To think that people who don't do very much have almost got their lives back

[Ghostlyglow]

Certainly not judging those people, nothing wrong with a quiet life if that's what you enjoy.
Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life and like to spend their leisure time attending gigs, going to the pub, travelling etc. have no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

This is quite judgy tbf. You're not exactly wrong though.

I get you OP.

I work in the care sector so I’m still working. That’s normal, except work isn’t normal now, we have lonely residents and socially distancing them means all activities are off.

I go home. I read or watch some tv or use my iPad. Then I sleep and go back to work.

No kids, no grandchildren, no pub lunches with DH, no drinks with mates, no BBQs with friends in garden. I’m so bored.

I don't imagine anyone has got their old, normal life back, whatever they chose to do with it.

As a parent of a child with special needs, we never were able to go out much anyway. No one could babysit for us even pre covid, so our life is pretty similar to before. He has been going to school one day a week instead of 5, I've been working , a mixture of wfh and at work, instead of just in work, and my other dc lives in thier bedroom all the time anyway, as do many teenagers, and has been learning on line.
So a little different, but not too life altering really.
At the beginning of lockdown we got a letter from ds medical practitioner to allow us to go for drives, as this is essential to his, and our, wellbeing and safety. So we have always taken the opportunity to drive short distances to exercises.

I miss the hols, but not the people. COV will effect the needy types more.

Ultimately I think the lockdown is easier for introverted people.

But normal society favours the extroverted, they've just had to adapt for a few months.

Not everyone that looks content or isn't moaning is happy.
Some are beyond being able to moan.
No one is batting an eyelid at my conversion from internationally travelling employed person rarely at home to
housewife, cook and gardener in my house. I cope by getting through each day one day at a time. Drinking some days from mid day onwards other days taking sleeping tablets at 6pm and even knocking back night nurse so I can just sleep through it all because when I'm pissed or sleeping I don't have to feel robbed of my life and dreams.
They all think aww look she's loving her immaculate garden, her sun tan, her gin and tonic sat in the sun listening to radio 2. I look the epitome of domestic serene bliss from the outside. Inside I'm numb.
I'm not loving it I'm making do. I've had dark thoughts. I won't kill myself but ive considered what means are available to me from rope to hosepipe. Too low on the sleeping pills now.
My job is gone. I'm not claiming benefits as I have my emigration/travelling fund I've spent 15 years building up by going without luxuries, working 4 jobs at times and overtime. I need to whittle that down and kiss good bye to my lifelong dream safe in the knowledge my job has gone for ever and I'll never get one I enjoy as much ever again and my dreams of moving abroad in 3 years time gone without the money to do it.

Some days I do wonder what's the point in carrying on. Absolutely everyone around me thinks I'm content , happy and relaxed. No one has a clue how numb and dead inside I feel.

Maybe I should look at a career in Performing Arts as I'm doing a grand job of fooling everyone around me! Pinpointing moaning or saying out loud how I feel. No one can change this situagion and most are only just coping themselves I guess.

And to those that have found contentment. Good on you. I've always envied those content with their lot, so it's nothing new to envy them now . It has to be easier than always striving and fighting for your dreams. Good on them I say. Wish I could find It here in my back garden and home but I can't.

I suppose I don't really understand why not going to pubs or clubs or restaurants has to be boring. There is so much you can still do right now if you want to. I'd feel very limited if the only way I could enjoy myself was to depend on other people for it.

I don't socialise much and haven't missed it at all, so in that sense things are easier for me than people who enjoy socialising.

Life is still very different though. Can't see my family, trying to juggle wfh with my own kids, not being able to take them out to their activities and to visit places.

@SuperMedium in the short term I can put up with it. But if that is how my life is going to be for ever, then it's shit. And I hardly think visiting B and Q for some fence paint and then a supermarket for some food are leisure attractions. I never though my life would become so small that I'd view B and Q as a trip out.

2468whodoyouappreciate why can't you still emigrate after travel restrictions lift? Do it sooner before your money runs out! Do you own your home? Where do you want to go?

MarieQueenofScots Sun 31-May-20 10:47:01
In all seriousness if you haven’t got space for a home office, cover it with a throw, relax in other rooms in the house.

I wfh all the time, it’s very important to me that my work life doesn’t encroach anywhere near my home life so when I’m not working the office door is firmly shut!

I get what the OP means about this though, as I'm in the same boat. My work computer is on a table we had to buy to fit into available space, now wedged in a room there wasn't really a lot of space for and it's in the way. Working from home is not for me anyway, and especially not when the rest of the family is in the house too. It's very different if you even have a spare room you can use as a temporary office.

I think the OP worded her initial post badly in terms of the 'not doing much' but I get what she means and see where she's coming from.

However, as previous posters have pointed out, there may be one or two in the household for whom this is true, but others for whom it is very much not.

I work in the leisure sector and my place of work was forced shut the friday before lockdown. I've been furloughed on the 80% with no employers top up. For the last 10 weeks I have only gone to the supermarket once a week. It's been awful with the stress of job security and being restricted as what you can do.

DH on the other hand whilst not a key worker has been able to continue to work throughout. He was able to go to work, then take the dog out once back etc. His life didnt change.

longearedbat it hardly qualifies as hell or a date worse than death, and there are plenty of places you can go besides B&Q!

Boredom is a luxury quite honestly, and only the shielding or those caring for a shielding person are genuinely confined to their homes, everyone else can go out and about - there certainly are some spoilt drama lamas catastophising about life not being worth living if they can't go to the pub/ Starbucks/ gigs immediately and will have to miss this year's holiday!

@SuperMedium

First world problems

@VodselForDinner

"How hard someone else does or doesn’t find things right now literally has no impact on you."

It does if those people end up influencing the delay in moving towards normality.

Even for people who don't get out much, but don't have cars, gardens, beaches, woodland close by, life is rubbish compared to some of the posts on here. There's people who rely on clubs/pubs etc because they are single and living in small accommodation.

I provide childcare for my GC, which hasn't stopped, life has become harder thanks to transport and social distancing. I needed my cancelled theatre break. The couple of days away I had planned with my GC, because my DD was going to take on extra hours that weekend, would have done my mental and physical health, the world of good. I'd get to be on the coast. If you can do that anyway, lucky you, most of us can't.

The stuff that my key worker adult children have had cancelled, are very much needed. Work hasn't stopped for them, it's bought new problems, extra hours and now there's nothing to look forward to, or the usual healthy way to burn off stress through exercise, has gone.

A lot of people haven't got the money to take up things like sewing and get plants online, when they usually got to markets etc. It's very dependant on where you live. Even gardening has been affected.

So the OP, is right, for some people things haven't changed that much and lock down and then restricted movement, won't mean anything to them. For others, it's a tough time.

I've had two big gigs, a number of small ones, a ball and two foreign holidays cancelled.

I'm still fairly happy chilling out for the past few months.

I'd love to see my family, visit my hometown, and go to the gym again, but enjoying "stuff" isn't the be all and end all.

(I may well have a bit of a cry the day I was supposed to see Queen though...)

I don't go out much and only see one member of my extended family. I'm unfortunately trapped in the house with bored children and a wfh husband. None of my usual peace and quiet when I get home from work or evening. My brain is frying, my patience has gone and I can't hide in Tesco like I used to. So no, whatever easy life I had is eroding in familial proximity acid.

I understand what you mean. I'm not as sociable as I was. I would have hated this in my 20''s. Now I'm back at work and can see a few people I'm quite happy

MadameMarie, actually this theme isn't just first world problems. People's lives in the third world in regards to Church/religious celebrations/attendance has stopped and they will be feeling it, just like a regular pub goer will be. There's a surprising (to some) amount of travel goes on in poorer communities for work and family support and their stories, from an emotional aspect will mirror ours. I know a few of my friends who live just outside of Lagos, Nigeria are really missing the market trips, which is their equivalent to a pub trip.

I see an awful lot of people disagreeing with the OP, have partners, which again makes a big difference.

I have learned to enjoy my own company over the years. I find many people draining. However As a person running a part time business my self employment income has nosedive considerably causing much financial worry. I live with my 15 yr old ds who has been off school for whole lockdown and his moods have been the worst I have ever had at times. He is suffering hugely from missing out on year 10 classes at school. It causes me much concern. I doubt I will turn the corner on this until ds has done year 11 in a year's time. Plus when my income returns to pre covid levels. Who knows how long that will be. So all in all not remotely back to normal...!

But if that is how my life is going to be for ever, then it's shit. And I hardly think visiting B and Q for some fence paint and then a supermarket for some food are leisure attractions.

Yes, because that's all you can do right now - it's a choice of staying home and dying of boredom or having a family day out in ASDA

I do read these threads and think people can't have much imagination if their entire lives revolve around shops, bars and pubs.

OP I fully know what you mean. Im in that bracket, we've 4 kids more into playing in the garden together than sports, didnt see their friends often, dh can fully work from home with not too much disruption and I dont usually go anywhere much. Of course I feel the family thing, but we're not missing sports, entertainment and holidays like so many, our daily existence is fairly close to what it was

But normal society favours the extroverted, they've just had to adapt for a few months

@MadameMarie but it’s not just a few months, is it? We don’t know how long it’s for. I’m an extrovert with generalised anxiety disorder (a winning combo!) and I find this very hard. I had terrible PND on mat leave.