My partner is at a fucking bbq/party

[Namechangex10000]

I am livid. I do not consider myself to be a stickler for rules, I’m not over the top, I “allow” him to go to work even though I know he still socialising whilst at work, but I can’t do much about it.

We have a nearly 2yo ds. Last week ds was diagnosed with an ear and chest infection.

Today, he went out to get some bits for us to continued work on the house, and instead of doing that, he swanned off to a bbq (he is still there, despite arguing about it and me “telling him how it is”) all day. I just can’t beieve it. He just keeps saying “well I asked you if you wanted to come”

Is it me? Am I wrong?

Because I think he’s a fucking moron of the highest order and he simply cannot see it?

You are not BU

Ignore the posters who come on to try and be super clever.

The vote tells you what people really think.

OP I think your issues may go past Covid pandemic.

If you've explained it to him constantly and he is still disregarding your view point, does he do this with other things, non Covid related?

Do you feel comfortable with the amount he seems to drink? Are you happy with his peer group of drinkers/drug takers?

Why is it so hard for some posters to grasp that yes builders might knock off at 4pm and then sit on the site til 8pm with some beer , because they'd most likely have gone down the pub? Doesn't mean they are working under the influence

What have you decided to do op?

he drinks at work, all day, even whilst still working

And he's on a building site all day?

I'd be less worried about Covid19 and more about death or dismemberment on the job. And is the will in order?

YANBU, I would tell him to stay somewhere else.

Your partner sounds like a dick.

YANBU. People are doing the usual AIBU bullshit of taking one comment out of context and then applying the worst possible interpretation, but the reality is he has been brutally selfish to go to a bloody barbecue when he has a toddler with a chest infection at home. I would be livid too, I think he has been deeply unfair and doesn’t seem to be prioritising the vulnerable child in this situation.

He shouldn't be at a bbq, leaving you with an unwell child is poor behaviour too.

Drinking all day at work is worrying.

Well you saying "allow" even if you put it in quotation marks makes you sound controlling. Surely he's got to go to work to pay the bills.

I understand your anxiety about him going to work with having a sick child in the gouse. Like I said, it's wrong of him to go to a BBQ and is terrible form gor a father. Makes him look like he doesn't give a shit a about his kids.

I'd be locking the door and telling him to come back once he's isolated for 2 weeks. No word of a lie. My DP would be moved out to his mother's if he done that when we had a sick child at home especially since the little one has a chest infection.

Same.

To whoever mentioned it - I didn’t say he was a bbq with anybody from his work.

I can’t even be bothered with the post to be honest. I don’t care about being right or people agreeing with me, I guess I wanted to sound off a bit, but actually I’ve come away from it feeling like I’m wrong to think my son having an infection should trump a bbq.

The risk, however high or low, is not one that should be taken in my opinion.

As for those who have zoned in on the word allow, maybe try to lighten up and see it for what it was? Jesus Christ many people I know have shared a meme on Facebook about “today’s science lesson, does chloroform have a smell” I might have to rethink their joke and report them all to social services!

Wow!

I bet the reason you came to MN to vent is because he is telling you you're being irrational and what he's doing is 'not a big deal'. Probably made you wonder if you're living in a twilight zone and needed to hear other people's opinions?

You must be very angry. What would you like to be the outcome of all of this, in an ideal world? Are you fed up enough to want him to leave?

So, a few weeks ago people on here were screaming YOU ARE THE PROBLEM at other posters basically for 'crimes' like going to family members' houses and waving to them from the foot of their driveways.

Now, while the UK is still under lockdown and gatherings are not allowed, a poster is being called 'unhinged' and 'highly strung' for not wanting her partner to expose her family to unnecessary risk. At an actual party FFS. You know, one of those things we're still not supposed to hold or go to.

Just wow.

YANBU OP.

Lucky sod, I love BBQ's.

I’m not sure why you picked this hill to die on since it is socialising with the same people he works with.

Personally I’d have picked the hill named “daddy’s an alkie and drinks all day on his bullding job and comes home wankered every night”

Guess we are all different.

I play a game now where I read the op then guess whether responders will be rude or supportive. I called this one right! How on earth is op a cf or unhinged?? We're not allowed to meet for bbqs! I would be so annoyed, especially with ds unwell too.

@Namechangex10000 you are not bu. He is being very stupid, selfish and one track minded. If it was i would not be letting him back in the house.

You have every right to be angry!

Gee MM is crazy tonight!

I am actually quite stunned at the replies, I love a bbq myself, but as it stands, I care a liiiiiiiittle bit more about my child, my child who has been unable to see his family for 8 weeks, whilst his dad swans about and does whatever the fuck he likes? Jesus Christ. I have never in my life expected my partner to stay home just because our child is unwell, what’s happening today, is completely and utterly different.

Quite honestly, some of you have made me think maybe I am unhinged after all. What’s the point in the rules if they’re a joke? 🤷🏻‍♀️

What a bunch of bizarre responses. Is the lockdown affecting peoples heads or something?

YANBU OP. I'd be pissed off, especially with a poorly child at home. What an arsehole.

I get you Op. Like other have said ignore the others who are deliberately picking apart your post.

The issue is he is placing having a laugh with his mates, given current conditions, above the health and wellbeing of your ill baby. If the people he is socialising with do this with others, then they do it ect then yes there is a chance he will bring it back to you both. This was one of the reasons we went into lockdown, to stop the spread and not overwhelm the NHS.

I'm not surprised your angry, I'd be fizzing. If he cant understand why, then personally I'd kick him to the curb for a bit, partly to give you piece of mind and partly to give yourself time to think if this relationship with this man is right for you.

You child at least deserves a dad who places them above drinking with his mates, and you deserve someone who thinks higher of you both than he does. I'm also guessing he thinks closing the pub was some sort of personal slight to him.

He sounds a thoughtless idiot at best, and a selfish man child at worse.

Wish you all the best

Really helpful userxx
This poster needs support because she is in a relationship with a selfish tosser who is making her think she's a nag when all she is doing is protecting her baby and obeying the lockdown rules.

@Bluntness100 I have already clarified that I have AT NO POINT said he is a bbq with the people he works with and I’m unsure why you have made that assumption. Those of you that think people who drink on the regular appear to be constantly wankered, couldn’t be more wrong.

What have you decided to do ? What time do you think he'll be back

He sounds a knob OP, YANBU.

He's a selfish wanker.

Ignore all the people calling you controlling for not wanting him to blatantly break lockdown rules during a national crisis.