"When he passed" - AIBU to think WTF?

[TheClitterati]

Seems everything uses "passed" instead of died now. On the radio, in conversations, on MN, online. I expected to see statistics of those who passed from covid 19 any day now.

He passed. When she passed. She passed 20 years ago. Anniversary of his passing.

Seems to have snuck up on me & I find it very annoying. Plus - so many questions! Where did this come from? Why do people use it so widely? Is it now unacceptable or uncouth to talk of death? Where are all these people passing to? Did Fred West & Hitler pass also or it it just people we think kindly of who pass? Are we now to speak of the passing of Diana? The day Prince passed?

I didn't mind in occasional use- people can express themselves as they like. I understand why someone might refer to the death of a loved one this way. But it does seem to now be THE way to reference the death of anyone at all.

AIBU to think it's ok to talk about death and people dying. Has mention of death become unspeakable?

[eggandonion]

Don't come to Ireland where children are reared, or northern Ireland where they are rared.
I like a language with a variety of expressions and words.

[Myimaginarycathasfleas]

I like "reared"!

[billandbeninsanfrancisco]

Sorry Ragamuffin

[antipodalpizza]

@ragamuffin

[TabbyMumz]

I also dont like the phrase "fell pregnant", like it was nothing to do with her.

[TabbyMumz]

Or the phrase happy heavenly birthday. They are dead, they are not having a birthday.

[Hingeandbracket]

which is just a kinder/softer/ more gentle way of saying “died”

I don't think of it as kinder/softer etc. It is fucking pointless - it doesn't make the person any less dead and it just makes everyone saying it seem like an arse (in my not at all humble opinion of course).
If people ask about my Dad, he's dead not passed, passed on, passed away or any other stupid shit term. He is dead.

[TabbyMumz]

You rear cattle, dont you? Doesnt seem quite right for children.

[eggandonion]

In Ireland, if someone has notions, we say 'It's far from --- he was reared'. Notions are a terrible thing altogether.
My parents died so long ago I can say the word. I announce their birthday to my dh each year, a bit like toasting absent friends at Christmas or New Year I suppose.
Ragamuffin, I know a doctor like that, thankfully he is a pathologist. That was a dreadful thing to say.

[ChandlerIsTheBestFriend]

You rear (or rare!) youngsters round here

[LoadOfOldTosh]

@Hingeandbracket

I'm so sorry that I must 'seem like an arse' to you when I refer to the child I lost as having passed away. Some compassion and acceptance of other people's feelings wouldn't go amiss

[eggandonion]

I can only imagine that 'losing a child' must feel exactly like that.

[TabbyMumz]

Eggandonion...what do you mean by "notions"? I thought notions were ideas?

[eggandonion]

'Notions' in Ireland (said with a sniff) would be when someone does something above their perceived background. For example 'Far from chorizo he was reared' is the sort of thing my manager might say about her nephew's pasta sauce. Notions would be Hyacinth Bouquet.

[TabbyMumz]

Ahhh, I can see where that's come from... it would be "ideas (notions) above her station"....

[eggandonion]

The sniff is all important though!

[billandbeninsanfrancisco]

Yes Hinge, that is really a bit harsh. I don’t think I’m an arse, I prefer ‘lost’ and I just think, well, empathy. No?

[willieversleep]

I attended the funeral of a friend and her young child on Sunday. They were involved in a RTC and the other child is critical in hospital. If I spoke of it with anyone I said they passed away and I found that hard enough. It was a traumatic event for all in my community and I felt saying they had died was just too much to say out loud.

[eggandonion]

If it's the accident I am thinking of, there are no words.

[Ponoka7]

willieversleep, was that the accident involving the tractor and quad bike? I've thought of that a lot since hearing about it, if it is. That poor family and everyone who knew them, including you, you have my deepest sympathy

[motherheroic]

Could never get myself worked up the way Hinge has over someone preferring to use a different term.

[LittleCandle]

My personal preference is died. I can't be arsed with euphemisms, and especially now when my patience with all sorts of precious shite is limited and my store of patience was never big to begin with. However, that being said, I will go along with what the bereaved person prefers. There's no point in being rude when they have enough to deal with.

[willieversleep]

@Ponoka7 yes that is the tragedy I'm referring to. Thank you