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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

319 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 16/05/2020 15:29

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 16/05/2020 15:52

Also, absolutely mystified at what the police are meant to ‘do’.

Freddiefox · 16/05/2020 15:54

@Bluntness100

More likely because it’s bullshit that 400 people are currently infected.. a quick google certainly suggest otherwise.

You often pop up on threads where people
are worried claiming numbers that you can’t or won’t substantiate as if they are fact. It’s no really fair on the op

DeRigueurMortis · 16/05/2020 15:54

It's not a police matter but I can understand why you are angry.

As a pp said he's 16 not 6 and thus of an age where he should be able to understand the risks to his sister.

When he comes home I'd send him straight to his room where he would be told to isolate for 7 days.

He's not to touch anything on the way there and all his meals will be brought to his room.

His GF mother is out of order but there is nothing you can do about that so no point wasting any energy on her.

JassyRadlett · 16/05/2020 15:54

It’s not 400, @Freddiefox, it’s around 1 in 400 from yesterday’s ONS release from the community testing study.

16yo was a twat, but girlfriend’s mother was reprehensible.

YukoandHiro · 16/05/2020 15:55

Do you have a room he can fully isolate in? Separate bathroom. Make him stay in his room alone for 2 weeks, delivering food to the door etc. Wear mask/gloves when you go in. He'll not forget his mistake for a long time....

Nicknacky · 16/05/2020 15:55

Bluntness didn’t say 400 people were infected 😂

YukoandHiro · 16/05/2020 15:56

And yes, definitely call GF's mother and say if it happens again he's staying for the duration.

justtb · 16/05/2020 15:57

That's called having a 16 year old. I would do anything to see my boyfriend when I was that age! I wouldn't even trust a teenager to keep 2 metres apart!

Biscuitbiscuits · 16/05/2020 15:57

Bluntness is correct, as of yesterday it was reported to be 1 in 400.

Fair enough to be annoyed with him OP, but of course you can't call the police. What crime would you report?

Msmcc1212 · 16/05/2020 15:57

Very irresponsible of girlfriends mother. Your son too but he has an ‘accelerator brain’ due to adolescence. The mother is behaving dreadfully though.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 16/05/2020 15:58

I’m looking forward to the day that people get lifted just for being an inconsiderate tit Grin

OwlBeThere · 16/05/2020 15:59

Did the gf’s mother know you weren’t allowing it? Cos - news flash- teenagers lie and bullshit to get their way. I’d be sure she was aware you didn’t know before calling her a cunt!

Lipz · 16/05/2020 16:00

That's awful. I'd be very annoyed with them all.

I've 5 kids, 4 who are teens and a younger dd who is severly disabled. Mine have not gone beyond the road outside our house since March as they know if dd catches anything she will die.

I can't believe your ds put his willy before the health of his sister!

If it were me, I couldn't take the chance having him back, unless I had extra space. So I would call the mother, tell her your situation and that you'll drop a bag of his things on the step to get him through the next few days.

This virus is not a joke I've lost 5 people to it. When someone young is depending on you to protect them, then as a parent you need to protect your dd and not take any chances.

borntohula · 16/05/2020 16:00

From his point of view, he's probably wondering how long he has to live like this for the sake of his sister who presumably will have these health issues for the duration of Covid's existence.

pinkyredrose · 16/05/2020 16:01

Tell him to stay, it's too dodgy to return home.

geekone · 16/05/2020 16:03

@Freddiefox Oh gee if you are going to berate someone read their post. @Bluntness100 said 1 in 400 i have made it bold and used numbers just in case you are confused for a second time.

@hypermansetajtracy actually definitely blunt and not at all rude rude would be saying FFS are you stupid and why do I have to look up google for you or are you not capable? Rather than just no, look it up yourself.

Lynda07 · 16/05/2020 16:03

The language you use in your last sentence wipes away any common sense in your post, op. Your're a woman and a mother, for goodness sake and what comes out of your mouth shows more about you than any thoughtless action by your son's girlfriend's mother.

The mother probably didn't realise she was doing anything terrible, I doubt your son told her, "My mum said....", etc.

For all you know, they could have sat well apart during the visit and as long as he changed clothes, washed hands etc, when he came home, I doubt he'll be passing on any infections to the rest of his household.

The very idea of calling police about this is ridiculous.

I do, however, think he should have just ridden his bike to meet his girlfriend for a short while and then come home. Tell him that is how it must be from now on but without any expletives please.

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/05/2020 16:03

Its not the greatest thing in the world but you are totaly over reacting.

AriadnesFilament · 16/05/2020 16:04

Did you receive a letter for your daughter telling her to shield?

If so, YANBU to be absolutely livid with him and them and you need to decide whether to tell him that he’s made his bed and now he has to lie in it and find himself some accommodation until this is over, or whether to tell him that he’s in full isolation in his room for 14 days upon his return in order to safeguard his sister’s life. Be that blunt about it. Because if you are shielding due to receiving a letter for your daughter then what he has done is literally risk his sister’s life.

ukgift2016 · 16/05/2020 16:04

Well when he comes back he will have to self isolate in his room for 7 days. Hopefully he will agree to do this.

crustycrab · 16/05/2020 16:10

Tell him he can stay there then

NeutrinoWrangler · 16/05/2020 16:10

Sixteen is old enough to understand that he was breaking the rules and putting his sister at risk. Hmm

I'd be seriously tempted to tell him he has to stay with his girlfriend, except that might just be rewarding bad behaviour... Sending him to stay with a relative would be better, except then you're punishing the relative as much as him and potentially putting them at risk.

If I let him back home, he'd be staying in his room, and he'd arrive to find his devices/electronics (or whatever else he particularly values and enjoys) removed (hidden somewhere) until I felt he'd suffered long enough and learnt his lesson.

YgritteSnow · 16/05/2020 16:10

I just don't believe that anyone who had a child with a heart condition and other health issues would accept their older child, encouraged by an adult who should know better, doing this, with the equanimity of some MNetters on here. OP I would be absolutely raging and tempted to tell him to stay where he is but then again I would want my child home during this time. So hard. Will he self isolate when he comes home if you tell him to? I would be so upset. So selfish. You are not wrong for feeling like you do despite the sanctimonious MNetters on here telling you otherwise.

WeAllHaveWings · 16/05/2020 16:12

No you don't call the police they won't be interested, it is your job as a parent to sort this out.

Assuming you don't want him living outside of your home for the coming weeks tell you son to walk home immediately and deal with him when he is back.

I would let him know how disappointed you are with him, tell him he needs to isolate for at least 7 days until it is clear no one he has come in contact with has the virus. This means staying in his room and using the bathroom last and thoroughly cleaning it each time.

madcatladyforever · 16/05/2020 16:12

Make him stay there now. I've been going in to a patient with covid-19. There are three other people in that household and they have ALL been going round to other people's homes during the day when the parent has covid-19. I reported the lot of them to the police as they've put the whole town in danger.

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