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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think my boss is being unreasonable about hearing my kid in the background

173 replies

justgoingwithit · 28/05/2020 13:05

I apologise in advance if a similar thread on here has already been done on this topic of WFH.

I'm actually annoyed by a comment my manager/boss made this morning.

Our company put in notice and moved out of the office space just after lockdown began. We will now be working from home indefinitely. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages but for me going to work was my chance to get out of the house. I'm a single mum and have a 5 year old and currently live with my parents to save enough for a deposit to buy a house. Its not the ideal situation but I'm trying to grin and bear with it for now.

I share a small cramped room with my child and have no space for a desk to properly work. Its not my house, its my parents' so rearranging their already small lounge for an office is not an option for me. I have been working from our bedroom and my daughter likes to hang out wherever I'm hanging out and this isn't a problem for me. I tend to move away briefly when I have to make a work call with a client. When my boss calls I usually don't feel I have to do that because he too has kids and obviously knows I have one and don't have my own place currently. He passed a comment today that it wasn't professional that my kid could be heard in the background. I told him that when I speak to clients I always move away from her or at least ask her to be quiet before I get on the phone.

I'm sorry if this turning into a rant but even though I'm working from home, I won't ignore my child and shut her out for 8 hours. I'm actually angry that they shut the offices for good. My boss has a massive house and has said I should consider working from his house a few days in the week which I am not keen on because this married boss of mine has made several indecent gestures towards me (sexual harassment) but it was resolved (sort of) but still not comfortable going to his. I have stayed with this company for 4 years because I enjoy the work and the pay is so good. AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I'd also like to add that, despite this lockdown and no office space, I have gotten more contracts for the company since lockdown began and have been working as hard as I can.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2020 14:16

It's a bit of an assumption that the OPs parents are willing and/or able to provide all day childcare

It’s really not as she’s already said it’s not a problem..

redwinefine · 28/05/2020 14:17

Your boss is a twat. You've made it clear that it wouldn't happen with clients. Even if it does, people understand that these are exceptional circumstances at the moment. Just try to forget about it. At the end of a meeting today, my baby started kicking off because it was 5 minutes after his lunch was due - my boss found it funny and joked to 'go and feed that wee woman!' Completely understandable that your child might be in the house at the moment! Don't let it get to you

123rd · 28/05/2020 14:20

I had to phone my bank yday and part of the recorded message was' our colleagues are working at home with their families and pets. You may hear some noise'
It's really not a big issue. As PP your boss is a twat

Daftodil · 28/05/2020 14:21

If your contract states you are office based, then he is unreasonable to expect you to have a home office. Your daughter is entitled to go into her bedroom.

If your contract states that you are home based, then you are unreasonable for not having a distinct separate work area.

In the current situation though, professional or not, it is very common to have children running in and out in the background or wanting to say hello, so he is a plonker for making an issue of it especially when he knows your circumstances.

If he isn't happy with it, perhaps you should be discussing furlough options.

FamBae · 28/05/2020 14:22

I'm afraid your just going to have to treat your boss as you would a client in future, yes its irking and I understand why you would be upset at the comment but don't brood on it, he's a prize knob.

changeitupagain · 28/05/2020 14:23

Technically, you have childcare and I think that in your scenario all calls should be treated as you are with clients.

^This. You have childcare, use it. He's right it is unprofessional, especially when you have an alternative option which you're refusing to use. If it's a case of your daughter wanting to be with you do what my cousin does.

Every morning he gets up before his DD and goes into the office and shuts the door. Then his wife carries on as if he was at work out of the house, like his DD thinks he is, and he doesn't get disturbed. Get up in the morning, get your daughter ready, leave her with your parents and go to work, go on a little walk so she see's you leave the house, then sneak back in and work all day uninterrupted, then come back at the end of the day.

rawlikesushi · 28/05/2020 14:26

"You are not the only one OP, and I am angry that the government is not making more of this."

What do you suggest?

CodenameVillanelle · 28/05/2020 14:30

If your parents are happy to look after her while you are working then that's what should be happening, at least for part of the day. You shouldn't have her in the bedroom with you if you have an alternative.

Chewbecca · 28/05/2020 14:32

I think you need to establish if this job is going to be permanently WFH or temporary.

I would suggest renting desk space, do you have any local flexible office spaces where you could rent a desk?

If WFH on a permanent basis and that's what the job now is, I think you need to look for a new role.

cdtaylornats · 28/05/2020 14:33

Would you take your child to your office?

Either you are at home or you are working from home.

ProsperTheBear · 28/05/2020 14:37

Would you take your child to your office?
presumably the child would be at school...

Alsohuman · 28/05/2020 14:38

If your parents would provide childcare if you were working elsewhere, why can’t they do it when you’re wfh?

Stompythedinosaur · 28/05/2020 14:40

I think your boss is massively overreacting. Hearing colleague's kids in the background of informal calls is totally normal at the moment.

SharkasticRhymes · 28/05/2020 14:43

I honestly think many posters are not seeing the critical elements of this:

a) this boss has sexually harased the OP in the past
b) now has found a reason to try and get her to work in his house (presumably she is the only employee he is insisting this to)

This has sod all to do with childcare, working from home, pandemics or anything else, imo.

cottonwoolbrain · 28/05/2020 14:43

My sister is a psychologist. Shes currently having to "see" most of her patients through zoom or phone them up. Shes got a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Her dp is also working from home so they have to shuffle child care between them. She was on to a patient the other day, her DP had gone to toilet and 5 year old picked up the landline downstairs and tried to join in conversation.. fortunately patient thought it was funny but sister was really upset...God alone knows what your boss would have said.

Children are at home. Except for key workers there is no alternative. Parents are doing their best but slip ups happen. Your boss needs to accept that. Its easy when you've got a huge house and a dedicated room but it must be a nightmare working from a bedroom you share with your child

Original poster

justgoingwithit · 28/05/2020 14:43

I appreciate still having a job in these trying times and having 'childcare' but my parents are key workers and work nights, always have, so I can't expect them to keep my child busy when they should be sleeping. Pre Covid, it worked out well because I do the school runs and get back to work. my child didn't mind hanging around for an hour or two for me to get home before my parents could leave for work

OP posts:

MitziK · 28/05/2020 14:46

Get up in the morning, get your daughter ready, leave her with your parents and go to work, go on a little walk so she see's you leave the house, then sneak back in and work all day uninterrupted, then come back at the end of the day

Just how big is your house?

If I were to try to 'sneak' into mine, I'd have to rappel down from a fucking helicopter.

If it were my previous place, I'd have been scaling the walls like fucking Spiderman. And the kids would still have seen me. Probably as the bedroom window came out as it didn't have an opening mechanism.

I'd also have needed, assuming an Invisibility Cloak were available and they had their ears and eyes surgically removed, a bloody big bucket with lid to use as a toilet. I don't think the neighbours would have appreciated a return to people whispering Gardez, l'eau as I chucked the contents out the third floor window, either.

theDudesmummy · 28/05/2020 14:48

Unless the content of the calls is inappropriate for a child to overhear, then your boss is being very unreasonable. I have had calls with banks, internet service companies and various companies in recent weeks in which I could clearly hear children in the background (and so could they hear my DS). We all understand, surely?

My work is not like that and my calls/Skypes etc absolutely cannot be allowed to be heard by anyone else, child or adult. So I am lucky my DH is here because otherwise I would not be able to work. (I have always WFH part of the time, but of course in normal times would schedule these calls for when DS is at school).

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 28/05/2020 14:52

If these were normal times then I think he'd have a right to expect you to have childcare in place during working hours. But these aren't normal times - schools are closed and if he's shut the office down then it's his fault you don't have somewhere quiet to work.
You didn't ask to WFH - this isn't a benefit to you. But it is to him, if he's freed himself from office costs. So, not your problem to fix imo.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/05/2020 14:52

YANBU. Even before lockdown in various countries, it wasn't too unusual to hear the children and dogs of wfh colleagues on internal calls from time to time.

There were no agreements to close offices, it just happened overnight. Preparation time was minimal and I don't think even the most cautious business planners expected it to last this long, let alone into the future.

My company was making contingency plans for wfh, expanding VPN capacity etc, well ahead of lockdowns being imposed.

emmathedilemma · 28/05/2020 14:56

I think anyone who complains about noise / contacts from kids while people are stuck working from home is living in some sort of unrealistic dream world! No matter how serious your job we're all human and faced with challenging circumstances at the moment.

NaughtyLittleElf · 28/05/2020 15:05

I work for the NHS wfh is a fundamental part of our business continuity planning, we have laptops, remote access etc. so in the event of severe weather, a building burning down etc. essential functions can continue off site. It's completely different to an agreed, planned change to all staff wfh. It's absolutely to be expected that there are kids and pets around and people working in less than ideal situations.

Goldenbear · 28/05/2020 15:06

Mitzikh, I'm glad someone else was thinking about the logistics of this- your post made me laugh out loud!

pooopypants · 28/05/2020 15:08

Your boss sounds skeevy and your post made my skin crawl.

Was the sexual harassment actually resolved or did it just get glossed over? Either way, I absolutely wouldn't be working from his home, sounds to me like he has wandering hands and he'd use that to your advantage (or worse)

Aridane · 28/05/2020 15:13

AIBU to think he's being unfair to expect me to have a quiet environment to work in when he decided to close office? This wouldn't have been the case if I had been in the office. If I had an office to work from, I would go as childcare isn't an issue for me.

I think YABU - work places change (and this now your new normal) but the require,ent for professionalism remains. No children or animals on work calls.

However I’m every other respect, your boss sounds an utter inappropriate creep who shouldn’t be let near a position of managing staff - and my sympathies

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