To start webcam modelling even though I have radical feminist views?

[h3av3n]

So in the past when I needed money I would do webcam modelling/camshows/whatever you want to call it. I could make decent money from it and also get items bought for me from my Amazon wishlist. During the time I would become really uncomfortable with it, disturbed and disgusted by the men etc, I would feel so sick and empty after a while.

I'm a radical feminist and don't believe things should be like this whatsoever but my hours were recently cut at work and I simply need the money, the times in the past were due to being desperate for money for rent, food, bills and necessities. It makes more money than any job I can do, at my job I get £8.71 per hour but an hour of cam modelling can make hundreds on a good day plus collecting fans which gives the opportunity of additional money and gifts.

It's going to make me feel like shit, also I feel like I'm letting women down by choosing to be part of this and to serve men who are disgusting people. But at the same time I need money for me and my kid. I just wonder if it's unethical from a feminist point of view to do this.

[h3av3n]

Even if you disagree to do anything like slapping or choking yourself etc, you still see the men begging for that and I find that disturbing and depressing. And actually you don't know how you would feel after doing this shit for a while. Especially if you have past trauma. Nice for you that you feel it wouldn't affect you but not every woman is so 'lucky'

[DeeCeeCherry]

I don't view sex or my vagina as some holy relic that must be protected at all costs, and imo if some bloke wants to pay hundreds of pounds just to see it, then tally ho!

I like it😁

I'd have to wear a mask tho (Not on my vaj, obvs)

[h3av3n]

Froggiebop no it isn't an extreme example and yes it's extremely common! Do you realise those are very mainstream acts these days in porn and so very common things men ask and beg for! Not sure why you think it isn't common when it's literally extremely popular requests!

[MarylandMayhem]

How many cam models do you actually know?

Loads, probably just over 100.

I help run support groups for women who are and have been victims of the sex industry.

[Froggiebop]

@h3av3n I don’t believe you actually wanted advice...I think this is a thread attacking sex workers and to share your anti feminist/anti porn views disguised as a bit of a sob story. Don’t do cam work if you don’t want to it’s literally that simple

[Rubywhox]

You shouldn’t do it because you don’t want to but it seems odd to have started the thread at all. Surely if you were that against it then you wouldn’t need to start a thread on it to get opinions

[h3av3n]

Firstly it isn't that simple and it isn't a sob story, I'm not in a good place or good situation at the moment and actually I have already taken some of the advice on the thread and intent to take more of it too. It isn't 'that simple' and I clearly explained why not, I think it's disgusting to make out it's so simple when I have already mentioned the financial situation, trauma, mental health etc. But I am grateful for the women who have given good reasons not to as I feel stronger after reading them, and for the practical advice as I am taking the advice I can already! You have no idea how stressful this is

[Ijustreallywantacat]

I think you've got a new niche there, @DeeCeeCherry.

And yes I'm sure it's a popular request. That doesn't mean you have to do it.
If you can't handle the requests, then stay away from cam work. It's so important that you look after your mental health.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

As a feminist my big problem with sex work is the fact that our society is set up in such a way that women feel that they have to work in it. For example the Op has a child. The child must have a father. Where is the father? Is he also spending every hour worrying about how to feed, clothe and house her? Is he thinking about taking a job that would seriously damage his mental health?

I strongly suspect not. Our society is set up in such a way that men who ditch their children and don’t bother to care for them or pay for them and not seen as the disgusting criminals that they are. They are instead the prime minister and men in every other profession in existence.

That is what is disgusting. Not a woman doing her best to feed her child.

[eggandeggy]

You seem to be more interested in the expensive gifts

If she can sell them= more money

[h3av3n]

Rubywhox seriously? I have clearly explained the dilemma I'm in and the difficulty I am having with the choice, also I'm just in a bad place financially and mentally and seeking guidance on the matter and my ethical dilemma etc

[Ijustreallywantacat]

@MarylandMayhem

Really important work and I hope you got through to them. It isn't for everyone and should never be done through desperation, that's for sure.

[Ajollygoodwrap]

I think part of your aim here is to talk about "the menz" who are so evil they're asking for this and that and happily pay for it but let's forget the women who are being paid and not held at gunpoint. Choking yourself at requires letting go at some point if you're losing oxygen, surely? Unless someone else was doing the choking.

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

You'll be entitled to benefits. There are also many care jobs around at the moment which although don't pay well, they will make you feel good, certainly better than something you hate!

[eggandeggy]

I'm pretty sure you dont even have to get naked.

Be smart about it. You can charm lonely men for money. No need to remove clothes. Bit like being a classy escort over the web.

[Fluffybutter]

What goes online ,stays online .
Doesn’t matter how old your daughter is now , your pictures /videos will be there when she is older and what about friends and family ?
I could never do this and I’ve had some really desperate times.

[Batshittery]

I get £8.71 per hour but an hour of cam modelling can make hundreds on a good day plus collecting fans which gives the opportunity of additional money and gifts.

This is what you said in your OP. No-one has to assume that you are interested in gifts. You said it yourself

[emz771]

Ok wake up - men are going to want her to do stuff

There isn’t such a thing as classy escort - men don’t really want to pay women to take them to dinner at The Savoy and guess them
On the cheek goodnight. It’s the stuff of movies.

[h3av3n]

Just because I mentioned it it doesn't mean I want to do it for gifts although gifts obviously help me, getting the money directly is obviously preferred... I have already explained my financial situation. Thank you again to the people who have offered advice about help available and stuff, I didn't know about all of it tbh

[MarylandMayhem]

Really important work and I hope you got through to them.

There is no "getting through to them", the women who come for support lost their naivety about the industry a long time ago.

It isn't for everyone and should never be done through desperation, that's for sure

There are not many women who would do those degrading, physically and mentally damaging acts for men if they weren't desperate. The sex industry would probably dissolve overnight if it were only financially, mentally and emotionally secure women servicing men.

[Pertella]

Yeah, theres definitely an agenda behind this thread 🤔

[LadyLeucadia]

CAB do income maximising appointments that can be very helpful. I don't know where you are obviously, but there is a ton of free food on offer in my smallish city so it's possible there is in yours as well and this might tide you over until you sort additional income out. Most support agencies are offering support over the phone.

I have no issue with sex work or sex workers. But if you find it so degrading you really should explore other options before resorting to it again. I know it's the easy option as you've done it before, but it doesn't have to be your only option.

[RedCouch]

I vote no. It sounds like it would affect your mental health too much, and you shouldn't have to feel so bad about yourself, you're worth more, even though lots of money and free gifts sounds great! But health more important

[BumblebeeBum]

Is there a way to get education and/or experience so that you are able to get a better paid job? Even if it’s a long term plan.

[Ijustreallywantacat]

@MarylandMayhem

There may not be many, but they are out there. They love sex, (or are ambivalent) they love their bodies, they are happy doing what they do.

I understand that there needs to be support systems and legal protection for women who are doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm not denying the problem.

I can only speak for my own experiences, but hanging out in the spaces I do, it is certainly possible to meet many women who really are fine doing it.

I guess that's where I sometimes struggle with rad. feminism. In the most respectful way possible, I sometimes feel like it infantalises women and turns us in to helpless victims. I get that women are exploited in this industry, but it just doesn't square with my experiences. What am I to say to my friends?
"Yeah you might think you're happy, but you're not, you're being exploited."
One particular mate of mine would kick me with her 10 inch stilettos for saying that.

I dunno.