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To start webcam modelling even though I have radical feminist views?
206

h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:23

So in the past when I needed money I would do webcam modelling/camshows/whatever you want to call it. I could make decent money from it and also get items bought for me from my Amazon wishlist. During the time I would become really uncomfortable with it, disturbed and disgusted by the men etc, I would feel so sick and empty after a while.

I'm a radical feminist and don't believe things should be like this whatsoever but my hours were recently cut at work and I simply need the money, the times in the past were due to being desperate for money for rent, food, bills and necessities. It makes more money than any job I can do, at my job I get £8.71 per hour but an hour of cam modelling can make hundreds on a good day plus collecting fans which gives the opportunity of additional money and gifts.

It's going to make me feel like shit, also I feel like I'm letting women down by choosing to be part of this and to serve men who are disgusting people. But at the same time I need money for me and my kid. I just wonder if it's unethical from a feminist point of view to do this.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

SunflowerSeedsForever · 18/05/2020 18:26

Lots of threads bout this in the past. Prime hairy hand stuff


Your 16 year old son comes home from school and says his mates are watching a video of you on a porn site. Its all around the school.

Happy with that- go ahead
Not happy- dont.

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araiwa · 18/05/2020 18:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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SharpieInThe · 18/05/2020 18:29

Did ye, aye?

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h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:30

Not sure how it's relevant that there have been a lot of threads about it, webcam modelling is very popular and widespread. My daughter isn't school aged yet so I'm not really concerned about that, I am concerned for other reasons though

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MarylandMayhem · 18/05/2020 18:30

If you're happy for family members, friends, work colleagues etc to see naked pics and/ or videos of you then go ahead.

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h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:31

I do have principles and I'm not happy to be in this situation, I feel very desperate, last week I only got given 24 hours, 1.5 of which was unpaid

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Thighmageddon · 18/05/2020 18:32

I'd rather claim whatever benefits I could and budget, sell stuff on eBay than do something that feels so abhorrent to me.

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SunflowerSeedsForever · 18/05/2020 18:32

My daughter isn't school aged yet so I'm not really concerned about that, I am concerned for other reasons though

The images stay forever though, probably on line for 20 plus years. So her boyfriend finds them? or she does?

Are you happy with that?

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TheFuckingDogs · 18/05/2020 18:32

I’m gonna go against the grain and say if you can then do - feminism has always been about choice.

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ViciousJackdaw · 18/05/2020 18:32

Modelling? What will you be modelling?

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Ohtherewearethen · 18/05/2020 18:32

You seem to care more about being seen as not-quite-the-radical-feminist you say you are than the fact that it makes you feel like utter shit.
Everything we put online leaves a footprint. If you're happy with that, and can live with the feelings of repulsion then go for it.

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KaronAVyrus · 18/05/2020 18:32

There no money in it. The internet is awash with free porn so no one is going to be paying for it.

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recycledteenager24 · 18/05/2020 18:34

plenty of people manage to get by without resorting to this stuff.

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Batshittery · 18/05/2020 18:34

You obviously don't have radical feminist views Confused
I couldn't care less what people choose to do but don't make pathetic excuses for it. If it would make you feel shit - then don't do it.

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h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:37

I do have radical feminist views, I just feel extremely desperate and it's a way I know I make money, I don't even know how many hours I am getting this week, I wasn't needed today at work so that's yet another days money missed and I have no idea what to do

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SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 18/05/2020 18:38

Whatever you decide, you are absolutely not letting other women down. Remember things like the power imbalance in society, the men who use the services are the ones who need to perform a moral examination.
I can totally understand the soul searching, this must be a really hard situation to be in.
My suggestion would be, only for your wellbeing, can you consider any alternatives?
Rent or mortgage holiday
Council hardship fund
Other part time work
Sell stuff on eBay
I don’t know anything about cam work , but if you do decide to go ahead please be as safe as possible.
Remember no matter whatever you do or don’t do, no one can ever take away what you are or the fact that you are a perfect human being exactly as you are. Your human dignity is incorruptible and is yours just through your being. No matter what you do or don’t do.
A huge hug to you. Never worry about letting down other women - it’s impossible.

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Newbie1999 · 18/05/2020 18:38

Out of interest, do you show your face? What exactly does it involve?

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emz771 · 18/05/2020 18:38

I hate to be the one to break it to you - but getting your Jack and Danny out for old men on camera doesn’t make you a “radical feminist!”

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h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:39

I feel like it's more normalised to me due to my age (I am in my twenties and know other women who do it) but I feel for the women who do this and would only be perpetuating it by going back...which would be wrong. Also it makes me feel like pure shit after, just really empty, but it will benefit my daughter, it's difficult

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zscaler · 18/05/2020 18:39

As far as I’m concerned, sex work is work and you aren’t letting women down by having a job that works for you and keeps a roof over your head.

But this isn’t about overarching principles - it’s about you specifically. If it’s going to make you feel empty and miserable, you have to weigh that against the benefits. Lots of people do jobs they would rather not do because of economic necessity, but if it is going to seriously affect your happiness and wellbeing then it’s a big decision to make, and only you can really know if your emotional wellbeing can withstand a job that makes you unhappy.

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Dillydallyingthrough · 18/05/2020 18:41

Bloody hell some of these responses are harsh, the OP is financially vulnerable, which is a really shit position to be in. OP I considered this in the past as I was only feeding my daughter 3 meals a day and I was surviving on sweet tea and 2 slices of toast a day - i can still remember that desperate feeling and its shit.

OP- probably a stupid question have you checked if you are entitled to any benefits? Have you contacted your LA about a discretionary housing payment to help with rent?

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h3av3n · 18/05/2020 18:41

I know it doesn't make me a radfem, quite the opposite, my point is that I have radical feminist views, this obviously wouldn't be in line with them at all, it would be a contradiction, that's why I am in a dilemma

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Purpleartichoke · 18/05/2020 18:41

The images will be around forever. You can’t control that. You do need to assume that at some point someone you know will see them.

It’s very easy for me to say I would never do it because I am a completely different economic position. My values and my livelihood rarely come into conflict.

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Lweji · 18/05/2020 18:42

Forget feminism here.

If it makes you feel bad, then surely it's wrong for you.

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houseplantlover · 18/05/2020 18:42

So many judgy fuckers here.
I used to do webcam work, found it quite empowering taking money from creeps who are so desperate for conversation that they'll literally pay you for your time. Only you can decide, but it doesn't make you any less feminist and participating in the industry consensually doesn't devalue your morals and honestly anyone judging you for this can fuck off.
As you'll probably be aware you can block certain countries from viewing your content on most platforms. Do what you want, look after yourself.
You're not signing a contract so if it makes you feel bad then stop.

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