"When he passed" - AIBU to think WTF?

[TheClitterati]

Seems everything uses "passed" instead of died now. On the radio, in conversations, on MN, online. I expected to see statistics of those who passed from covid 19 any day now.

He passed. When she passed. She passed 20 years ago. Anniversary of his passing.

Seems to have snuck up on me & I find it very annoying. Plus - so many questions! Where did this come from? Why do people use it so widely? Is it now unacceptable or uncouth to talk of death? Where are all these people passing to? Did Fred West & Hitler pass also or it it just people we think kindly of who pass? Are we now to speak of the passing of Diana? The day Prince passed?

I didn't mind in occasional use- people can express themselves as they like. I understand why someone might refer to the death of a loved one this way. But it does seem to now be THE way to reference the death of anyone at all.

AIBU to think it's ok to talk about death and people dying. Has mention of death become unspeakable?

The phrase never used to annoy me until my husband died (suicide). Saying I "lost" him kind of puts the onus on me doesn't it?

sorry, I see you were enquiring about the phrase "passed" OP* I don't like that phrase either. Twee.

Wtf. People who are grieving can use whatever word they like to talk about their loved one's death and whatever makes it easier for them.

When my soul mate died. I lost him. It was profoundly 'lost'. He is still lost and I die inside every day a little when I think of how lost he is to me.

For someone else, he passed, another, he died.

We can use what we like. Language describes our own personal experience. It's not just euphemism.

I really fail to understand why phrases like this bother people so much.
Someone has died , really changes nothing by how they refer to it

I think if someone told me they'd lost their dad, I'd assume dad had died and not wandered off in Tesco. I don't usually ask deep meaningful questions of someone if they believe in afterlife, when they report a 'passing'. To be honest when my mother died the idea that she had passed on to a new life with my father was comforting - I have very little real belief that this is the case.
I think doing news reports on topics like deaths in nursing homes is difficult - saying died five times in a two minute slot. So saying a resident passed away before she was taken to hospital is aceptable to me.
I don't like the phrase 'birth a baby' much, I prefer 'give birth', but am always happy to hear about safe delivery. The event is more important than the words.

In context, I can’t imagine anyone misunderstanding ‘I’ve lost my dad’ or similar.
Having said that, a phrase I find odd (whilst knowing exactly how it’s meant) is ‘I’m sorry’ rather than ‘I’m sorry to hear’. After my dad died a few people came up to me and just said that. It sounded so much like an apology that I wanted to ask them what they’d done!

«I think if someone told me they'd lost their dad, I'd assume dad had died and not wandered off in Tesco«

My elderly dad has dementia, and before lockdown he quite regularly was lost in Tesco, but very much still alive.

If people want to use the word passed in their own family circle that's up to them. It's none of my business. But it should never be used in an official context when reporting news or giving news.

In my own life I will definitely not allow anybody to refer to my loved one as having passed, certainly not in my presence or when talking to me.

Sorry, wrong thread. I've reported the post.

Oh mittens I agree! I don't have school age kids.
If someone looked flustered in Tesco having lost their dad I'd probably twig, and help look. I mislaid a child in Wal-Mart once.
If a journalist uses a variety of words to describe death, I'd assume she was just mixing up vocabulary a bit.

My neighbours cat is currently lost, we're not sure in which sense of the word

Well, (obviously) It’s “short” for the term ‘passed away’ which is just a kinder/softer/ more gentle way of saying “died”.

It’s generally used when someone is trying to be respectful or soften what they are saying. Personally, I think that is respectful. And when someone I love has been spoken about in this way, I am grateful for this softer delivery of the news.

Is it? I 'hear' 'passed' as being short for 'passed over', not passed away.

Maybe I'm the only person who does but to me, the contraction is not only not obvious, but different.

Cats do like to keep yo guessing at times.

Whenever there is a bereavement thread on here, people (very kindly) respond with 'I'm sorry for your loss'. Because it is a loss. 'Lost' is the past participle of the verb 'to lose'.

In saying that, I did have a macabre chuckle at I think if someone told me they'd lost their dad, I'd assume dad had died and not wandered off in Tesco

Dominic Raab just referred to those who have 'passed'. The fish rots from the head!

He also said died. As do all the charts.

I have never really consciously noticed ‘passed’ and if I did I would assume short for ‘passed away’. This seems more familiar (to me) than passed over, neither of which I like but would defend people’s right to use when talking about their own loved ones.

Formally it should be died with police / emergency services / HCPs. Reporters / politicians usually need to frame or create connotations so different rules and agendas apply.

I prefer 'passed' to 'not compatible with life' which is how the doctor announced to the room that they hadn't been able to save my three year old son.

I'm with you, OP, I don't like the term "passed away". However I always feel like saying "died" comes across harsh - even though that's how I would put it in my head.

I don't like it. It's an Americanism. Which is absolutely fine when Americans say it, just sounds awful when we do.

I also don't like "raised" instead of brought up, or "turned" for birthday "he turned 18" for the same reason.

I feel better for that, thank you OP

Really weird thing to get hung up on!

It's a bit like 'curvy' or 'plus-sized' for fat. Just say the word.

I also don't like "raised" instead of brought up, or "turned" for birthday "he turned 18" for the same reason

don’t get me started on “dropped”. So many people dropping things.