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Original poster

To not know the name of the guy I'm dating?

187 replies

Troubledinparadise1 · 20/05/2020 07:09

This will probably all sound a bit strange!

I've been dating a man for a couple of months but I don't actually know his name and now we're too far in for me to ask him! We met at a mutual friend's party and my friend introduced me to him. She told me his name but it isn't an an English name or one that I've heard before so I only caught the general sound of it, rather than the actual name itself.

We've been going on dates for a couple of months now and it's too late for me to ask him his name. I can't ask my friend his name because she'll also think it's very odd that we've been dating for 2 months and I don't know.

I've been avoiding calling him by his name when together and I'm not sure how I can find this out!

Anyone else been in a situation like this?

OP posts:
pictish · 20/05/2020 07:32

Ask him, “sorry....what’s your name again?”, and when he looks at you in disbelief and says, “Steve!” (or equivalent), reply, “yes I know that (haha)...I meant your surname?’

Works for those times when you know you should know...but you don’t.

Fallsballs · 20/05/2020 07:33

I’m not thinking communication is your strong point op ?

DurhamDurham · 20/05/2020 07:35

You must have his details stored on your phone?
Beyond strange.

plunkplunkfizz · 20/05/2020 07:35

After lockdown, do an activity where you might find out. Something where you have to sign in or out your name on something.

Or ask what name he’d prefer if he could choose. He will say “I’d be Bobby Thunder” and you can say “Why Bobby Thunder?” And he will say “It’s mor exciting than Juan Martinez” or whatever his name is. Then Bob’s your uncle.

plunkplunkfizz · 20/05/2020 07:35

Or see what he has called himself on WhatsApp.

pictish · 20/05/2020 07:36

Yes what’s he in your phone under?

Redred2429 · 20/05/2020 07:38

Ask him by text how he spells his name x

TwistyHair · 20/05/2020 07:40

Oh my god that’s hilarious! Really awkward for you though. You’re going to have to ask your friend. And swear her to secrecy.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 20/05/2020 07:41

Start a conversation about names. Tell him you had never heard his name before and ask him about it. Ask him if people often spell it wrongly or pronounce it wrongly, ask him if there's a diminutive that he likes...

dellacucina · 20/05/2020 07:41

Also curious as to what name comes up in Facetime

thepeopleversuswork · 20/05/2020 07:41

I actually have been in this situation. Except I hadn't met the guy at that point. Had a long online courtship (which ultimately petered out).

At one point we had been messaging for over six weeks and I realised I didn't know his proper name.

I figured it out eventually via cyber-stalking.

I think you actually can turn it into a joke and style it out though. If its meant to be you will laugh at it in years to come.

VettiyaIruken · 20/05/2020 07:48

It's so simple to sort out. As pp have said, just text him and ask him how he spells his name.

TryingToBeBold · 20/05/2020 07:49

Facetime
WhatsApp.
Linked In?

This is funny..
What do you call him in person.. surely its early in the relationship to start every sentence with "babe" Grin

Pleasenodont · 20/05/2020 07:52

Quite funny OP.

To the PP’s asking her to find his social media, she doesn’t know his name!

I’d personally ask him how it’s spelt, say something along the lines of ‘your name is very different, I’ve never heard it before, how do you spell it?’.

mummmy2017 · 20/05/2020 07:58

Asking for his full name and address, so you can send him a gift.
Ask if he can write it down.

DarylDixonsHair · 20/05/2020 08:02

I did this! For 2 months I didn't know ex dps name. He wasn't on social media, he was self employed (not UK), we never swapped numbers as we met on a tiny island and we didn't have any mutual friends to ask!

Thankfully he refered to himself in the third person eventually. Does your bf like to give long and boring monologues about himself? He may say it eventually!

Mumteedum · 20/05/2020 08:03

Haha... This happened to a friend of mine. I think they split up and not sure she ever knew Grin

Sparklingplasters · 20/05/2020 08:05

I had this, a guy met me whilst he was drunk, he really liked me, got my number but forgot my name, a few dates later he asked for my email address.... took me ages to work it out and he was sheepish when I guessed. So ask him for his email or ask your original friend, who introduced you?

MrsMGE · 20/05/2020 08:09

Ask your friend how to spell his name, say you're unsure and don't want to upset him with making a mistake and it's an awkward situation for you. I'm sure she'll help you out.

Assuming this is not a wind up, that is!

runninguphills · 20/05/2020 08:09

Where does he work? Can you Google the company - his name might be in there.

leolion81 · 20/05/2020 08:14

We've been going on dates is a strange way to describe a FaceTime call.

pawsies · 20/05/2020 08:16

Text your friend hey guess who just got me some flowers?

Hopefully she'll assume it's him and reply with his name 😂

plunkplunkfizz · 20/05/2020 08:16

How else would you date during the pandemic? Or should she just shut up shop and say “see you in 3-6 months, maybe longer”?

ITonyah · 20/05/2020 08:17

I very much doubt anyone real has ever been in this situation, no.

Laiste · 20/05/2020 08:18

''We've been going on dates for a couple of months now and it's too late for me to ask him his name.''

''We met up before lockdown started and have been doing facetime dates since''

Call me old fashioned but ''going on dates for a couple of months'' is a different kettle of fish to some chats on facetime.

If it's the facetime bit which is the truth I'd say it'd still be fine to just say - actually what's your name?

If you've actually been meeting him for a couple of months i'd just ask him for the proper spelling for [any reason].