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 10:42

@MarieQueenofScots how though? The bloody computer they sent me home with glowers at me from the table at all times keeping work in my thoughts even when I don't want it.

OP posts:
DontStandSoCloseToMe · 31/05/2020 10:42

I get your point, DF is retired he likes walking, cycling, fishing, gardening now he can see people in the garden allbeit at distance his life is pretty much back to normal. My parents went away in January and probably would've gone for a long weekend around now before the schools break up so they've missed that, but then they wouldn't go away again until after the summer holidays. Bit different for DM as she still works and is furloughed but just means she's doing all of the above with DF. She's ready to retire in a year or two and says is she's made redundant that will actually be a bonus for her.

Rabblemum · 31/05/2020 10:42

You m lucky, I’m in Devon, infection is very low and the Police are laid back. I miss my very part time job as I genuinely love it and I feel it’s worth while.

I’ve got a bike so I just meet friends outdoors, I’ve explored some local countryside too. Ive not missed shopping one bit, in fact I’m going to spend as little time doing it as possible after lockdown. People need to use their imagination and find simple pleasures.

amusedtodeath1 · 31/05/2020 10:43

I am one of the lucky one's, I've been kinda unlucky in a lot of things so it's about time. In fact I'd say I've been in training for this for the last ten years. I am pretty content to be home, but I know plenty who have very good reasons to need things to get back to normal again, my teen for one, so even though it suits me just fine I still want normality back.

MarieQueenofScots · 31/05/2020 10:47

how though? The bloody computer they sent me home with glowers at me from the table at all times keeping work in my thoughts even when I don't want it

The off button.....

In all seriousness if you haven’t got space for a home office, cover it with a throw, relax in other rooms in the house.

I wfh all the time, it’s very important to me that my work life doesn’t encroach anywhere near my home life so when I’m not working the office door is firmly shut!

RuffleCrow · 31/05/2020 10:47

You're on a PARENTING site, op. Most of us have lives that revolve around our kids and work, and, especially now, we're too knackered to live the sort of high life you think you do.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 31/05/2020 10:48

I feel a million miles away from having my life back. I have PTSD and found my best coping mechanism was to keep doing stuff. We usually go somewhere every weekend but we are in Scotland, all of our usual destinations are shut. Sticking to the 5 miles, we can't even get to the 2 fairy woods our kids love. The stables is shut unless you have your own horse (we don't). We usually have several weekends away a year, can't do that or even make plans for that. Can't meet friends for coffee or at soft play. Can't go out for lunch. Can't have play dates. My University course finished early so no studying til October.

I am keeping busy. We're baking, painting, building furniture, putting up pictures, playing on the rocks by our house, running around the park and learning another language. However I did all that stuff on top of the other stuff.

vanillandhoney · 31/05/2020 10:48

Surely everyone thinks that the things they choose to do in their lives (and I'm talking about choice here not things in your life that you can't change) are the best things to do though.

Well, no - they're just the best things for ME. I mean, my mum loves going to the theatre, going for coffee mornings with friends, going to group exercise classes - I hate all those things but that doesn't mean what I choose is better in any way - why on earth would it?

Don't get me wrong, I do like going for coffee/cake, or out for meals, but my entire life doesn't revolve around those things. I'm just as happy eating homemade or shop-bought cake, or having fish and chip takeaway in the garden instead.

Tolivebytheseaahh · 31/05/2020 10:48

Im pretty boring. But I have young kids and wasn't blessed with the hands-on helpful family. So I don't have babysitters. I also have anemia which makes me feel crap most of the time.

Before coronavirus I did the school run. I chatted to my best friend on the walk. I then chatted to other mums at the gates. It was nice to have an adult conversation and I was getting to know some other mums with toddlers like I have. Sounds dull maybe. But I won't be doing that for at least 3 months. So actually my life of not doing much is still not back to normal. I haven't and won't be enjoying a chat with other mums whilst our kids walk together for a long time.

My child had a swim lesson every Saturday. Again that's not resuming anytime soon.

I cant see my family for a social distanced cuppa because my two year old won't social distance.

You can't even potter around the shops and let the kids look at stuff because it's a no touching, line up and keep apart.

Parks are not open. So my boring morning taking the kids to the playground is not happening.

So I think you are wrong. We still can't be the people we were.

I went to see Russell Howard 3 years ago. That was the last fun child free thing I did lol.

firstimemamma · 31/05/2020 10:51

I don't do any of the things you've mentioned (gigs, pub etc) and therefore by your definition live a quiet life. I'm a sahm and I don't live in a busy area. Do I feel 'content' and like I'm just living like normal? Erm, no! My toddler misses his play groups and friends so much. I miss the library and my friends, taking my son to his groups & many other things. I don't have any family nearby but my friends who do are missing visiting their relatives in their homes. My friend has a newborn who hadn't met her grandmother yet.

Yabu, some people don't feel like their lives are affected much / at all anymore but other people do not feel that way at all - even the ones with simple lives.

endofthelinefinally · 31/05/2020 10:58

I have been shielding since the beginning of March.
My health has been deteriorating steadily. I can't attend hospital appointments. My consultant wants to try a new medication but not until it is safe for me to see her.
I am coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't be able to do most of the things that were on my bucket list, some of them I had hoped to do this year.
I am sure there are lots of people in the same position as me.

Nevertouchakoala · 31/05/2020 11:00

Agree!!! If I see one more thread about people never wanting to see people again or for this to end I may cry!

speakout · 31/05/2020 11:04

Depeds on what you mean by "doing much".

If you like clubbing, going to parties, gigs, crowded pubs etc then I can imaging lockdown must be pretty awful.

If ( like me ) you like forest walks, solitude, reading, crafting, daily yoga then life hasn't changed a great deal.

I don't think you can suggest that some types of activity are more worthwhile than others simply because they involve large crowds or groups of people.

YouCanBeMyWingmanAnyday · 31/05/2020 11:07

@speakout

Depeds on what you mean by "doing much".

If you like clubbing, going to parties, gigs, crowded pubs etc then I can imaging lockdown must be pretty awful.

If ( like me ) you like forest walks, solitude, reading, crafting, daily yoga then life hasn't changed a great deal.

I don't think you can suggest that some types of activity are more worthwhile than others simply because they involve large crowds or groups of people.

This exactly
MrBennsshop · 31/05/2020 11:07

I'm struggling to equate 'people who don't do very much' with being those who don't go to pubs or gigs. That makes no sense at all.

Ginfordinner · 31/05/2020 11:07

Goodness! Some people are far too easily offended Hmm

I agree with the OP. Our lives haven't changed much as we do lead a quiet life but I miss going to work, seeing friends, going to the pub, eating out, shopping, going to food festivals, and just not having to worry about corona virus.

DH just misses going to the pub. He is very introverted and doesn't care if he doesn't see other people.

DD is a student so the current situation has impacted her the most. She has a summer of nothingness to look forward to. Every gig and festival she has booked has been cancelled. She has very few local friends, and was hoping to visit her university friends over the summer and invite them to our house. And she can't work because she is shielded.

Littlepond · 31/05/2020 11:08

My DH is pretty much back to normal life. The only thing missing is the cinema for him. He is working full time as normal, enjoys dinner and TV and a glass of wine and at the weekends he goes for a run with a friend. He does have a group of friends he sees every 4 months or so at the pub so if lockdown continues forever he would notice, but right now his life is pretty much back to normal.
Mine is not. I’m jealous of DH for being satisfied with his quiet easy life! I miss my friends, my family (DH doesn’t talk to his family), pubs and restaurants, going for a coffee etc. I usually have a full busy life and I am hating lockdown.