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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know the name of the guy I'm dating?

187 replies

Troubledinparadise1 · 20/05/2020 07:09

This will probably all sound a bit strange!

I've been dating a man for a couple of months but I don't actually know his name and now we're too far in for me to ask him! We met at a mutual friend's party and my friend introduced me to him. She told me his name but it isn't an an English name or one that I've heard before so I only caught the general sound of it, rather than the actual name itself.

We've been going on dates for a couple of months now and it's too late for me to ask him his name. I can't ask my friend his name because she'll also think it's very odd that we've been dating for 2 months and I don't know.

I've been avoiding calling him by his name when together and I'm not sure how I can find this out!

Anyone else been in a situation like this?

OP posts:
MinkowskisButterfly · 20/05/2020 09:19

I'm sorry but that is so funny Grin

Likethebattle · 20/05/2020 09:35

Kind of happened to a friend of mine. She met a guy on a night out and he asked her out (this was about 15 years ago). She gave him her number. He texted her and she was trying to put it in her phone and realised she didn’t know his name...we came up with all sorts of ways to find out on the date (pre social media and WhatsApp)

viewfromthecouch · 20/05/2020 09:38

Hilarious. Happens in a lot of social situations, but dating him online for 2 months! Grin

You're going to have to fess up to someone to get it. Or ask for someone to spell all his names for you because you wanted to look him up on social media.

maddy68 · 20/05/2020 09:40

Ask him to write it as you want to see how it's written as you don't know how to spell it 😂

CrunchyCarrot · 20/05/2020 09:41

Just think, it'll be much worse several years from now when you are going to get married or civil partnered and you still don't know it! Grin

AgathaX · 20/05/2020 09:41

Just ask him again how to pronounce it. Say you're not sure you've got it right so can he just tell you again. Then ask him to spell it and write it down.

Sparklingbrook · 20/05/2020 09:42

He says he doesn’t do social media and can’t send you a friend request, maybe he just doesn’t want you looking at it?

AcatcalledCat · 20/05/2020 09:44

This made me giggle. My husband has a Gaelic name and we met in a club so it was a bit loud to hear how to pronounce it. For weeks into dating I had no idea how to say it and it wasn’t until he was referring to himself in a story that I learned! We laugh about it now Grin Just ask someone or hope it comes up in conversation!

CandyLeBonBon · 20/05/2020 09:47

😂

Angliski · 20/05/2020 09:49

Hang on, surely you can just ask your friend??

pigsDOfly · 20/05/2020 09:51

Well you've either been 'going on dates' or you've been face timing during lockdown. You don't sound sure which it is.

Sounds like you don't know your 'friend' very well either if you can't ask her a question as simple as 'what is this guy's name?'

catlovingdoctor · 20/05/2020 09:54

As his name is foreign ask what it means in his native language ?

Bluesheep8 · 20/05/2020 09:57

Sorry but this is absolutely bonkers. Just ask the friend who introduced you to correctly pronounce it.

CovidicusRex · 20/05/2020 09:57

I was in this situation. Apparently we both weren’t sure what the other was called. He asked to see my passport (I’m foreign so he framed it as wanting to see what our passports were like). I checked his mail. However we both go by nicknames which aren’t obvious so we kept getting confused. It turned out alright at any rate. We’re married now.

MashedSpud · 20/05/2020 10:04

Text your friend and say you’re thinking about getting him something personalised but don’t want to spell his name wrong.

Nameisthegame · 20/05/2020 10:46

Had the same thing dated a guy for 4 months without knowing his name, you could ask him how do you spell your name so you have it correctly in your contact list. Or wait it out until you meet up and get someone to ask him or introduce himself...

Nameisthegame · 20/05/2020 10:47

Ask what his name means in his language.

MeganBacon · 20/05/2020 10:55

Ask him if he's ever had a nickname, then develop the conversation about names. You're stuffed if he says no though.

itsaweddingone · 20/05/2020 11:00

Delete his number and then next time he WhatsApps you his display name will come up.

Awkwardbananas · 20/05/2020 11:07

Don’t worry, as a very socially awkward person myself I am an expert in these situations by now. Here’s what you do:

  1. TEXT him (so you have it in writing) “how do you spell your name again?”.
  2. If he asks why you can tell him you’re writing him a card or something.
  3. Once you have the name, type into google “how do you pronounce .......” and there’s a little recording you can play.
SoupDragon · 20/05/2020 11:10

Well you've either been 'going on dates' or you've been face timing during lockdown. You don't sound sure which it is.

🙄 how do you think dating has been working in lockdown? It's called "virtual dating".

hellsbellsmelons · 20/05/2020 11:14

Just ask your friend.
Mine would be laughing at me but would certainly tell me.
Weird friendship if you can't ask and laugh about it!?

RuffleCrow · 20/05/2020 11:15

Wait til he asks you to marry him, then track down the shop he bought the ring in. Go in, make a tit of yourself trying to get his name from the shop assistant. When she makes it clear she thinks you're up to something dodgy, go outside and google the shop. Hopefully he'l have left a review - then bingo - you'll have his name! Grin

roseapothecary · 20/05/2020 11:19

This happened to a friend of mine. She eventually found out when she saw a letter at his house after they had been dating a few months. She told him a couple of years later and he found it really funny. They are married with 2 kids now.
You could ask him how to spell his name if its unusual? Or ask your friend.

pigsDOfly · 20/05/2020 11:22

'Virtual dating' is hardly 'going on dates' SoupDragon, it's sitting in your house and pretending to be on a date.

No one's actually going anywhere on a virtual date.

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