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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know the name of the guy I'm dating?

187 replies

Troubledinparadise1 · 20/05/2020 07:09

This will probably all sound a bit strange!

I've been dating a man for a couple of months but I don't actually know his name and now we're too far in for me to ask him! We met at a mutual friend's party and my friend introduced me to him. She told me his name but it isn't an an English name or one that I've heard before so I only caught the general sound of it, rather than the actual name itself.

We've been going on dates for a couple of months now and it's too late for me to ask him his name. I can't ask my friend his name because she'll also think it's very odd that we've been dating for 2 months and I don't know.

I've been avoiding calling him by his name when together and I'm not sure how I can find this out!

Anyone else been in a situation like this?

OP posts:
LetTheSecretOut · 20/05/2020 11:26

I would go with the suggestion above. A phone update erased all your numbers, who is this?

The80sweregreat · 20/05/2020 11:30

Get him to write it down for you then you can let us know what it is and someone will be able to tell you how to pronounce it!

Bubbletrouble43 · 20/05/2020 11:34

Tell him your Internet will be down so he needs to ring you on your land-line. When you answer ask who's speaking and say you didn't recognise his voice, he sounded different etc 😁

NoRoomInBed · 20/05/2020 11:39

Say your sending him something so need his name an address so you spell it right. Then send something small or mabye it gets lost in the post

SoupDragon · 20/05/2020 11:43

Virtual dating' is hardly 'going on dates' SoupDragon

If you say so. Not sure why it bothers you so much. The OP thinks it's going on a date, the person she is dating thinks it is going on a date...

I'm not sure why you (and others) felt the need to be snarky about the terminology when it is totally irrelevant to the OP's dilemma.

FlamingoAndJohn · 20/05/2020 12:08

I think asking him how to spell it is a good option.
Or ask him to confirm the pronunciation.

StarUtopia · 20/05/2020 12:10

Just ask him, and say, sorry how do you actually spell your name? Its unusual, I love it etc etc.

ripples101 · 20/05/2020 12:14

Ask him what his name is.

When he tells you, say, sorry I meant your middle name!!!

PanicOnTheStreets85 · 20/05/2020 12:18

Start a conversation about how you dislike your name, think it's too common or something. 9 times out of 10 people will then start talking about whether they like their name or not. I've been in this situation a fair few times as I'm terrible with names (although only with acquaintances rather than a BF).

Alternatively, as pp have suggested say you want to send him something via email (a cute picture?) as most people have their names in their email addresses.

DianaT1969 · 20/05/2020 12:20

Do some kind of interactive quiz or game with him online where he has to put his name in.

Emelene · 20/05/2020 12:20

Good luck OP! Grin

Sparklesocks · 20/05/2020 12:27

Surely his name comes up on WhatsApp (if you delete him from your contacts?) normally it looks like

+44 1234 56789
~ NAME

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 20/05/2020 12:27

I hope op isn't dating my cousin. If he were to email her, it would come up as "son of the anti-christ"
(he has a very english name. And is not dating)

Igotta · 20/05/2020 12:41

Ask your friend, she won't think it weird as you've only met him once.

StatementKnickers · 20/05/2020 12:46

Ask him for his email address so you can send him a link to an article, book or whatever that you think he'll like?

Then send him the link to this thread Grin

CeibaTree · 20/05/2020 12:53

Just ask your friend how to spell it?

RhymesWithOrange · 20/05/2020 13:27

Sorry but this is hilarious 😆

BobGalaxy · 20/05/2020 13:30

Surely it's less embarrassing to ask your friend than him at this stage!

DatsunCogs · 20/05/2020 13:59

This happened to me, sort of. Found out his proper name by seeing an envelope on his bedside table. We're now married...

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 20/05/2020 18:07

🙈 not judging because this is the sort of situation I would get myself into.

Ask your friend either point blank or in more roundabout way. Is you friend aware you're dating if not then the line of questioning might be a bit simpler

Elledouble · 20/05/2020 18:31

I had a FWB whose name I didn’t know once. We hooked up when I was quite drunk and by morning had forgotten what he was called. Probably that would have been the least awkward time to ask but I didn’t and he was “Joe??” in my phone until I broke it off Wink

waggydog21 · 20/05/2020 18:34

Can you suggest you use zoom? He’ll have to use his name as a username..!

FenellaMaxwell · 20/05/2020 18:35

At uni, we had a flatmate none of us knew the name of for a whole year. We were sure it was either Katie or Karen, but it was too awkward to ask. Turned out to be Vicky. Blush

2toe · 20/05/2020 18:36

This happened to me about 25 years ago! I ended up calling him a pet name which was ridiculous. It ended when he introduced me to his friends, someone said “do you want a drink xxxx” I was so bloody relieved but had to keep calling him the pet name because how could I explain why I wasn’t calling him that anymore Grin
We broke up a few weeks after I found out his name!
If his name is unusual ask how its spelled or how to pronounce it correctly.

begoniapot · 20/05/2020 18:47

I've worked with people for months and not known their names. I just cant remember names. You need to be sneaky somehow, to find out the name.