AIBU- MIL!!

[Needsomehope]

Looking for some perspective!

I have a newborn. MIL lives next door, and DH works with DFIL etc so for the purposes of lockdown we are ‘one household’ (decision made by my DH I wouldn’t of said we are but hey ho!)

Last night I lost it with MIL who keeps walking into our house unannounced. She will chap the door, and then if I don’t answer, she comes in and starts shouting ‘hello hello’.

The first couple of times I was annoyed but let it go and DH asked her to text me if she was planning on coming round as one of the times she work our baby that I had just spent an hour settling to sleep.

She did this again yesderday, turning up, unannounced, chapping the door that I ignored, and then walked straight in through our kitchen and through our house, shouting ‘hello hello’ again waking our baby up, just when I needed her to nap so I could make supper. I was visibly angry with her and was very short, she left very quickly when i made it obvious she was bothering us at a bad time.

Since having our baby she has made zero effort to help us out with any housework, cooking, gardening or even asked how I am. We don’t really have a relationship (positive or negative) but this is now swinging it towards a negative one.

AIBU that I should expect a text before coming round? Or that if I don’t answer the door she shouldn’t come in?

Should I expect more from her?

But then again I'm from north east and its true family just knock and walk in lol

@Winterwoollies I think you forget that this is an international webboard, not everyone lives in the UK (btw is that what or who 'Home Counties' is?) I read and re-read a few of the posts and I genuinely could not figure it out, even via context it still made no sense. I would say having an air of superiority is assuming everyone is in the UK. Some are in Australia, America, New Zealand, Canada, Italy, and France for e.g, I think it is rude to assume people from those countries aren't on here and this site is solely for UKers. A bit of consideration doesn't go astray.

@Timekeeper1

This is from @Needsomehope original post:

Last night I lost it with MIL who keeps walking into our house unannounced. She will chap the door, and then if I don’t answer, she comes in and starts shouting ‘hello hello’.

You’re telling me that people are unable to figure out from this what chapping might mean? Don’t be daft.

@Timekeeper1 also you’ve assumed I’m from the UK...

Is it their house?
Still lock the door though

It’s extremely irritating when parents on either side (not just in laws!!) decide that their daughter or daughter in laws are just incubators. 0 interest in you before, never visiting but very happy to come daily or several times a day to see your offspring.

I wouldn’t be able to help myself - your husband supposedly told her but I wouldn’t rely on this. I would be straight with her “stop coming in my house uninvited. You have woken up by baby several times. It’s inconvenient.”

Fuck that shit

Why in the hell would you live next door to your mother in law

I'm going to make a guess that dh and fil are farmers and both houses are on the farm. So they can't move and of course live close to in laws.

I think locking the door is your best option if she isn't listening to you or DH.

It's not unreasonable to ask for a text before coming round - and waiting for an answer as to whether its a good time.

@Winterwoollies I was talking more about 'messages' and 'clapping the dog'.

And no, I didn't assume you were in the UK. I wasn't the one making assumptions.