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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask dp to conduct important meetings elsewhere

240 replies

Fedupmum13 · 29/05/2020 11:05

Dp and myself are both working from home with a 1 year old. She teething badly at the moment and typically most of the caring is being left to me. I have to do my work in the evenings and weekends or when she is sleeping basically.
It's a nightmare but everyone had to adapt etc.
We live in a 3 bedroomed house, but unfortunately no office space. As such DP is conducting his work on the kitchen table. Not a problem most if the time, except for when he has teams meetings. He probably had around 6 meetings a day, 5 of which are fairly informal and so if I come in to the kitchen with DD to feed her, or want to make myself lunch I'm not really interrupting much.
Dp has just shooed me out of the kitchen because I was making some tea (with DD in my arms) as he was having an important meeting with 6 others. After the call ended I asked if he could conduct important meetings in one of our bedrooms. He's just blown up at me and accused me of being unreasonable. Am I? I don't want to be effectively locked in the living room with DD when he has these meetings. They can last over an hour and it doesn't feel fair.
I had an important work meeting a few weeks back and I didn't hesitate in going upstairs. I've had a few others which I've done in the living room as they were casual, informal ones.
I wish I could just go and move in with my parents to be honest. Or for him to sod off to his dad's.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 02/06/2020 09:52

Good luck 💐

Dunking · 02/06/2020 11:05

You are amazing. I'm so pleased to see you have left this abusive pig.

highmarkingsnowbile · 02/06/2020 13:45

Hang in there! He'll try to wheedle back in, abusers don't let go easily, especially when they have a cushy set up like he had. Hope you can tell your family and the truth - he is emotionally abusive. Yy to serial inseminator, he did the exact same thing to his ex. And instead of focusing on his child who was still a baby, he went a-dating to find another one.

iusedtohavechickens · 02/06/2020 15:55

I have 5 kids including a teething one year old, hubby is working from home and does all his meetings in our bedroom. I have made it clear to him that if I can see him then I will treat it as if he is home, if he doesn't want to disturbed he has to go upstairs. X

ButteryPuffin · 02/06/2020 16:02

He'll try to wheedle back in

Wouldn't surprise me if this happened coming up to a weekend when he is supposed to have his older child and realises the convenient childcare provider isn't there anymore. Be prepared for emotional blackmail about how much child misses you, how you're stopping him having time with his family..

Davespecifico · 02/06/2020 16:16

I’m pleased for you. Now you can feel free in your own home and maybe, ironically, get more work done.
It’s a shame that you have this bond with your step child that will now be broken, but perhaps sooner rather than later is best.

GhostCurry · 02/06/2020 19:17

Bravo OP!

MulticolourMophead · 05/06/2020 11:33

@ButteryPuffin

He'll try to wheedle back in

Wouldn't surprise me if this happened coming up to a weekend when he is supposed to have his older child and realises the convenient childcare provider isn't there anymore. Be prepared for emotional blackmail about how much child misses you, how you're stopping him having time with his family..

Maybe OP could discuss this directly with the child's mum, leaving the dad out of the discussion.
HugeAckmansWife · 05/06/2020 12:21

Blimey, I read page 1 then came here!! I need to go back and RTFT! Good luck op x

ZorbaTheHoarder · 05/06/2020 12:55

Stay strong and don't let him back, OP - you will only regret it!

You rally will be much less tired and stressed without him.

Good luck!

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 10/06/2020 12:55

@Fedupmum13
How are you? 💐

Fedupmum13 · 11/06/2020 22:14

Hi, sorry for late reply.
I'm doing OK. Finding it tough with DD as she's teething badly. But the atmosphere in the house is nicer.
Ex is trying to worm his way back in but I'm staying strong. Had some bad news last week that a friends husband died from a heart attack. Put things in to perspective a bit and I'm not wasting my life being sad and treated like rubbish.

OP posts:
InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 11/06/2020 23:08

Well done Op, glad you're staying strong Thanks

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 12/06/2020 06:25

Chin up OP! You only have one life, make the most of it. 💐
It’s important to learn who are the energy suckers in it ☺️
Glad to hear you are doing okay with your DC (despite teething) 👍

MyOtherProfile · 12/06/2020 06:51

Well done Op. I hope you can work out a way forward that makes life a bit easier for you now.

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