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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what the shittest sex you ever had is?

388 replies

Magicra84 · 24/05/2020 14:39

Saw someone who absolutely insisted he wanted a proper relationship and not just FWB but the few times I saw him which led to sex he left within ten mins of sex ending. Sex was shit too. Three thrusts and he was done. Rubbish! As he was very good looking I hoped it would get better. I didn't give it chance to after he left immediately after twice.

OP posts:

velourvoyageur · 25/05/2020 10:25

Pickle
There are a few male posters who repeatedly moan on here that their wives are unenthusiastic and just lie back passively during sex, and decide that they must just be boring passionless creatures. Nothing to do with the fact that their wives just don’t fancy them of course and that they’d be different with another partner. No recognition of the idea that if someone is clearly not enjoying sex, that they should stop bloody trying it on with them. Or that being asexual, if they genuinely are, isn’t something to shame anyone for.

thenightsky · 25/05/2020 10:25

One thing I really used to hate was when I was teenager boys were obsessed with sucking your ear. I don’t know if this still goes on or it was a 90’s thing

Oh god, I'd forgotten that ear sucking thing. I can confirm it wasn't just a 90s thing, it was also a 70s and 80s thing too. I do think it is a teenage boy thing though.

bevelino · 25/05/2020 10:26

This thread is absolutely hilarious 😂

userabcname · 25/05/2020 10:27

@picklemewalnuts there are threads on reddit about it. I've not read loads but of the ones I did read, it seemed to be stories of women asking for something the man wasn't comfortable doing, women who lay there silently and still, a few drunk being sick during the deed tales and not being able to get it up even though they really wanted to.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 25/05/2020 10:28

Dp recently went down the quick nipple tweak, obligatory oral for a minute then hopped on and vacantly pumped away..........he got told sharpish I'm not here to be used as a wank sock and not to bother.

Life's far too short to put up with crap sex. It really is.

We're back to decent sex with the effort put in to make sure we both bleddy enjoy it.

notanothernewlife · 25/05/2020 10:35

And yes, obviously it’s not a guy’s fault if it’s tiny and you’ve got to feel sorry for them. But the thread is asking us to describe shit sex, it’s not meant to be a support group for men with tiny dicks

But you don't have to reply though do you? This isn't you privately confiding in friends, it's a public forum, that anyone can read, include people you are deriding. If it was a thread asking people to describe how ugly and unshaggable they find disabled women or black women or Irish women, would you think it was acceptable for people to make lots of posts about how ugly these women are 'because that was what the post asked and its not a support group for disabled/ black/Irish women'. No, you wouldn't. You would think anyone who answered was a fucking arsehole of the highest order.

picklemewalnuts · 25/05/2020 10:35

Depressing. So depressing.

Tulipstulips · 25/05/2020 10:42

We’re being asked to describe sex we didn’t enjoy. If a bloke said the sex was crap because the woman was black, he’d be a racist scumbag. If he said he hadn’t enjoyed it because she had a huge vagina - well, I’d feel sorry for the woman but I wouldn’t think he was unreasonable not to enjoy it.

Tulipstulips · 25/05/2020 10:44

In other words, it’s a false dichotomy,

In my case, I’ve been to bed with a couple of blokes with small penises, and the one that I mentioned above was shit because he kept pulling out and sticking his fingers in, instead.

Buffysaurus · 25/05/2020 10:46

Name changed for this because a couple of real life friends know this story.
Worst sex?
He went on Facebook. During.
It was a one-nighter and already clearly awful. Just wanted to get him done and gone.
He was going at it from behind. I looked behind me and saw he had his phone out. I thought 'oh shit, he's filming' but then took a closer look. And no. Guy's scrolling through Facebook, kind of flipping his thumb up the screen with every thrust.
There was other stuff with him too, but that was the most bizarre.
Last one night stand I had. It was the kind of sex so bad that I woke up in the morning and realised I needed to make some changes. 🤣

Wilberforce1 · 25/05/2020 10:47

One of my ex's was an Italian guy who properly loved himself but had a penis like a pencil, it was just long and thin and he used to ram it in and out so it just felt like I was being constantly poked! Awful and to make it worse he seemed to think he was some kind of god in bed! We only lasted 6 months.

notanothernewlife · 25/05/2020 10:51

In other words, it’s a false dichotomy

No, it's really not. It's not o.k. to publicly decry people as shit shags because of a physical feature they have no control over. It is just not necessary to say that about someone. Nothing constructive comes from it and it hurts real people in the real world. It's nasty, its spiteful and its cruel and your attempts to portray it as some sort of objective data information gathering exercise is pathetic.

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 25/05/2020 10:51

We were having a snog mid shag and what felt like a tidal wave of his saliva washed into my mouth. It made me retch. It was utterly disgusting.

Buffysaurus · 25/05/2020 10:53

I agree with the posters about small penis shaming. I've had some fab sex with men with micro penises. If the sex is bad, the problem is the man the penis is attached to, not the penis itself.

notanothernewlife · 25/05/2020 10:54

And I didn't compare to a thread saying black women were bad in bed, I said comparing it to a thread saying they were ugly. Is it okay to have a thread saying disabled and black women are ugly? No, its not. Because you can instinctively tell that it is unnecessary and will hurt people. Even if they really genuinely think that.

Tulipstulips · 25/05/2020 10:57

I’m not trying to portray it as data gathering. I’m saying it’s a discussion thread, about shit sex. I don’t suppose the OP is trying to write a thesis and this is her research.

Anyway, I really don’t agree that race is a valid comparison to having a little cock, and I think your attempts to centre the feelings of men yet again in a discussion that is primarily about women’s experiences is pathetic.

Alittleshortforaspacepooper · 25/05/2020 10:59

It was a mistake to read this thread whilst eating. I'll leave you ladies to it and pop back later once my m&ms have fully digested...

Coldilox · 25/05/2020 10:59

I had a lot of sex with men before I was ready to admit I was gay. I was desperate to prove to myself that I could connect with a man. All of it was shit. Big dicks, little dicks, marathoners, sprinters, whatever. Never enjoyed it, never experienced an orgasm. Then at 21 I came out and suddenly learned that I could enjoy sex. I went from never having had an orgasm to having them regularly, and since I met my wife 17 I’m years ago it’s every single time. Usually more than once.

I’m not convinced that there is such a thing as good in bed and bad in bed, I think it’s about chemistry and comparability.

MoMagic · 25/05/2020 10:59

An ex of mine who I dated for just over a year. It started off amazing but looking back, I can see it was all an act on his part. He made me feel so sexy and like I was the only woman on earth. He spent a lot of time satisfying me and I thought I’d hit the jackpot. Turns out, he was obsessed with hardcore porn and was using hook up sites. Sometimes he was meeting 3/4 women a week for sex. He started asking for more and more extreme stuff in bed and talking dirty to me all the time. I broke up with him because he kept calling me whore and cunt in bed. Only found out about all the other stuff after we’d broken up!

Found out through mutual friends that he got married and had two dc but she left him last year after discovering he was on multiple hook up sites. He won’t ever change, he has issues.

Coldilox · 25/05/2020 10:59

*compatability

chocolatebuttons1 · 25/05/2020 11:03

The worst time didn't even get to sex. We were kissing and he somehow ejaculated in his pants with no touching at all.

elbanabanana · 25/05/2020 11:03

A guy I fancied loads who talked a REALLY good talk but had the most disappointing penis. My worst ever shag. He's also dead now, which makes it weird to remember.

notanothernewlife · 25/05/2020 11:05

and I think your attempts to centre the feelings of men yet again in a discussion that is primarily about women’s experiences is pathetic

Oh don't pull that crap with me. Seriously, you are trying to make women laughing at men with small penis' a feminist issue? That is laughable. You've jumped the shark there, sister.

I really don’t agree that race is a valid comparison to having a little cock That's because you are missing the point. Somewhat obviously, I'm not comparing race to penis size, indeed that should have been clear from the other examples I gave. I am comparing, as I have said repeatedly and you are ignoring, slagging someone for a physical feature they cannot help to slagging someone for a physical feature they cannot help.

Louise000000 · 25/05/2020 11:09

Sex in the shower and after the guy dried himself and I noticed he left a skid mark on his towel mood killer

elbanabanana · 25/05/2020 11:10

I wouldn't have minded micro penis guy if he had other tricks up his sleeve. He didn't.

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