Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people who don't do very much have almost got their lives back

190 replies

Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 09:17

Certainly not judging those people, nothing wrong with a quiet life if that's what you enjoy.
Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life and like to spend their leisure time attending gigs, going to the pub, travelling etc. have no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

OP posts:
SuperMedium · 31/05/2020 09:36

Ghostlyglow lots of us have been going to work throughout because we work in system relevant jobs which cannot be done from home, and homeschooling multiple children around that, perhaps also studying ourselves. It hasn't been cushy box sets and homeworking, with the biggest problem being boredom, for lots of us.

You sound like a spoilt bored child who's never had to entertain themselves.

ThePlantsitter · 31/05/2020 09:37

Why are you making it a competition? It's shit for all of us. I don't suppose it's making you feel better to indulge in jealousy of people you feel are less interesting than you!

AnnaNimmity · 31/05/2020 09:37

Well yes I agree and not judging anyone - I completely miss eating out, meeting friends in restaurants, pubs, art galleries, theatre, gigs, shopping, the office, travelling abroad. I met a friend in a park yesterday which was lovely, and I'm spending lots of time at home with my children, which is also lovely. But my life is not at all back.

I so miss mooching around a gallery, having lunch, popping into a shop on a weekend.

I so miss sitting with my friends over a meal, drinking wine and laughing.

But we're all different - most of my friends don't live within walking distance, so at the moment I can't see them at all. If they did and I could see them in the park, then maybe it would be ok.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 31/05/2020 09:40

@Ghostlyglow I see where you’re coming from op, everyone has differing levels of what is normal for them but it is annoying when people are shouting ‘everything has just gone back to normal’! Eh no I can’t go to shops as normal, I can’t go out for drinks with my friends or even inside their house, I can’t even see my bloody hairdresser but football can resume. Nothing is normal for me yet

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 31/05/2020 09:40

Also there are a certain group of posters who thinks these things will never return, it’s apparently the end of going out drinking etc as we know it Hmm

Zaphodsotherhead · 31/05/2020 09:41

My life hasn't changed much during lockdown. Wake up, write, run, go to work... only thing missing was being able to meet up with my adult kids.

I have made a note to myself to get out more when this is over. It's made me realise that I've become very insular over the years.

AgentCooper · 31/05/2020 09:42

I don’t think it’s the case that other people don’t do much, they just do different things.

I really miss being able to go out to work (wfh for a wee while but had to be furloughed due to childcare). I miss spending time with family and friends and taking DS to the transport museum. But I wasn’t really getting out for meals or to the cinema as DS is still a toddler and not a good sleeper.

My friend from work really, really misses going to concerts, the cinema, cafes etc. She lives alone and these were weekly occurrences in her life before this, with a lovely network of friends. I know she is really struggling.

LovingLen · 31/05/2020 09:43

DS is struggling wfh in his small rented flat, usually out all the time at pubs, festivals, he had booked Glastonbury as he goes each year, cheap weekends in Europe, he is getting very bored whereas we have just been carrying on doing stuff on the house and garden, going for walks and getting the caravan ready hoping to go away in July, We have had some concerts postponed but hope to go next year. so YANBU

Rosebel · 31/05/2020 09:48

My life hasn't changed a lot apart from not seeing my family but my children's life has. No school, no clubs and no friends round. Totally shit for them and no end in sight. I wish it was my life that had changed.

Titsywoo · 31/05/2020 09:49

I've always been a homebody so weekends haven't changed much but life is still very different. The children not being at school has been the hardest thing. Not because I'm sick of them being around but I've worried a lot about my year 10 dd and how this will affect her education and my autistic year 8 ds who was finally in a good place socially. So missing out a bit on gigs, parties etc doesn't seem like too big a deal to me right now.

MistressGammon · 31/05/2020 09:49

I’ll be honest I’ve quite enjoyed the change of pace. I’ve been fairly happy working from home, training as much as I want and not being pestered by people as much.

We’ve had a holiday and several marathons / triathlons cancelled, the kids have missed school and their activities and I’ve missed going for a bike ride and a meal out / few wines with my husband (hate the constant cooking!) and certain friends but that’s it. DH has worked as normal throughout and we’ve been lucky not to be affected financially so far when so many others have been.

Original poster
Ghostlyglow · 31/05/2020 09:50

Never grow up, @SuperMedium it's a trap Wink
Love your name @AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii Grin

Seems like some angry people are determined to be judged Grin

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/05/2020 09:53

My experience is different, some of my friends that did the most are handling it best, to them it’s a novelty. To me, I didn’t do loads but what I did kept me sane and I’m hating every second of this.

Jasmineisfizzy · 31/05/2020 09:54

In the nicest way, what’s the point of this thread if it’s not to be judgemental of people different to you? Either way it’s not going to change the circumstances we’re in and it’s not going to make you feel better

vanillandhoney · 31/05/2020 09:55

I agree that if your free time/social life revolves around pubs, gigs, movies, restaurants etc. then you're going to struggle.

But you don't have to enjoy those specific things to "separate your work and your home life." I've spent hours up the beach with the dog. We've been wild swimming, gone for walks and seen baby animals on the farms. DH has been out biking as normal too.

I can't think of anything worse than spending my leisure time in a crowded theatre or restaurant - so yes, my life has pretty much continued as normal.

matchboxtwentyunwell · 31/05/2020 09:55

We don't go out to clubs/pubs/crowded restaurants much, but we do desperately miss seeing our families. We have family all over the country and world that we won't be able to see for a long time.

YABU.

LonginesPrime · 31/05/2020 09:56

I just meant if you either don't work or you like working from home and don't do the leisure stuff I mentioned

But OP, there are heaps of other leisure activities people do outside of the things you've mentioned.

Sure, the people whose lives 'didn't change' when lockdown started won't be missing out on much.

But even lots of the less sociable people people do sports, gym, parkrun, take lessons, have group hobbies, enjoy going to theatres, cinema, museums, and a million other things that they can't do at the moment.

It's not just you who's missing out, don't worry!

Echobelly · 31/05/2020 09:56

I do have a few friends who have said they are quite happy about and enjoying the lack of socialising and going out, so YANBU

bonsaidragon · 31/05/2020 09:56

Maybe they have but remember that not everybody who has a 'quiet life' enjoys it. It's not always through choice. I will be having a 'quiet life' for the foreseeable future as going anywhere other than my job is not a good idea.

Moondust001 · 31/05/2020 09:56

It is entirely possible to be very sociable and do none or few of the things you seem to believe constitute "having a life". I love travelling, although judging by what you consider to be "having a life", I seriously doubt we travel to the same places or do the same things.

Justanotherscumbag · 31/05/2020 09:58

Those of us who quite like to keep work life separate from home life and like to spend their leisure time attending gigs, going to the pub, travelling etc. have no light at the end of the tunnel yet.

I work in one of those industries you mention there, by definition my work life is sociable. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be very good at it.
I can't usually attend things like that because I'm usually working myself at the times these things are on. Under normal circumstances I'd be very busy at work now, and probably getting a fair amount of overtime that enables me to be able to do something I want to do when I do have annual leave.
I don't do very much outside of work because I don't have the time or the resources, it tends to be a case of home life stuff that needs to be done in the gaps between working.

So even though I don't normally do very much outside of work, my life bears no resemblance to what it did this time last year. I haven't got my life back, and no, not much light at the end of the tunnel either.

toastfiend · 31/05/2020 09:58

I wouldn't say that I don't do much, but my life is closer to normal again now because I have different hobbies and interests to people who like gigs/festivals/clubs/things that involve crowded places. I used to enjoy all that stuff but I've changed since having my DS and my limited time to do my own thing now means I'd always pick other hobbies over spending lots of time/money at a festival.

I work from home all the time anyway, although my work is certainly not quiet. Hobbies wise, I walk, I horse ride, I run, I weight lift, I read, and I have a baby, dogs, and horses who all take up much of my time. Now I can meet friends for a walk or a drink in the garden, things are much more usual for me. I miss being able to hug my family, going out for dinner, hosting dinner parties, taking my DS out for the day, going to the pub for a cider on a hot day, taking the dogs and DS down to the river to swim (because it's so bloody busy now), but otherwise life is pretty regular for me now. I recognise I'm very lucky to be able to say that, but I think the implication that those of who are content with, perhaps, more solitary hobbies "don't have much going on in life" is a little unfair.

Moondust001 · 31/05/2020 09:58

Seems like some angry people are determined to be judged

No, it sounds like you are shallow and think that what you enjoy is the only form of life.

Apolloanddaphne · 31/05/2020 09:59

I would say I lead a fairly quiet life but I am also very fed up. I can't pop into town for a mooch round the shops and a coffee. I can't visit the library. I can't get my hair cut. I can't see my DM. I haven't been able to do the couple of low key voluntary things I usually do. I can't attend my choir. Maybe this makes me sounds busy, but really I am not. I just pepper my week with a few things and spend a lot of time at home pottering around and walking the dog. These are the only two things I have still been able to do and now I would like to do more.

howaboutchocolate · 31/05/2020 09:59

I go to gigs and the theatre all the time usually. I miss it, I'm going to miss the summer festivals. But staying at home is fine too. Between work, a toddler, and catching up with reading, I'm plenty busy. Dwelling on what you're missing out on will only make you more miserable. I feel for you if you're stuck at home all by yourself with nobody to talk though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread