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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be “peopled out”

278 replies

Sexnotgender · 17/05/2020 16:32

Having a down day and I think I’ve realised it’s because there’s someone here ALL THE BLOODY TIME.

I love my family but dear lord what I wouldn’t give for a few hours solitude.

OP posts:
AmICrazyorWhat2 · 19/05/2020 01:08

I'm currently alone in the kitchen...it's amazing!

Someone will come in soon, but just a few minutes of peace are wonderful.

Pansypath · 19/05/2020 01:36

Yes this is me. Three primary ages kids plus dh working from home there is always someone where I want to be. Dh took kids for long walk other day so I could just be home alone for a few hours. It was bliss

EmpressLangClegInChair · 19/05/2020 03:32

Please can we be allowed to have this moan without people living on their own making the Sad Face?

Moan as much as you want - I’ll take living on my own over constant company any time! Especially now I can meet up with friends again.

Mercedes519 · 19/05/2020 05:55

I just got up at 5am after not being able to get back to sleep. Went to bed late after sitting up to enjoy some rare quiet time.

DD has just got up. FFS even getting up at the crack of dawn got me less than an hour of peace.

Now have a day of back to back work calls and constant parenting. And it’s only Tuesday...

rayoflightboy · 19/05/2020 06:06

@Mercedes519 Me too.I got up to have a coffee in peace.And 2 of my 3 popped their head around the door.Seriously its 5.30.So i gave them their phones and they have gone back to bed.

Mercedes519 · 19/05/2020 06:11

@rayoflightboy not just me then! She is watching TV but it’s just the difference knowing someone else is up!

And I know I’ll feel it later getting up so bloody early.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 19/05/2020 08:44

Pacing. Does anybody else have a housemate that relentlessly paces? In trousers that go thwixk thwick thwixk. I'll not even mention the eating noises. Although is it possible to have a house actually constructed out of eating noises?

Putyourdamnshoeson · 19/05/2020 08:52

I actually growled a few weeks back when one child got up off me and 5 seconds later, the younger one got on me. He's 8.i felt terrible and DH looked at me like I was a monster. But I burst onto tears and yelled 'stop touching me!'

I'm better now. Ds 8 learned to ride his bike sl DH was able to take both out on bikes for an hour on Saturday. It was fucking magical. I've been in a fab mood since!

CookPassBabtridge · 19/05/2020 08:59

I am constantly telling my kids to get off me. They get LOADS of cuddles and affection and attention so they aren't lacking, and I'm not a cold monster.. I just don't want them on me all the time.

CookPassBabtridge · 19/05/2020 09:00

And it annoys me the fact that they think I as their mum want them around me constantly, no go enertain yourself for a bit!
I take myself on solitary walks as much as possible Smile

Wetwashing00 · 19/05/2020 09:15

I’m glad it’s not just me, when I told my friends they made me feel guilty for not enjoying the time with my family more.
But they are either key workers still working or stay at home mums.

This little trick works most of the time for me, wear headphones. In the morning when I want to drink my coffee in peace Which I usually have the pleasure of doing after the school run.
They walk in take one look and realise it’s too much hassle trying to talk over my headphones or get my attention so they go to their dad.

No amount of stolen free time seems to be satisfying though, I need 6 solid hours mon-fri away from the kids and 10 hours from my husband. 😂

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 19/05/2020 09:38

Even if DH goes upstairs to his office, he is still THERE, watching stupid videos when not working with the volume turned up - if he makes or takes a phone call, he paces up and down on the landing constantly. He doesn't like me hoovering when he is working; he shouts down to me that there is a delivery van outside (yes, I know - the dog has started barking to tell me); he tells me if the landline phone is ringing (I sit right next to it where my PC is) - please, just go back to work!

Supermarketworker06 · 19/05/2020 10:08

My dh went back to work yesterday. I was supposed to be on holiday with my best friend this week, so it's a week at home for me.
If I wasn't here, and dh is at work, housework wouldn't be done (that's my thoughts anyway!) so apart from the washing I did nothing. Went for a long walk on my own, went shopping on my own, sat on the settee and watched tv on my own, lovely!
We get on really well, never argue but I just want some me time. I'm still working part time but that brings its own stresses ( ignorant customers etc) so it's nice to have just that time on my own.
Here's a question- how long do you think queuing for shops and social distancing will last? Can you imagine what it'd be like at Christmas? The queues will be epic!

HighlandSpring101 · 19/05/2020 10:10

I go out for a walk late in the evening when they've all gone to bed. Well, I say walk, I go down the street about 100 yards into a field, stand there in the silence for 5 minutes and then go home again

GrinGrin

EmpressLangClegInChair · 19/05/2020 10:23

It must be hell being locked down with people you can’t get away from. You’ve all got my sympathy!

zingally · 19/05/2020 11:20

I feel you.

At the moment, the weekly food shop feels like a holiday! I'm excited when there's a queue, because I can get a bit of time quietly thinking my own thoughts!

LizzyA123 · 19/05/2020 12:08

With you on this one. My DH is working from home so his office is our utility area/garage which makes it awkward to use the washing machine or access the freezer.
Three teen locusts emptying the cupboards, piling up the washing, hogging the bathroom and our Netflix. I long for a day having the whole house to myself.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 19/05/2020 12:21

My husband is doing a funeral, the baby is sleeping and the teenager is in her room. It’s quiet...

OP posts:
Rosebel · 19/05/2020 12:24

I can't even go for a,walk as the midwife told me to shield from now on. It's driving me just not being able to go out. The girls are old enough to go on their own but won't. Was not happy last night when I realised someone had eaten my bar of chocolate I'd been saving.
My husband went shopping today so I sneaked downstairs and 2_minutes later was joined by the children. Finally they go upstairs again and my husband arrivals back. I just want 5 minutes peace and quiet!
Sound like a right miserable cow, I love them all to bits but 8 weeks is too much!

Shezza71 · 19/05/2020 15:02

I feel your pain. DH is an alcoholic, dd1 is staying with her boyfriend, dd2 has her boyfriend staying with us. I’ve moved into dd1s bedroom so I have space. Working as a nanny looking after 3yo twins in their home with both parents working from home( I say working as a very loose term). I don’t want to be at work so I’m using holiday to do a 3 day week during May, but I don’t want to be home either.
Was seriously tempted to just drive to the beach on my own to get away from everyone At the weekend.

Rubyscute · 19/05/2020 15:51

YANBU.
I am in a one bedroom apartment with an 8 mo and dh working from home in the living room. We were going to start looking for a bigger place just before lockdown.
Baby can't nap properly during the day and now screams for hours at night like when she was a newborn.
I've barely been alone or had a moment of peace since restrictions began.
I occasionally get dh to take dd for a bit so I can go for a "quick lie down" but I really go in there to cry Sad

BarbiesWorld · 19/05/2020 16:50

I never realised just how much my 4 year old talks. It. Is. Constant. Talking to her toys, to me, the cats, the 3 month old baby and literally anything that is in her vicinity. How the hell she hasn't run out of things to say is beyond me.

The baby is going through a growth spurt or something and doesn't stop feeding and won't let me put him down without screaming.

I'm all touched out and mentally exhausted.

Dreaming of lockdown ending and going for a sit in a coffee shop with my book followed by a massage.

ChilliCheese123 · 19/05/2020 17:17

@BarbiesWorld I just actually lol’ed I thought you out ‘going for a shit in a coffee shop’ and was like ‘yep, I feel that!’

Blackbear19 · 19/05/2020 18:57

The Minecraft gibber has begun
Doomed as predicted make a change from Lego peopleShock

MuddlingMackem · 19/05/2020 21:27

YAsoNBU.

I'm an extreme introvert too and need a lot of solitude to recharge. As I work in a customer facing role that I find really draining, I need that solitude to get me through the week, and I'm not getting it. I do get out for walks but I'm in the same boat as another poster on this, I spend so much of it dodging other people it isn't restful or recharging.

I feel the pain of the previous poster who got up early for some solitude and was joined by DC. I had that happen a couple of weeks ago - dragged myself out of bed early to feel the silence, and that's the only time daughter has dragged herself out of her pit voluntarily before noon!