AIBU to think my boss is being unreasonable about hearing my kid in the background

[justgoingwithit]

I apologise in advance if a similar thread on here has already been done on this topic of WFH.

I'm actually annoyed by a comment my manager/boss made this morning.

Our company put in notice and moved out of the office space just after lockdown began. We will now be working from home indefinitely. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages but for me going to work was my chance to get out of the house. I'm a single mum and have a 5 year old and currently live with my parents to save enough for a deposit to buy a house. Its not the ideal situation but I'm trying to grin and bear with it for now.

I share a small cramped room with my child and have no space for a desk to properly work. Its not my house, its my parents' so rearranging their already small lounge for an office is not an option for me. I have been working from our bedroom and my daughter likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out and this isn't a problem for me. I tend to move away briefly when I have to make a work call with a client. When my boss calls I usually don't feel I have to do that because he too has kids and obviously knows I have one and don't have my own place currently. He passed a comment today that it wasn't professional that my kid could be heard in the background. I told him that when I speak to clients I always move away from her or at least ask her to be quiet before I get on the phone.

I'm sorry if this turning into a rant but even though I'm working from home, I won't ignore my child and shut her out for 8 hours. I'm actually angry that they shut the offices for good. My boss has a massive house and has said I should consider working from his house a few days in the week which I am not keen on because this married boss of mine has made several indecent gestures towards me (sexual harassment) but it was resolved (sort of) but still not comfortable going to his. I have stayed with this company for 4 years because I enjoy the work and the pay is so good. AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I'd also like to add that, despite this lockdown and no office space, I have gotten more contracts for the company since lockdown began and have been working as hard as I can.

Can you use a headset to try to cut down background noise?

Theres one made by a company called Plantronics thats designed for rejecting call centre noise, they can plug into most all desktop phones around 50 odd quid IIRC worth asking a supplier to see?

They as best I know don't plug into mobiles but i might be a bit outdated on that now!

Here you go they've merges now with Poly comms..

www.poly.com/gb/en

I was on a call with my line director today he was mid sentence and said to us , oh hold on a moment you're just about to hear me open the door, cue delivery man 'hello I've got a parcel for Bob', director 'thanks very much' door closes 'right as I was saying ....'. A regional director was giving a zoom presentation on some policy changes last week and her dog started going nuts barking and tearing around the room, everyone just laughed. Your boss sounds like a cock.

The bottom line here is you didn't ask to work from home, you didn't claim to have an ideal work set up and we're in the middle of a fucking global pandemic. HIBU

If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

So one minute childcare isn't an issue, so you could go to the office, but the next minute your parents can't occupy your child when you're on a call because they're sleeping due to working nights.

So which is it? It can't be both. Do your parents magically not need sleep if you're at the office?

I WFH and did so when DS was small. It's not acceptable to have your DC in the room when you're on calls.
There may be other issues with your boss but he wasn't being UR to say your DC shouldn't be there.

My organisation has promoted the IBM working from home pledge. I think it deserves promoting.

www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-pledge-support-my-fellow-ibmers-working-from-home-during-krishna

My husband WFH, he is the MD of a finance company. Ee have a two year old and whilst she is never in the room whilst he is on calls to clients she might e whilst he is on calls to colleagues (they know she exists!). Additionally whilst she may be out of the room, if she decides to have a terrible twos moment of screaming frenzy in the hallway, I can drag or carry her away but there is no way his clients will not hear. They all are very aware people are working from home. He frequently laughs as to how many are surrounded by screaming babies, stroppy toddlers, and fighting children and arents frantically keep telling them to be quiet when he isnt bothered, then there are the households with incessant barking dogs in the background.
Everyone recognises that we are living in an extremely unusual world and life is far from the way it was and will be for a long time. Everyone is having to compensate for that.
Your work environment obviously hasn't hampered your ability to do your job based on your contracts so I'd just ignore him, he's trying it on, but to ensure he has no opportunity to mention it again I would ensure your child is not with you when you make or receive calls to him. You just need to explain in advance that she needs to be very quiet and play with grandma.

Is your boss the company owner?

I would definitely not work in his home given the history of his conduct! Agree that if he continues to challenge not being happy with your work environment ask if the company will fund you using a shared workspace

This is why schools have to get back to normal ASAP. No danger for children (more chance of drowning). Unions are power grabbing. (I am a teacher and Mum)

As others have said these are not normal times. The government has ordered all those that can work from home should. Doesn’t mention anything about kids rattling in background.

Anyway you answered his question. The clients don’t hear her so put it out of your mind and carry on.

When this is over you have no office to go back to so when the conversation comes up again just politely tell him that his house isn’t a suitable work environment. I’m sure it doesn’t come with proper consideration of health and safety law that you would expect in an office. Fire extinguishers and all that. Tell him you’ll carry on working from home until there is suitable premises where all colleagues can work together

DH was in a meeting the other day and someone asked who had an aviary as they could hear birds singing. Someone just had their patio doors open!

Some of these comments are mind-boggling

Your daughter is 5!

Why are people pretending that it's strange that there's a difference between asking her parents to look after her child when she's out at work and when she's there?

We have SIL's 3 kids here while she works in ICU. It's not easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than trying to explain to a 5yo that they can't go and see their Mummy upstairs to tell her a story/take her a biscuit/ask her a question.

It's much easier to mind someone's kid when their parent isn't just out of reach as they aren't focussed on the parent being nearby.

It's also completely different from their other parent having to work extra hard to keep them occupied and keep them away from the working parent.

I did a webinar today where my 9 year old popped his head around the door and asked me if I wanted an ice cream from the ice cream man and had forgotten I was on a webinar. I apologised immediately and everyone replied in the chat box how cute he was

Well, people could hardly say otherwise!

Be careful he's not 'grooming!' A situation here - you can't work from home because of your child, I've an alternative come work at my home ... then you're kinda stuck in a creeps house because he's engineered it that way - could you suggest you would work there if everyone else does?! Do you have an HR department you could ping this off of and get some advice? He sounds like he's setting up this scenario!
Saying that is also get the child to play elsewhere so he can't insist you make changes like working from his home 🤢

You can’t really do much about it. I’ve generally had protected work/childcare time so lots of my external meetings are done in peace. However, I’ve had quite a few internal meetings when I’ve been looking after 2 under 5s if they don’t fall under my work time. They have been an utter shitshow quite frankly but it’s better I’m there and semi able to listen and contribute than not at all.

When our office first closed we has to prove we had childcare available to avoid furlough. They soon realised they essentially wouldn’t have an active work force as not many people have a spare nonworking adult at home.

My son is four and is usually in the room when I’m working, I put a headset on when I’m calling clients, but it isn’t something I always do when speaking to colleagues. They got to hear all about him wiping his own bum last week.

Op I'm just thinking ahead. I'm assuming is business owner too. He has permanently closed the office and presumably is thinking his home could become a permanent office. Come end of lockdown you will have no real excuse not to go to the office in his house.

He is engineering a situation that will put you in a very vulnerable position, especially if he lives alone and there isn't anyone else in the office. I would be looking for another job today.

WFH in a lockdown isn't comparable to WFH at a normal point in time. Ops living conditions sound cramped. Her and DD share one room in the parents house. Op is also trying to use that room to work. So probably only a small two bedroom house. The childs toys are likely to also be stored in the bedroom. How can any reasonable person expect a child not to access their own bedroom?

But I don't think that the boss is that bothered about the child especially if Ops still making him money.

What he is bothered about is trying to get the Op alone. Could you imagine that she went to his house and was raped, no witnesses, and the question of why you broke the lockdown rules.

Op tread very carefully. Get yourself another job asap

For what I read this is not an ideal job for you. Looking for another job may be the best option. You prefer working from an office and your boss does not seem very professional himself.

Thank you all for your messages.

I know deep down in my heart that I will have to look for another job.

Just to clarify a few things. When I was at work before lockdown, my daughter was usually only home with my parents for an hour or two at most. They work nights (key workers) so even that hour or two was strain on them as a 5 year old can be very demanding of attention and obviously needs keeping an eye on.

Now that I am home, they are able to fully rest and in any case, my daughter prefers to be around me than her grandparents. She only started reception last September and had been in nursery full-time before then so I had already planned on taking leave for the summer holidays so I am with her.

My boss, who is also the business owner, is married and his wife works full-time and definitely will not be home and I have checked with my colleagues and they were not offered to go work from his home. We will, however, meet there in his home once a week, for face to face meetings , after lockdown of course but I will certainly not go when I know it will just be me and my boss.

I really appreciate your suggestions and it has brought a lot of clarity.

Op start looking today. I know at least 3 people who've moved jobs during lockdown. Two haven't met there colleagues face to face yet.

Everything you write screams trouble, sooner or later you will end up at that house alone.

Thanks, I will start looking today.