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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

319 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 16/05/2020 15:29

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

OP posts:
Alymcnabs · 16/05/2020 16:35

What do you want the Police to do?

Can he stay at his GF’s?

twinkle2306 · 16/05/2020 16:36

I'd be calling the mother and having a go.

Completely disrespectful

Jaxhog · 16/05/2020 16:36

When he gets home make him strip immediately and put all his clothes in a bin liner and hot wash them. He then goes straight into a long hot shower. Then he stays in his room for 7 days. Food and water left outside his door and no going out anywhere until after lockdown. The first bit is what my nephew in law does when he comes home from work (his daughter is vulnerable). The last bit isn't strictly necessary but will make the message very, very clear to him.

Police won't do anything, and idiots like GF parents won't change.

ABucketOfShells · 16/05/2020 16:37

He can stay at his girlfriends. Ask him what he’d like you to pack and you will leave it in a bag outside

pussycatinboots · 16/05/2020 16:38

Do you have a garden?
Do you own a tent?
I don't think he'll freeze to death in May.
Wink

Sodamncold · 16/05/2020 16:38

@Feedingthebirds1

* We'ven shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.*

TheCanterburyWhales · 16/05/2020 16:38

Do the posters saying that the other mother was a twat for hiding around the corner know something about the story that the OP hasn't said btw?
She said her son confessed he'd been picked up around the corner. Not that the other mother was in full combat gear lying on her belly behind a wall ready to smuggle him off.

The truth is probably
"I'll come on my bike"
"I'll get my Mum to pick you up"
"Ok"

He's probably not gone into the 2 metres half way there thing with his girlfriend for fear of looking daft in front of the girl.

Sodamncold · 16/05/2020 16:39

Oh I see apologies

Sodamncold · 16/05/2020 16:39

But if the OP knew this, then she knew the girlfriend would have been exposed very very openly given her living situation. So odd to allow her son to meet with him

SlimBig · 16/05/2020 16:40

If you have been shielding effectively then your son’s actions will be undoing all your hard work.
I’d say your choices are
a) ask that he stays there until the end of June
b) have him back and isolate him in his room for 2 weeks
c) have him back, do nothing and hope for the best.

Don’t blame your son though - at 16 kids are impulsive, reckless and hormonal. They’re supposed to be.

If I were you I’d be cross with the girlfriend’s mother for going against govt advice, especially when the actions directly affect a vulnerable member of your family.

okiedokieme · 16/05/2020 16:41

Calm down. Yes you are worried for your dd but it's been really hard and he's only doing what many young people are doing. My DD's boyfriend is staying at my house at the moment, it's very low risk and their mental health is much improved by it (plus as they are on the same university course they are able to work together on assignments)

twinkle2306 · 16/05/2020 16:41

@TheCanterburyWhales but she should know that other members of a household should not be in the same car or the same house?

No excuses at all

Annabk · 16/05/2020 16:41

In all seriousness the ‘tent in the garden’ option PPs suggested is a good one. Weather forecast is good where I am for the next 7 days.

TheCanterburyWhales · 16/05/2020 16:42

Sodamncold- I agree. My friends husband is shielded and their kids haven't left the house because of it.
It's unfair to ask others to do the right thing if you're effectively not OP!

jakeyboy1 · 16/05/2020 16:43

Yes tent!
Or live in the conservatory.
Make him learn.

Tistheseason17 · 16/05/2020 16:45

Other mum is a twat and so is your son by putting his sister at risk.

He's 16 not 6 so he's old enough to understand and the GF's mum has no excuse for her behaviour. Police, no - bollocking, yes.

Personally, I'd text him and tell him he can live there, now. His freedom is not more important than the health of his sister. Freedom issue is temporary - her life is way bigger than this temporary irritation.

Nattyjackie · 16/05/2020 16:45

I'd be telling the mum what I thought of her actions. She's suppose to be the adult FFS.

Do you have any relatives you could send your son to who are not vulnerable?

LadyEloise · 16/05/2020 16:47

I would phone the mother, very calmly tell her the circumstances you are living under with a vulnerable child during this pandemic and how disappointed you are with your son. Don't get angry. Just let her know.
If she's decent she'll know how upset you are.
What to do with your son ?
I'd get him home and make him isolate in his room.
Selfish. As someone said "...he's sixteen not six."

Macrometa · 16/05/2020 16:47

I would also tell him to stay there.

The mother doesn't like it? She should have thought about that and made sure you knew what she was planning to do. Idiots.

YukoandHiro · 16/05/2020 16:53

100 per cent agree with @Moondust001

Freddiefox · 16/05/2020 16:58

@ geekone

Probably would have been a good to read it fully rather than having a skim first 😬... apologies @Bluntness100

TheMagiciansMewTwo · 16/05/2020 17:00

The problem isn't his gf or her mother, but your DS. To be blunt, you can't expect another family to risk assess for your family or to share your risk assessment or to curb their behaviour. You also don't know what your DS told them.
The hard decision for you isn't calling the police to another house but deciding if you tell your DS to stay with them or tell him he has to isolate when he comes home.
He's a teen. He's going to assess risk differently from you. The government's half-arsed approach to lifting lockdown hasn't helped here.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 16/05/2020 17:02

Calling the police is out of order but I totally understand your reaction OP. Your son has to realise that this is a big deal and face the consequences of his actions so 7 day isolation is a minimum, I'd consider taking his phone off him too. As for the mother, I'd give her a piece of my mind. How dare she do something like that without consulting you. These kind of mothers just want to be popular with the kids and again don't think about the consequences. Goodness, they could have been snogging or even having sex all afternoon and she's probably cool with it. I feel for you, I really do.

boredboss · 16/05/2020 17:02

Do you have a tent? Tell him if he comes home he's in that I'm the furthest corner of the garden for 14 days.

WorraLiberty · 16/05/2020 17:03

I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house

Not that you've bothered coming back to your thread but should you decide to...

He wouldn't be the first teenager in the world to lie and say his parents say it's fine.

Are you sure the mother's a cunt or just gullible?

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