Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say I don't care what genitals the person in the next loo cubicle has...

999 replies

coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 10:54

And that most people probably don't either?

I'm sick of the transphobia on Mumsnet, and fed up of how it seems to be fine on here to go after trans writers such as Juno Dawson, who is writing from their own experience and imagination, and absolutely allowed to publish whatever the fuck they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 11:06

I don't care. I really don't. I'm not a troll, I've been here forever and am just tired of the transphobia.

OP posts:
Nihiloxica · 18/05/2020 11:07

I care

Lostvoiced · 18/05/2020 11:08

I care. And it's not transphobic. It would be transphobic if I cared about their gender identity, but I dont. I care about their biological sex.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 18/05/2020 11:09

Genitals do bloody matter when males, you know those with a penis, want unfettered access to all female only spaces and removal of any child safeguarding.

I dont want my DD's being told they must forfeit their own safety, privacy and dignity to provide validation for AGP males.

The answer is no. Tough.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 18/05/2020 11:09

Whatexit I'm not angry, I'm baffled. And I think it depends on your social circle in real life.... Depends on who you ask really!

GinDaddyRedux · 18/05/2020 11:09

I am a man, so please hear me out, but I do care what genitals the next person in a loo cubicle might have, if my wife and daughters, or any other women for that matter, are using it.

If "writing from experience" is the only qualification someone needs in order to destroy the rights of an entire sex, then goodness, we are in trouble.

I respect the lived experience of Juno Dawson, and I believe we should work hard to ensure there are safe spaces for them in society. but NOT at the expense of the safe spaces of women.

Why, someone please explain to me why, have so many women's perspectives been superceded, just because a person decided to write a book and shout over these women who are steadfastly saying no to this?

My mother once rang a famous arts centre in London and asked them politely if all toilets had become gender neutral, as she was visiting on a Sunday last year and wanted to understand. (This is my liberal LGBT supporting mother who lived with gay people in the 70s etc).

She was roundly told "I'm not comfortable with your question"....?! From a professional organisation who could just answer the question proudly as a point of fact?

The world is going mad in my view. Women are wonderful, I live with three of them. They have the right to be safe. Their safety is not less important than the right of a person to access the toilet facility which bears the symbol they identify with most closely.

I'm sure I'll get banned for this, but I had to say it.

coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 11:09

Let me put it this way, if somebody with a dick, or somebody who once had a dick, but identifies as female wants to pee in a cubicle next to me I could not care less. And never will.

OP posts:
HappyPunky · 18/05/2020 11:10

I care but support the campaign for additional mixed sex services and facilities , I don't support the campaign to turn existing services and facilities mixed sex.

Single sex provision doesnt just over the sex aspect of the equality act 2010, it covers religious requirements too. The plain language also is required for people with English as an additional language and people with disabilities that can affect reading.

bloodywhitecat · 18/05/2020 11:10

My mum cares, she was raped every day of her childhood by her 'father' and sometimes his friends. I care, I care about women who have been through similar and find it threatening.

GinDaddyRedux · 18/05/2020 11:10

@Whatsnewpussyhat said it so much better and more succinctly than me.

coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 11:11

I believe that if someone says they are a woman, and have been through a lifetime of feeling more comfortable in that gender, then we should respect that and let them use whatever bathroom they like.

OP posts:
Margotshypotheticaldog · 18/05/2020 11:11

Op do you have a daughter?

AnnofPeeves · 18/05/2020 11:11

I care. And I care even more for young girls. I'm tired of people confusing the safety of women and girls with transphobia.

Quillink · 18/05/2020 11:11

That's interesting. I care. So does my elderly mother and my Muslim neighbour. What now?

The women before us fought for single sex spaces. Why do you think that was? Why do you get to give them away when they're still needed?

nolongersurprised · 18/05/2020 11:11

OP you’re going to get shouted down by the angry mob on here.

I’m not at all angry. I just feel more comfortable dealing with messy periods in a same sex environment.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 18/05/2020 11:11

It’s not just toilets though is it? It’s rape crisis centres, and domestic violence refuges, and prisons, or girl guide camps, or top shop open plan changing rooms. In short anywhere women are asleep, naked or vulnerable.

Or is it because you don’t think you need a refuge or go to prison that those other women who do mind don’t matter?

coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 11:12

I'm not going to reveal my entire past but I have suffered at the hands of men before. I'm still not fussed about a woman with a penis getting changed in a cubicle next to me.

OP posts:
GinDaddyRedux · 18/05/2020 11:12

@coronaandtired

I respect your perspective for not caring, but there are people, real women, who have suffered assaults and abuse from men in public toilet spaces. Being female-only toilets gives them a chance to perform a basic unavoidable human function in the privacy that is a basic human right in my opinion.

So again, respect to you for not caring, but can you acknowledge that there are women who would be terrified at the thought of a person with male genitalia next to them away from the public?

Margotshypotheticaldog · 18/05/2020 11:12

I'm not comfortable with it though. Why shouldn't everyone respect my comfort?

zscaler · 18/05/2020 11:12

I agree with you OP, but you’ll need your hard had on here!

It has never even occurred to me to think about what the person in the cubicle next to me is packing in their pants. I’m far more likely to be sexually assaulted or raped by a friend, partner or family member than I am by someone pretending to be trans and lurking in the loo at Sainsbury’s, but the feminism boards on mumsnet devote a tiny fraction of their attention to the very real and present threat of domestic violence and assault faced by most women, compared to the endless outrage about trans rights.

I can think of ten things off the top of my head that present greater dangers and challenges to women than self-ID, but the ‘feminists’ on the MN feminism boards have no time for those issues because they aren’t currently trendy.

Theluggage15 · 18/05/2020 11:13

I care, and so do lots of other women. Women who don’t care are very naive if they don’t think that men won’t take advantage of being allowed in female only spaces.

DarrellRiversTuckBox · 18/05/2020 11:13

Newsflash, OP - the world doesn't revolve around you and your preferences. Give that a thought.

Porridgeoat · 18/05/2020 11:13

Having been sexually harassed by males in unisex facilities I am bothered. I am also concerned for my children’s safeguarding in mixed sex facilities

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 18/05/2020 11:13

I care - I want single sex spaces for women and girls who want them.

coronaandtired · 18/05/2020 11:13

I'm pretty sure no transgender folk give a flying fuck about your messy periods @nolongersurprised

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.