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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my boss is being unreasonable about hearing my kid in the background

173 replies

justgoingwithit · 28/05/2020 13:05

I apologise in advance if a similar thread on here has already been done on this topic of WFH.

I'm actually annoyed by a comment my manager/boss made this morning.

Our company put in notice and moved out of the office space just after lockdown began. We will now be working from home indefinitely. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages but for me going to work was my chance to get out of the house. I'm a single mum and have a 5 year old and currently live with my parents to save enough for a deposit to buy a house. Its not the ideal situation but I'm trying to grin and bear with it for now.

I share a small cramped room with my child and have no space for a desk to properly work. Its not my house, its my parents' so rearranging their already small lounge for an office is not an option for me. I have been working from our bedroom and my daughter likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out and this isn't a problem for me. I tend to move away briefly when I have to make a work call with a client. When my boss calls I usually don't feel I have to do that because he too has kids and obviously knows I have one and don't have my own place currently. He passed a comment today that it wasn't professional that my kid could be heard in the background. I told him that when I speak to clients I always move away from her or at least ask her to be quiet before I get on the phone.

I'm sorry if this turning into a rant but even though I'm working from home, I won't ignore my child and shut her out for 8 hours. I'm actually angry that they shut the offices for good. My boss has a massive house and has said I should consider working from his house a few days in the week which I am not keen on because this married boss of mine has made several indecent gestures towards me (sexual harassment) but it was resolved (sort of) but still not comfortable going to his. I have stayed with this company for 4 years because I enjoy the work and the pay is so good. AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I'd also like to add that, despite this lockdown and no office space, I have gotten more contracts for the company since lockdown began and have been working as hard as I can.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 28/05/2020 15:14

If childcare isn’t an issue for you to enable you to go to the office, then why can’t you use that childcare wfh?

cottonwoolbrain · 28/05/2020 15:21

Just realised I never finished my previous post.. all phone extensions in sisters house have now been gathered up and hidden in the wardrobe.. no more impromptu interruptions from my nephew

DrCoconut · 28/05/2020 15:22

I'm maybe wrong but I'm interpreting this as childcare during work hours is not a problem in normal circumstances ie OP has childminder/school/whatever. But now there is no childcare, her parents are working so can't routinely do it and so she has to look after her child and work, all with a twatty boss piling on pressure.

Coyoacan · 28/05/2020 15:26

So do people now have to have a spare room to turn into an office to be employable?

My mother worked from home when I was five, but she had a room to herself and other people there to stop me running in to her.

I can't believe the people who think the grandparents should be minding the child and keeping her away from her mother for eight hours.

Aridane · 28/05/2020 15:33

So do people now have to have a spare room to turn into an office to be employable?

It may now be the new normal. Or put another way, it has always been the normal where I work - that to be employable you need childcare. Children aren’t brought to the office. Our company pre pandemic (and for my co,leagues in a similar industry) allowed WFH but NOT as a substitute for child care.

Khione · 28/05/2020 15:34

send him this link on email - and remind him this is is 'unprecedented times' and 'the new normal' - and that things will improve but that there will be a 'new normal' and he needs to get used to it.

no one worried about this - and childcare was there - just not actually in the right place at the right time

Devlesko · 28/05/2020 15:35

well he's right, of course. I would refuse to do business with somebody who had kids in the background, it's the most unprofessional thing to hear.
But, you have no choice, it was the boss that closed the office. I'd look for a new job tbh, as it doesn't sound like wfh is a viable option atm.

Blackbear19 · 28/05/2020 15:36

Op good money or not he sounds sleazy I'd be job hunting.

Kids are kids and sometimes they want mum / dad. I've been trying to keep my LO quiet but if he has it in his head Dad is who he wants its actually far less disruptive to let him have a 2 min hug than a 15min tantrum kicking and screaming because I'm trying to hold him back from Daddy. It's not natural either esp when the parent is there / within ear shot.

Some very Victorian children should never been seen or heard attitudes on here.

Sk1nnyB1tch · 28/05/2020 15:36

I think ChateauMargaux has it, focus on getting your mortgage and then start looking for a move.

Maybe a civil email reminding your boss of recent work success and requesting he schedule calls with you so you can treat them in a similar manner to client calls.

I would also allude to the "inappropriateness" of working from his home but say you would be happy to identify and price up any available "pod office" space for you to work in when lockdown is over if he wishes.

I don't know if this is available where you are but libraries near me are opening soon and the larger ones often have people working in them. That might suit you in the longer term if you need/want to get out of your house.

SweetPetrichor · 28/05/2020 15:36

I think it's unprofessional to hear children in the background of calls. We have two team members with you kids and it's a pain to have to hear them in the morning check in. Fortunately we don't use video...I have absolutely no interest in anybody's offspring!

Starcup · 28/05/2020 15:36

Yes he sounds like a prick and going to his house is not a good idea. I don’t blame you for not wanting to under the circumstances at all.

However, given that he has now made that comment, I would make sure next time he calls you that DC is looked after. I assume by your parents?

By all means have an open office if you can manage, except for when he calls. If your parents are looking after DC and he knows this, then I can see why it couldn’t be seen as unprofessional.

I wouldn’t mind if I was your boss, however given he sounds like a prick, I would try to avoid it in future

Starcup · 28/05/2020 15:37

could be seen

Megan2018 · 28/05/2020 15:39

You should be using your childcare when you WFH just as you would in the office.

If you don’t have childcare at the moment that’s one thing, but if it is available you should use it.

My DH works from home permanently, when he is in his office (a bedroom) he is there on his own without interruption. When I return from mat leave DD will be in nursery if it’s open or we will split childcare.

Your boss is a twat but if you gave childcare you must use it as it is unprofessional to hear children. For most people right now it’s unavoidable but long term unacceptable.

WeAllHaveWings · 28/05/2020 15:42

@justgoingwithit

I appreciate still having a job in these trying times and having 'childcare' but my parents are key workers and work nights, always have, so I can't expect them to keep my child busy when they should be sleeping. Pre Covid, it worked out well because I do the school runs and get back to work. my child didn't mind hanging around for an hour or two for me to get home before my parents could leave for work
That is a big drip feed and a different situation from If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

Are you also giving your boss mixed messages?

Justaboy · 28/05/2020 15:43

Your boss is being an arse!, a LOT of people will be working from home as they can with modern communications do just that, what his reall worry is you won't be there for him to Lord it over you on the office!..

I phoned one company this week and in the background could hear a baby crying so i just said do you want to sort babe out then give me a ring back which she did and was appritcate of my paitence!

Then folowed a bit of a chat re babe and working from home its going the become a new norm now its been proved it can be done!

All that time and communting to the office, savings all round!!

And less CO2 now tell me thats a bad thing and unproffesional?..

Hingeandbracket · 28/05/2020 15:44

YANBU boss is a tosser end of.

Aridane · 28/05/2020 15:44

don't know if this is available where you are but libraries near me are opening soon and the larger ones often have people working in them.

@Sk1nnyB1tch

Can I ask where you are (roughly)? Have just started a thread asking when libraries are reopening !

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3922478-Re-opening-of-public-libraries

Aclh13 · 28/05/2020 15:45

Sign to a union immediately. Get advice and support and go from there, seems like he is massively crossing boundaries both sexually and by his expectations of you during lockdown. Good luck x

manitobajane · 28/05/2020 15:48

Ask him to show you his insurance certificate for employer's liability insurance - I'd put money on him not being able to produce it - before you even consider his suggestion and ask him who else will be working from his house.

trinity0097 · 28/05/2020 15:52

Your child will be back at school from Monday though so won’t be an issue for long.

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 15:52

She's not "looking after" her kid.

She is.

She's sharing cramped accommodation with her child.

The child has the rest of the house to be in and Op says childcare is not an issue so she clearly has somewhere else that her child can be.

Sk1nnyB1tch · 28/05/2020 15:53

@Aridane I'm sorry if I've got your hopes up. I'm in ROI and our phase 2 which includes opening libraries should be starting 8th June all going well.

countrygirl99 · 28/05/2020 15:54

Surely you just use earphones so you don't get domestic noises on calls. I learned that after colleagues said "yes please milk and no sugar" when my husband offered me a cup of tea.

Grumpylockeddownwoman · 28/05/2020 15:56

@ClaudiaWankleman I was referring to the fact that the OPs company have given notice on their lease - this is a permanent closure not a temporary measure.

MaternitySpongeBob · 28/05/2020 16:00

I can't believe some of the privilege being shown ignorantly at the moment.

I do hope this isn't what's to come - your employer insisting you WFH yet expecting you to have a pure professional space... Not everyone has the room. Literally. And family space cannot always be commandered for 1 person's employer! (Multiple workers in the same home, kids doing schoolwork, flatmates sharing space etc)

If an employment contract needs it, maybe they should pay for it e.g. renting single office desk space for employees who aren't rich enough to have spare studies and guest rooms..!