Female neighbour texting my DH every day

[RobertSmithdoesmyhair]

I'm furloughed, so at home every day. DH working FT. Female neighbour texts my DH every day while he is at work- can I borrow something, do you have..., I'm in the supermarket, do you want anything etc...She never texts or asks me! AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this?

The thing is that there is always the potential for a seemingly innocent friendship to become something else.

Start texting her husband and continue to do so every day.

"We are buddies with lots of couples and the unspoken rule is that you always text the one who's of the same sex"

That's fucking weird. God people are mental.

Op just message and say HI neughbour Jeff said you were asking to borrow stuff that's fine probs best to ask me as I'm working from home and Jeff is back working full time.x

OP, I'd say a good chat with your DH is the first thing you do, show him this thread if it helps to illustrate why the texting is an issue.

I think having your DH set up the WhatsApp group would be a clear signal, and the texting should die away.

Group Whatsapp? Fuck that!

Tell you husband that it is pissing you off and tell him to nip it in the bud now. You don't want her messaging you every day asking to borrow stuff either.

I would be giving her a very wide berth. She sounds like a loon.

Who is so disorganised that they need to borrow stuff on a daily basis anyway. That is the alarm bell to me. It's clearly an excuse.

It's weird. He should stop answering her so much. Needing a different item every day is a ridiculously obvious excuse to talk to him.

OP you haven’t said what your DH view of this is

@Hohohole Summed it up nicely. People ARE just mental!

why do people have to go through whatsapp / fb group to talk to each other ?? just speak face to face so much quicker and easier.
op speak to your dh and get him to put a stop to this rubbish, does her dh know about the texting ? more importantly why hasn't dh blocked her or does he like the attention ?

She's flirting with him. Probably not to start an affair but she wants attention, making him feel he is the important person in your house so he will (hopefully) be flattered by her. Men don't generally pick up on the reason like we do. I had an (ex) friend who always flirted with everyones husband she wasn't after an affair but just loved all the attention. My husband didn't notice but it annoyed me so I gradually eased her out of my friends list to my aquaintences circle.

If he isn’t able to tell her stop (maybe he isn’t too bothered either way as he doesn’t see anything in it) I’d ask him to forward her texts when she send so you answer them going forward.

I don’t think you’re controlling, I personally would question why a woman who knows me would text my husband rather than me on a daily basis. They aren’t close friends so no sensible reason really.

It makes you uncomfortable so put a stop to it.

Our next door neighbour is a pain in the arse like this too. She’s 67 so hardly ancient, but she has DH convinced she’s a helpless old lady.

I can be in the garden with the DC all day, there’ll be no sign of her. As soon as DH comes home and I go inside she’s out like a rocket having the chats with DH.

She’s mentioned several times that she wants to “adopt” DH and have him move in with her. Er... ok

@Hohohole

"We are buddies with lots of couples and the unspoken rule is that you always text the one who's of the same sex"

That's fucking weird. God people are mental.

No it’s not weird at all!

I wouldn’t text any of my friends husbands, unless it was a specific question that only he could answer, but I would always look to her first if it was a question either could answer.

It’s like a respect thing. Do I think my friends would think I wanted to have an affair with them if I did start texting them? No, but they would find it a bit odd, as I would if they text my DH with a question I could answer.

Maybe it's a generational thing @Starcup? I'm with you though.

As a bisexual, am I not safe to text anyone then?

It's nothing to do with gender. I wouldn't mind if it was an occasional text, but it is much more than that. Every week day when he is at work and some weekend ones when he is home! It's more frequent than I text my best friend!

may what does your dh think of being a potential toyboy for your 67yo neighbour then ?

Is your DH answering her? If she is texting so frequently she must have thought she was getting some encouragement. I doubt she would continue if he ignored her. She is a neighbour, they are not friends. Unless he nips this in the bud now it could get very problematic. They live next door so could get very messy. Do you think her DH knows she is texting him constantly? And do you think your DH is enjoying the attention? My DH would have shut this down immediately. Just being kind my arse!!

It's too much! You're neighbours more than friends. What is the outcome of all these shopping favour texts, requests for help. Does DH respond every time? I think he is enjoying the attention tbh.

may what does your dh think of being a potential toyboy for your 67yo neighbour then ? smile

He was basking in the golden glow of her adoration but since I said i thought it was a bit weird he’s rowed back a bit 😂

Surely that level of contact has to be encouraged. You wouldn't keep doing it unless you were getting good responses.

She isn't 67! She is the same age as me!

I’d just text her back from DHs phone saying ‘yes please I’ll have a fab ice lolly, thanks robertsmith’
This is assuming he’s already said contact robertsmith if you want to borrow our chainsaw as I’m at work.