To start webcam modelling even though I have radical feminist views?

[h3av3n]

So in the past when I needed money I would do webcam modelling/camshows/whatever you want to call it. I could make decent money from it and also get items bought for me from my Amazon wishlist. During the time I would become really uncomfortable with it, disturbed and disgusted by the men etc, I would feel so sick and empty after a while.

I'm a radical feminist and don't believe things should be like this whatsoever but my hours were recently cut at work and I simply need the money, the times in the past were due to being desperate for money for rent, food, bills and necessities. It makes more money than any job I can do, at my job I get £8.71 per hour but an hour of cam modelling can make hundreds on a good day plus collecting fans which gives the opportunity of additional money and gifts.

It's going to make me feel like shit, also I feel like I'm letting women down by choosing to be part of this and to serve men who are disgusting people. But at the same time I need money for me and my kid. I just wonder if it's unethical from a feminist point of view to do this.

Don’t do it.I know it’s difficult for you but it sounds like the porn will make you feel awful about yourself.You are very vulnerable right now, try to find another solution even benefits would be better.

OP I was coming on here to say YANBU & to absolutely do it if you need the money. And also on the feminist point - as a feminist surely it is your choice to sell your body if you wish?

However reading through your later responses it sounds like doing this previously really messed your head up. Based on that I wouldn’t recommend you do it again.

Ffs do it, don’t do it but how fucking grim.

Imagine it’s your daughter and not you. Fuck no.

It'll make you feel like shit about yourself after. Truly selling yourself. Not worth it IMO unless you are literally about to be made homeless (unlikely with a child).

Name changed for this.

I just wanted to say that I fully sympathise and empathise with you.

I have been in your shoes. I did the same thing at a time when my DH worked away and I had to look after my kid, he controlled all finances and I couldn't go to work as I had no support. I felt like this was my only option to have some financial independence.
(FYI I do not care what people say or think on here)

People here will tell you that you could of done it differently or why didn't you try this or that, of course they will, they're not you and they don't get it. They think life is easy peasy and you can find alternative ways, simple! If only hey.

Firstly, i would say to weigh up pros and cons and definitely make sure there are no other alternatives
If this is just a short term plan to get you through these shit times then do it. You will feel better knowing you can feed your child and not have to worry about not being able to pay for your bills.

I know exactly what you mean when you say the men are disgusting and yes you're right there's not one person that does this job to be sexually satisfied, it's to make ends meet.

Do what you got to do to make yourself financially secure and please don't listen to these messages on mumsnet because often more than not they're skewed opinions with no realistic basis.

Do you actually have to speak? I. E. Would they recognise your accent?

Why are people recommending care work, especially in this climate?

OP has children. It's not worth getting sick and potentially damaging her health just to take care of old and disabled people. Web cramming is safer. Much safer

Maybe physically safer but not mentally @egg

I don't think other people's opinions on the ethics matter. It is a done thing and it's about tou and your feelings, as it affects your body.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, sick and empty, I would not risk my mental health if I were in your position, and doubly so as you are a parent.

I hope your situation gets better. I've always considered doing it to due to the money but as well as all of the other moral considerations I have a phobia of being stalked so it's out of the question to put myself out there in that way, however tiny the chance!

We don't need to berate women for the reality that exists around the profitability of any kind of sex work. I completely understand why you would be considering this under desperate circumstances.

The brutal facts are that in time’s of desperation women often need to turn to sex work , so words like ‘grim’ are supremely unempatjetic
As others said my
Major concern is your MH
And long term MH implications of you do something that makes you feel so shit

This thread is absolutely ridiculous.

You have chosen to market yourself as a "radical feminist", and in order to do so, surely to goodness you understand what it entails and what your individual beliefs are. Radical feminism isn't "one size fits all". It isn't one singular belief, it's a way of life based wholly and entirely around your own individual beliefs and the way you choose to live your life. The fact that you've even STARTED this thread to ask if it is unethical from a feminist standpoint totally and utterly overrides any credibility in your initial statement of being "a radical feminist". Because if you were so radical, you wouldn't give a fuck what other people think and you'd live your life freely based on what you believe.

as a feminist surely it is your choice to sell your body if you wish?

OP has children. It's not worth getting sick and potentially damaging her health just to take care of old and disabled people. Yeah fuck elderly and disabled people. And fuck OPs mental health. FYI I do care work and we took very early measures and have no covid in the home. I also have young children. Sue me!

eggandeggy Also should I phone residents family members to let them know we can no longer be arsed to look after them because of potential health risks so can they kindly pick them up? Everyone puts carers at the lowest of the low. Until they can't look after their family member who needs care.

If you want to do it, do it, If it makes your mental health suffer then dont do it.

Is this a super-creative begging post? OP hoping that by posting that her only option is prostituting herself on camera that all the Lady Bountifuls offer to paypal her lots of cash?

*As far as I’m concerned, sex work is work and you aren’t letting women down by having a job that works for you and keeps a roof over your head.

But this isn’t about overarching principles - it’s about you specifically. If it’s going to make you feel empty and miserable, you have to weigh that against the benefits. Lots of people do jobs they would rather not do because of economic necessity, but if it is going to seriously affect your happiness and wellbeing then it’s a big decision to make, and only you can really know if your emotional wellbeing can withstand a job that makes you unhappy.*

This sums it up for me. Sex work is work, and people who shut you down with SEX WORK IS BAD are showing their hand a bit. If you think you can - personally - live with it, do it. If you can't, don't, but don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do.

This thread is exactly why people think feminists are nuts. The concept obviously is good but my God, the way some people are talking to OP is shameful. Principles are well and good but let's face it, what if you can't afford to have them. People are going on about going on benefits etc but these things take weeks and weeks to sort out, and that's even if OP could get anything.

OP I get why you are considering it I really do and if your mental health can cope then I would say go for it......but I'm not sure it can. It may do more harm than good and you don't want to be going back to that dark place but please....if you did have to resort to it do not be thinking you are letting women down. If anything, the people on this thread are letting women down by their narrow minded blinkered views, probably reading this in disgust in their ivory towers. Not the ones disagreeing by the way as we are all entitled to our opinions, I mean the ones dishing out the insults and name calling.

Iteresting that people here can get worked up about feminism 'infantalising' women but not pornography objectifying women, children and actual infants

For one thing, if it involves infants it is not pornography, it is child sexual abuse.

For another, this is aaargument which just does not address that many women find being told how to live and what to do and that they aren't capable of making their own choices extremely concerning, whether that telling is being done by misogynists or feminists.

*an argument

Hear hear clothing! You've said beautifully what i was trying to think of, but failed to come up with words.

I do not support the smut but as a old school second wave feminist I believe you should have the freedom to do what you want.

That's third wave liberal feminism you're describing there. Second wave is actual radical feminism, the type the OP isn't. An action isn't automatically feminist just because a woman chooses to do it, if that action causes or perpetuates harm to women as a class - which so-called sex work very much does.

TBH something about the OP's posts read less like an actual dilemma and more like a scenario set up to guarantee some frothing on a topic known to excite strong feelings on MN and pit women against women.

OP, you've been given several suggestions for alternative courses of action that won't force you to into a dissociative state, so I'd echo exploring those suggestions.

I believe feminism is about women having the opportunity to be making choices for themselves.

So if this is what you want to do, stop feeling guilty over it.
I never will forget what I once heard a sexworker say: 'I don't feel humiliated to be doing sex work. You know what feels humiliating to me? Not being able to put food on the table for my kids'.

I believe as long as doing sex work was a decision made by a woman without any pressure / coercion from somebody else, she should have that freedom.

But actual Radical Feminism whose views the OP claims to hold states afaik that all sex work is rape as consent cannot be freely given due in part to the sex worker needing the money, and all punters are rapists.

Other types of Feminism believe in different things regarding sex work, but the OP states that she is RadFem & I would say that clearly these views are totally incompatible with any kind of sex work.

Of course the best place for this discussion is probably the Feminism Boards not AIBU.

Ps the Radfem views are not my views I was just explaining them