Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner is at a fucking bbq/party

348 replies

Namechangex10000 · 17/05/2020 21:26

I am livid. I do not consider myself to be a stickler for rules, I’m not over the top, I “allow” him to go to work even though I know he still socialising whilst at work, but I can’t do much about it.

We have a nearly 2yo ds. Last week ds was diagnosed with an ear and chest infection.

Today, he went out to get some bits for us to continued work on the house, and instead of doing that, he swanned off to a bbq (he is still there, despite arguing about it and me “telling him how it is”) all day. I just can’t beieve it. He just keeps saying “well I asked you if you wanted to come”

Is it me? Am I wrong?

Because I think he’s a fucking moron of the highest order and he simply cannot see it?

OP posts:
OnNaturesCourse · 17/05/2020 21:41

To be honest I get OPs post 👀

I know plenty people who have jobs that require them to be social (and that includes taking clients out for meals, drinks, events etc)

I'm not 100% why this kind of work expectation would still be going in the current climate however.

By "allow" I'm pretty sure OP means they don't like DP being at work due to the nature of the job but can't really argue it. Honestly, I wouldn't like my DP being at work just now either.

CoachBombay · 17/05/2020 21:41

So if he's been drinking 4pm -8pm daily and this hasn't been questioned in a calm and adult conversation, there's no wonder he's gone for a BBQ, he probably sees it as no different to the usual 4-8 drinks

Bluntness100 · 17/05/2020 21:41

He’s a builder who drinks all day on the job?

Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 17/05/2020 21:42

His job is capable of being done whilst adhering to the government guidelines, if he was doing that - no problem, but he’s not, frankly I even said I haven’t said anything about that issue

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/05/2020 21:42

Honestly not sure what’s going on on here tonight.

It’s like the lock down madness has over taken some folks. Some right batshit threads.

zoemum2006 · 17/05/2020 21:42

Are some of you people living in the past?

We're not allowed to go to effing BBQs! Your partner sounds immature and reckless.

maresydoats · 17/05/2020 21:42

Drunk in lockown.

Love it!

bigchris · 17/05/2020 21:45

he drinks at work, all day, even whilst still working

Just dump him op

Doesn't sound like a keeper !

CoachBombay · 17/05/2020 21:45

I don't think his job is capable of being done when he is half cut though 😳 is he a registered builder working in sites? Or is he like an odd jobs man.

I'm now starting to get concerned there's some drinking builder knocking up kitchen extensions and partying till 8pm.

In which case no you are not being unreasonable OP.

1Morewineplease · 17/05/2020 21:45

I’d be very annoyed OP.

speakout · 17/05/2020 21:45

A builder who drinks all day while at work?

OP you have bigger problems than a BBQ.

Lemonblast · 17/05/2020 21:45

He’s a selfish dick.
But there are plenty like him.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 17/05/2020 21:46

I think people are deliberately obtuse. It's pretty obvious that you meant he was socialising with work mates, in addition to working.
Yanbu, but the thing is you have a bloke who doesn't give a shot what you say and who is too stupid/selfish to act in the best interests of his child. He won't change, do the only thing which matters here is what are you going to do about it? Have a life where he does whatever the fuck he wants and you put up with it? Or one where you don't live with him and can therefore not spend all of Sunday rowing and getting stressed?

SabrinaThwaite · 17/05/2020 21:46

He doesn’t dress up in Lycra and cycle around deliberately annoying sweary car drivers as well does he?

tartanbow · 17/05/2020 21:46

some of you are actually mental!

I cant believe what I'm reading, this site really is one extreme to the other, from those telling people they are murderers for going out, to the other on here basically telling OP she is at fault for her partner going to a bbq when they have a poorly child. I mean I'm all for differing opinions but this takes the piss lol!

LizzieSiddal · 17/05/2020 21:46

I wouldn’t let him back in the house. He can go and self isolate somewhere else.

Is he a twit in other areas of his life?

lardass88 · 17/05/2020 21:46

I agree with you OP. I'd be fuming if this was my OH. we are still in lockdown and people just take the piss without thinking of the consequences.
I completely get your first post don't know some people on here are just being bellends in picking it apart

HollysBush · 17/05/2020 21:48

Is it only since covid that you’ve realised how selfish he is? You must be really frustrated by his behaviour.

Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 17/05/2020 21:49

I am actually stunned, clearly if so many people think it’s ok to flaunt the rules it’s no wonder we are here.

To answer a few (I can’t tag)

I do everything and anything for my partner and family, wait on them all hand and foot, I’m not a fucking nag

I am also not a control freak (I think it’s quite clear - he does what he wants)

I have brought up the subject of what he does at work, I have explained in an adult manner that it’s not ok, and he is really supposed to just be going and getting on with it whilst keeping a distance and then coming home, but quite clearly, I do not sit at his work monitoring him, so I have to just get on with it don’t i

I have already said I’m not over the top about what people do during lockdown, my issue is that our BABY has an infection, so socialising with a load of drinkers/drug users at a bbq (who all clearly do not respect lockdown, and therefore, have also no doubt been socialising elsewhere) is indicative of a risk to our son, no? If I am wrong on that then please point me in the direct of the real rules becaus I’ve obviously lost my mind.

I am not generally angry, however right now, yeah I am, because he has had it explained to him in terms that even a child can comprehend, that he should not be at a bbq and he should be placing our son at a higher value than his mates.

OP posts:
Hotcuppatea · 17/05/2020 21:49

Well it sounds as though your issues aren't all Covid related and that things aren't good between you generally.

Porridgeoat · 17/05/2020 21:50

What job does he do?

Does he drink and drive?

Is he socialising only with the people he works with? Or a wider group of people?

ThePianist38 · 17/05/2020 21:50

His chances of him bringing the virus back from the bbq party are as high as him bringing it from work considering he’s working/socialising with the same people.

YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 17/05/2020 21:51

To be honest I raised an eyebrow at allow too..
think I’d have just said “he goes to work and I know he’s socialising there”. Definitely came across as controlling whether in inverted commas or not.

bloodyhellsbellsx · 17/05/2020 21:51

A builder who’s gets pissed at work? I hope he’s only building sandcastles!

Somerville · 17/05/2020 21:51

He’s left you with an unwell child so he can go off and flaunt social distancing rules. That’s what it boils down to, aye?

He’s a dick.