AIBU to think my boss is being unreasonable about hearing my kid in the background

[justgoingwithit]

I apologise in advance if a similar thread on here has already been done on this topic of WFH.

I'm actually annoyed by a comment my manager/boss made this morning.

Our company put in notice and moved out of the office space just after lockdown began. We will now be working from home indefinitely. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages but for me going to work was my chance to get out of the house. I'm a single mum and have a 5 year old and currently live with my parents to save enough for a deposit to buy a house. Its not the ideal situation but I'm trying to grin and bear with it for now.

I share a small cramped room with my child and have no space for a desk to properly work. Its not my house, its my parents' so rearranging their already small lounge for an office is not an option for me. I have been working from our bedroom and my daughter likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out and this isn't a problem for me. I tend to move away briefly when I have to make a work call with a client. When my boss calls I usually don't feel I have to do that because he too has kids and obviously knows I have one and don't have my own place currently. He passed a comment today that it wasn't professional that my kid could be heard in the background. I told him that when I speak to clients I always move away from her or at least ask her to be quiet before I get on the phone.

I'm sorry if this turning into a rant but even though I'm working from home, I won't ignore my child and shut her out for 8 hours. I'm actually angry that they shut the offices for good. My boss has a massive house and has said I should consider working from his house a few days in the week which I am not keen on because this married boss of mine has made several indecent gestures towards me (sexual harassment) but it was resolved (sort of) but still not comfortable going to his. I have stayed with this company for 4 years because I enjoy the work and the pay is so good. AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I'd also like to add that, despite this lockdown and no office space, I have gotten more contracts for the company since lockdown began and have been working as hard as I can.

Like everything in life, this is just another trade off. You work from home, but your child is there and you have to share a bedroom/office space. You can buy soundproof room divider curtains on Amazon. These work well when you don't have the luxury of putting up drywall but need a space which is quiet. Might work in your parents house?

I’ve worked from home for a long time. There is no world where it’s ok for your kid to hang out and disturb calls just because that’s what she wants to do. Entirely different if you have no other option but you should still do your best not to be disturbed.

How can your boss suggest you go to his home? Assuming you are in the U.K., this is against the lockdown rules.

There is no world where it’s ok for your kid to hang out and disturb calls just because that’s what she wants to do.

you literally reminded us of the current lockdown in the next paragraph!

I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I missed this. Then you’ve absolutely no excuse for having your daughter in your office during working hours.

My thought too. Although I do think his idea of you working from his house, considering the background, would be a mistake. If your parents are supposed to be looking after your DD, then she shouldn't be in the room with you while you're working. You've made the choice to stay with them to save up a house deposit. I'm sure its thought, but you need to live with the consequences of that choice. Hopefully, it won't be for too long.

thought =tough

You work from home, but your child is there and you have to share a bedroom/office space. You can buy soundproof room divider curtains on Amazon. These work well when you don't have the luxury of putting up drywall but need a space which is quiet. Might work in your parents house?

I would be prepared to do that if I was choosing to work from home but we are being told to work from home. The company are saving the money from not renting an office yet they are expecting us to make provision out of our own pockets to pay for the changes to our homes?

Employers are taking the piss. I was talking to somebody who works in a care home and they have been told they have to organise their own test because it is company policy that all employees are regularly tested. Where is she supposed to get the test from because on the government website it says it's only if you have symptoms and she can't be saying every fortnight that she has symptoms. Sorry Op...as you were.

I WFH permanently. Normally, if my kids are off sick I take leave because I can't work with them. Under current circumstances (before I was furloughed) I was absolutely expected to have my kids around. As my DH had to go in (sort of key worker but would have been taking the piss to send them to school) I had no childcare so was alone. I was not the only person who had them popping up on calls.

I think next time he suggests you work from his you should say 'I'm sure you understand why I feel that would not be appropriate'.

Under normal circumstances hearing children when wfh isn’t ok but these are not normal circumstances. It is widely acceptable in the current situation at my massive corporate company that children and animals sometimes get seen and heard. This should be a temporary situation and you can’t be expected to work from home indefinitely in an area that probably isn’t DSE compliant and isn’t a quiet, safe dedicated space, if you don’t have one he needs to provide one, and not in his house!

Our company have told normal office workers that they expect a phased return to the office from 1st September. Which I would imagine would coincide with many schools returning and child care being resumed.

My ten year old likes to pop in at the start of our weekly Zoom team meeting and say hi, as do several of my colleagues kids. We all wave and say hi and the little ones show off drawings or whatever and we all ooh and ahhh then the kids amble off so we can crack on. Colleagues without children often present their dogs for admiration.

Nobody has an issue with it, it helps the kids feel included so they're happier leaving us to get on with it when we need to get down to business. Everyone is in the same boat! We're all keyworkers so technically could send kids to school but nobody has opted to do that, to protect their households and the vulnerable people we visit.

In short, your boss is a knob.

As someone whose 6 year old comes and waves to everyone when I'm on video calls I think your boss is being unreasonable . What I don't have though is the luxury of a child in school and I am turning myself inside out trying to home school and deliver for my employer. Instead of focusing on a tiny thing your boss should be appreciate of the success you've had. Bet he has older kids or someone to look after them whenever he is on his important calls

I assume that your situation was assessed before the decision being made that you would be working from home. so if you'd had a complaint from a client about a child in your office causing a problem on a call, then I could understand him wanting to have a word with you.

However, this is nothing like what happened. I'd email him to ask him to email the details to you of the 'working from his house', because you'd like to give it more thought. Don't mention the issue of the child. Copy in his superior, or HR.

I suspect that's all you'll need to do to stop him bothering you.

And I'm not surprised you're feeling ranty.

I had a work online meeting the other day and two colleagues had children on their laps. Schools are closed, nursery's are closed the work is still getting done!

I'm frankly astonished at some of the attitudes of people on here.

1. The OP's boss (or his manager) unilaterally closed their place of work, depriving the OP and coworkers of an office space. If anyone is failing to live up to their contractual obligations, its the employer, not the OP.
2. It's not possible to get childcare at the moment. It may be the case that the OP's parents are willing to do some ad hoc childcare but its not something they can be expected to do on an ongoing basis and is not something the employer should be counting upon.
3. This bloke has previously tried to sexually harrass the OP and is probably lucky not to have been fired over it. Why on earth is his assessment of the best way for her to work being taken seriously? As long as she fulfils her contractual requirements, his views about how and where she should work should not be pandered to.
4. Absolutely everyone who is working from home now is doing so surrounded by children/dogs/parrots etc. The previous fastidiousness which companies had about "unprofessional" environments is a luxury which no-one can afford. Why is the OP expected to pander to an outdated idea of how she should conduct her professional life if the company isn't even facilitating it for her?

I agree with a previous poster. It makes me so angry that employees are being punished for the pandemic and the failure of the government and employees to properly support people at work in these incredibly difficult and stressful conditions.

If childcare isn't an issue for you & you could go to work, go to work. In your room, and have your parents (I assume that's your childcare) look after your child just as they would if you went to the office.

Let me put my case differently.

OP says she has childcare.

My DH has child care (me. I'm on maternity leave so can look after both kids).

DH has been forced to wfh, he would prefer to be in the office too.

He doesn't have DS or DD in the room while he's working. he uses the childcare he has available. The children know they can't disturb daddy when he is working, DH makes an effort to pop out for 10 mins in morning & afternoon and eats lunch with us.

I don't see why OP can't operate on the same basis.

I don't see why OP can't operate on the same basis.

Because children are children and sometimes they disturb people trying to

If a company shuts its offices and expects people to carry on at home then unless people live in a big house or live entirely alone there is going to be background noise.

Dd did an interview with someone who had got stuck in an area of the world where chickens and other livestock were wandering in the house.

You are in effect living in a studio flat/shared room with your dd.
Your manager is just going to have to get over it.

My children have made so many cameo appearances on work calls. If it’s a very important one the children are taken for a walk (by whichever one of us isn’t on the call), or sometimes plonked in front of a film. DH is upstairs right now on an important call and we are all curled up on the sofa. If it’s people who I work with daily we are much more chilled, often a child will appear on my lap, sit for a few minutes and then disappear, sometimes with the help of an iPad. But I am fortunate in working for/with really nice people!

Do you live near a reasonably big town? Any chance you can use your bosses comments as leverage to suggest they provide you with an allowance to rent a desk in in an office space as your home is too small for a separate workspace? There are a number of places that allow you to rent a desk or pay a membership fee for their office facilities near me?

Op this is a bit confusing, you said that child care wasn’t a problem for you, indicating your parents would do it, but now you’ve said you can’t expect them to as they work nights.

So who provides the child care?

This is different times. In normal times then you should have childcare in place and no children around. But these are different times. By their reactions our management have shown that it's OK for little ones to come and say hi. Generally they say hi and go away again. Once they get to 7 or 8 then yes they understand that parent is working and shouldn't be disturbed unless the house is on fire, but younger than that they are learning about the world and just want to see who mum is talking to. It would be different if the child came and sat on a parents knee or started screaming etc but a quick hello in these extraordinary times is fine.

I did a webinar today where my 9 year old popped his head around the door and asked me if I wanted an ice cream from the ice cream man and had forgotten I was on a webinar. I apologised immediately and everyone replied in the chat box how cute he was.

WFH often means DC are there. Admittedly it would be awful to have to work in the same room as them constantly but the occasional face in the background of a zoom call really isn't the end of the world. At all.

We have two team members with you kids and it's a pain to have to hear them in the morning check in. Fortunately we don't use video...I have absolutely no interest in anybody's offspring!

This isn’t really about what you have an interest in or what you find ‘a pain’.

People are being forced to wfh with no childcare. Wtf do you expect them to do, stick their children in a box so they don’t annoy you?

Other than those who WFH regularly, we are not "working from home". We are at our homes, during a crisis, trying to work. Expectations should be appropriate.

Take a look at IBM's work from home pledge (google it, easy to find), and direct your boss to:

I pledge to be kind. As I meet members of my extended work family, I’ll roll with it with empathy. It is totally fine if children make noise or jump on camera, or pets make an appearance or say hello – they’re family too!

Other than those who WFH regularly, we are not "working from home"

If you’re being paid your full salary, you’re working from home. Otherwise why are you not furloughed?