‘SIL’ didn’t get me a birthday card?

[jennywithaj]

I say SIL but it’s my brothers long term girlfriend.

I always buy her Christmas / birthday presents and cards but she never does back and all I ever get is a thanks over social media or a happy birthday over social media. This year was a special birthday for me and again she didn’t even get me so much as card and it’s really upset me. I’m not interested in gifts neither do I expect them but as I’ve done for her it would have been nice to have received even just a birthday card.

AIBU to be pissed off?

This is hilarious. So if you enter into a relationship with someone you’re supposed to buy extra cards and presents for all your partner’s family members? Better to stay single and save a lot money

And OP you'd love our family at Christmas. My sisters and I have not exchanged Christmas presents for 20 years. The children get gifts but not the adults.

My DH contacted his family last year and asked them if they felt that was a good idea. You could hear the sigh of relief over 400 miles away! So now both families just exchange Christmas cards. Presents for the kids - we've done 18 years old as the cut off. Each family then uses the money they saved to treat themselves (or keep in the bank). Rather than a lot of stress trying to find something for BIL or girlfriend of our nephew who only joined the family a few months ago.

My world hasn't ended yet though and we have the cash to create lovely memories at Christmas with our DC as we've not spent a stash of cash on gifts.

YABU! I have never in the 24 years we have been together sent a separate card for people’s birthday, that’s absurd! Your partner was at fault here, he should send a card from both of you

I have never heard of anyone doing how your family supposedly do birthday cards and gifts that’s just weird.

OP AIBU

MN YABU

OP No I'm not!

And repeat

most people don't operate like that in a relationship

Only two families in the entire world operate like this, OPs and her DHs. And those two people happened to meet and marry each other! What a coincidence hey.

Do you give separate Christmas cards also OP?

One for

Mum
Dad
Brother
Sister in law
Niece
Nephew
Cat
Dog
Each individual fish in the pond

YABU

Tell us more OP, do you and DH shop for your brothers gifts together? If not, do you discuss it? What happens if you get the same thing? Or if DH buys a better gift than you. Do you drop them off together? Or if you post them, do you send them in the same box together?

Are your parents still together and if so does your mum send you a card and your dad sends you a separate card?

If the answer is yes you're all bonkers btw.

So... does everybody you know receive two christmas cards from your household too? One from you and one from your husband? Or are the rules mysteriously different at christmas?

This is one of the most bonkers things I've ever read on here, and that's saying something!

Weird. One present and/ or card here too. Even if it says brother Or mum, I will sign it from my dh and kids. F

I would never get my sil or bil anything for bday or Xmas 🤷 that's for my husband to sort out. Same as my family wouldn't expect anything off my husband

Normally I would say-yes - but because of coronavirus it's a bit awkward having to leave things for 1-3 days.

From now on do not buy her anything or even acknowledge anything to do with her. Let her know how it feels. Then treat yourself to some online shopping 🥰

This is very strange.

However in my family we always put the spouses names on mothers day cards and I know that is weird to other people.

However, I accept the above is out of the norm, whereas you seem insistent that it isn't by continually mentioning everyone around you does. I have never heard of anyone doing this unless they live apart. Once we moved in together all birthday, christmas presents became joint and we just spent a little more

From now on do not buy her anything or even acknowledge anything to do with her

Yes do this, go no contact, becAuse that’s just the same thing, 🤣

I don’t believe for a moment this is the way both the op and her husband have been brought up, it’s so weird what are the odds of two people growing up like this and then meeting and marrying...🤣

Suspect the op realised early on she was unreasonable so instead of just saying , yeah ok, she’s come up with this elaborate family tradition that and and her husband grew up with and then pretended she thought it was normal

Your sil is the sane, normal one. The rest, you and your family are weird.

NO ONE DOES THIS !

Your poor sil she must roll her eyes alot.

Including everyone I know personally, my friends and their family’s and my partners family

All your friends and their families do it too? 😂

I don't send cards to my daughters or sons in law and they don't send them to me or my husband except this year is a special one for him so i will remind them to send a card, preferable hand made

YABU.

Don't get her anything in future she's not worth wasting your money on.

Is that 'special birthday' to you 13 by chance?

Grow the F**k up!

In laws can be passive aggressive weirdos! My MIL texted my husband happy anniversary and not me?! WTAF?!

DH and I are only children so not a problem for us.

I would not keep on buying gifts/cards I would wish her a happy birthday on social media from now on.

Shes very rude. Dont buy her anything again its not necessary. Your brother could have put her name on the card. Thats odd

I would expect a card or present from both of them because they are a couple. It is weird to expect anything separate.