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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my boss is being unreasonable about hearing my kid in the background

173 replies

justgoingwithit · 28/05/2020 13:05

I apologise in advance if a similar thread on here has already been done on this topic of WFH.

I'm actually annoyed by a comment my manager/boss made this morning.

Our company put in notice and moved out of the office space just after lockdown began. We will now be working from home indefinitely. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages but for me going to work was my chance to get out of the house. I'm a single mum and have a 5 year old and currently live with my parents to save enough for a deposit to buy a house. Its not the ideal situation but I'm trying to grin and bear with it for now.

I share a small cramped room with my child and have no space for a desk to properly work. Its not my house, its my parents' so rearranging their already small lounge for an office is not an option for me. I have been working from our bedroom and my daughter likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out and this isn't a problem for me. I tend to move away briefly when I have to make a work call with a client. When my boss calls I usually don't feel I have to do that because he too has kids and obviously knows I have one and don't have my own place currently. He passed a comment today that it wasn't professional that my kid could be heard in the background. I told him that when I speak to clients I always move away from her or at least ask her to be quiet before I get on the phone.

I'm sorry if this turning into a rant but even though I'm working from home, I won't ignore my child and shut her out for 8 hours. I'm actually angry that they shut the offices for good. My boss has a massive house and has said I should consider working from his house a few days in the week which I am not keen on because this married boss of mine has made several indecent gestures towards me (sexual harassment) but it was resolved (sort of) but still not comfortable going to his. I have stayed with this company for 4 years because I enjoy the work and the pay is so good. AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I'd also like to add that, despite this lockdown and no office space, I have gotten more contracts for the company since lockdown began and have been working as hard as I can.

OP posts:
TheThingWithFeathers · 28/05/2020 13:07

Your boss is a twat. I can often hear colleagues' kids on calls these days, and I don't think anything of it.
Also working from his house, wtf?! Do NOT do this!

UnfinishedSymphon · 28/05/2020 13:10

It sounds like an excuse so he can get you working from his house. Personally, I'd be looking for another job!

LouiseTrees · 28/05/2020 13:11

You could suggest you put your daughter in your parents lounge and your parents go to his home. Sounds like he’s trying it on.

Sceptre86 · 28/05/2020 13:14

The boss is a pervy idiot and sounds like he could be using this as a ploy to get you to his. Do not go over, continue to work as you are. We are lucky to have a separate dining room which my dh is using as his office to work from home. Sometimes the kids can be heard on calls to colleagues and so far it has not been a problem. If he is on a call to seniors I will do my best to keep the kids upstairs or take them out for a walk. Everyone who is wfh is in the same boat so a bit of give and take is necessary.

KitKatKit · 28/05/2020 13:15

YANBU. He's a prat and trying it on.

CrazyDuchess · 28/05/2020 13:16

Your boss sounds super creepy!

Agree with all pp, do not go to his. This is part and parcel of working from home in these current circumstances.

ittakes2 · 28/05/2020 13:18

I am sorry I think it’s reasonably he mentioned it - you explained you change the environment before you speak to clients...end of issue I think.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 28/05/2020 13:19

You say the sexual harassment was “resolved”. What happened?

Presumably there is a record of this?

I think he is just trying to get you to his house, but you can be quite confident of saying no because if he tries to make anything of it, the record of the sexual harassment will be there to back you up.

SoloMummy · 28/05/2020 13:20

Technically, you have childcare and I think that in your scenario all calls should be treated as you are with clients.
Yes things are difficult. I have a child the same age and am a lone parent. But having my child's grandparents in the same house would be idyllic for me!
The office situation may suit you, but it's unlikely to suit colleagues and why would he pay for empty office space?
Yabvu. And not recognising how privileged you currently are.

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 13:20

Whilst I agree he sounds like a total creep, I’m surprised at the other responses here. Every other thread I’ve seen assures the poster their company will not accept you working from whilst also looking after children. And I do agree that whilst you’re working- your children should be larking about in the background whether yours talking to your boss or clients.

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 13:22

I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I missed this. Then you’ve absolutely no excuse for having your daughter in your office during working hours.

BlueJava · 28/05/2020 13:22

It sounds to me like he's trying to get you to work from his house - don't do this! I'd keep a records of all conversations with dates around this for now and talk to HR if you have concerns.

Love51 · 28/05/2020 13:24

My 6 year old came for cuddle during a team meeting. My manager's manager said hi to him and the meeting continued (we all tend to be on mute unless we are speaking). I'd also have been happy with him being completely ignored. Some of your clients will also have a kid in the background. Kids are being shuffled between parents. It is what it is. Don't go to his house, it negates the point of lockdown as well as blurring boundaries.

ClaudiaWankleman · 28/05/2020 13:25

It's completely unreasonable to say that.

Anyone, boss or client, who is reasonable would recognise that whole households being at home, trying to work, getting on top of each other, maybe reducing productivity, is our new normal for as long as it takes for us all to be back working in offices and going to school. It's completely unavoidable.

Just because grandparents are in the same building it doesn't mean that they are able to look after a child, and your boss can't put demands on them to do so.

I would be quite sharp if he brings it up anymore OP, as I have been to a colleague who made a comment about my working situation.

Batqueen · 28/05/2020 13:25

YANBU, in calls with my team we get all sorts including parcel deliveries, birds because it’s hot and we need windows open and kids too.

It doesn’t need to be said that it’s not the same when with a wider audience.

Having said that, as a client I’ve had people call me when I can hear kids in the background and they just apologise - I understand and get on with it, even pre COVID circumstances happen and as long as they do a good job and I can still hear them I don’t particularly care!

DonnaDarko · 28/05/2020 13:27

Sorry, I agree with him and I've been WFH for the last year.

DS is usually in nursery but on the rare ocassions he isn't, I've not taken calls or internal meetings with him in the room.

Are your parents not around to keep her distracted when you have calls? It doesn't have to be for 8 hours of the day.

Also if you are going to WFH permanently, I really think you need to invest in an office space. I can't work if I'm not at my desk. I don't feel productive and I'm more likely to get backache.

Your employer should be completing a risk assessment with you and providing the equipment you need to work correctly.

milveycrohn · 28/05/2020 13:27

If your parents are around, then maybe you could get them to help with childcare.
I would suggest finding some suitable activities for your parents to do with your DC.
If your DC was normally at school, then I assume the school have set work that should be done. Otherwise, get your parents to look after the child, take to park, baking, painting, etc so you can concentrate on your job

Love51 · 28/05/2020 13:27

We normally aren't allowed to WFH at all in my role, but as we also aren't allowed in the office, we are WFH. People who are WFH aren't supposed to be doing childcare, but seeing as there is no non-payment childcare, we are doing that as well.

Spam88 · 28/05/2020 13:29

Agree that in normal times you shouldn't have your kid around whilst WFH, but I think he's unreasonable to say anything given the current situation.

That being said, you said you have childcare so why aren't you using it? She'll quickly get used to the fact that she's not allowed in the room while you're working - my just turned 3 yo manages to go all day without disturbing her dad 🤷‍♀️

Mistigri · 28/05/2020 13:30

their company will not accept you working from whilst also looking after children.

She's not "looking after" her kid. She's sharing cramped accommodation with her child.

If the company doesn't want employees to work in a house where a child is present they need to provide an office space to work in. I wonder what the OP's employment contract specifies about her place of work.

This is basically a pretext by a dodgy boss to put an employee in a vulnerable situation so he can make sexual advances.

Grumpylockeddownwoman · 28/05/2020 13:31

Mixed feelings on this. It does sound like perhaps your boss has an ulterior motive.

However - what was agreed when your company decided to close its offices? Under usual circumstances you would be expected to not be undertaking childcare while at work - so what was your long term plan for holiday time etc?

Appreciate things are bit different at the moment, but what do you plan on doing during the school holidays and the like?

Mistigri · 28/05/2020 13:34

Also if you are going to WFH permanently, I really think you need to invest in an office space

The OP makes it clear that there isn't an "office space". I doubt her contract requires her to provide one, this is up to the employer. You can't physically make an office if you don't have enough rooms (privilege on flagrant display by some posters on here).

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2020 13:35

I’m also on the fence about this. Most companies don’t allow working and child cate at the same time, for obvious reasons. I don’t understand why your parents can’t care for your child whilst you work from your room? Yes it’s a bit of a learning curve, but explaining mummy is going to work now and will do that in the bedroom and she needs to stay with granny, and then keep at it, till she understands would be fine.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2020 13:36

She's not "looking after" her kid. She's sharing cramped accommodation with her child

If the kids in the bedroom with her and her parents are not then she’s looking after her kid. No point trying to pretend otherwise.

ClaudiaWankleman · 28/05/2020 13:36

However - what was agreed when your company decided to close its offices?
Where have you been @Grumpylockeddownwoman ?
There were no agreements to close offices, it just happened overnight. Preparation time was minimal and I don't think even the most cautious business planners expected it to last this long, let alone into the future.

OP can't have agreed to a specific childcare plan because there was no opportunity to manage anything other than what is currently happening.