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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

319 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 16/05/2020 15:29

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

OP posts:
Musmerian · 16/05/2020 18:19

@Freddiefox - not 400 people but ONE in 400.

Andi2020 · 16/05/2020 18:20

Does no one in your house go out at all for essentials
I don't think it is any different going to a house than to a shop people are passing each other and you don't know if they have the virus
You can not keep him locked up indefinitely there is no way they where not going to xx and cuddle even they had met outdoors.

TiddlestheCat · 16/05/2020 18:21

Oh yes, stick him in a tent and make him pee in a bucket for two weeks!! Or at least a week! That is an excellent idea!! Tbh, I would have sort of expected him to cave and end up closer than two m to his girlfriend. However, getting into a car, going to her house etc is worse and more calculated! I would be furious at the mother!

stillathing · 16/05/2020 18:21

OP I totally understand why you're emotional. This whole situation is exhausting, especially if you have responsibility for the welfare of a vulnerable person as well.

Also as an aside - crying is a totally healthy thing to do! It doesn't hurt anybody, it can make us feel better and is better than burying one's feelings.

oliviacowell · 16/05/2020 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dollyparton3 · 16/05/2020 18:23

I agree the police are definitely not the ones to call on this one, they're the last people who should be involved here.

I'm very surprised though that the Gf mum went and picked him up in a car. As a parent of teens I'd say 1) not over the threshold of my house for a meeting thank you very much and 2) facilitating that with a car is just as bad. She needs to read up on the rules again as a matter of urgency

walker1891 · 16/05/2020 18:23

Tent in the back garden for the next two weeks I'd say no coming in the house at all, give him a camping toilet too.

caribooshriek · 16/05/2020 18:25

@Bluntness100 thanks for making me laugh!

Haffiana · 16/05/2020 18:26

I wonder how a proper adult would respond to their 16 year old.

user1471510720 · 16/05/2020 18:27

Well let’s be honest your daughter will catch the virus at some point regardless of your household lockdown.

The lockdown is effectively over so what is your son meant to do?

Noidea2114 · 16/05/2020 18:27

oliviacowell I have reported your post.

viewfromthecouch · 16/05/2020 18:33

I like the tent suggestion: put a tent out and a bucket, and tell him to set up camp in the far corner of your back garden, because he has no right to put your DD at risk like that.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 16/05/2020 18:33

user 147

That is rubbish. We have been told that not everyone will get it and at no point have vulnerable people been encouraged to adopt that attitude. You're reckless and terribly misinformed.

Megatron · 16/05/2020 18:35

These posters who are saying the OP is ridiculous for crying and being so angry clearly have no fucking idea how terrifying it is to have a child with a severe health condition, who could be at real risk from something like this. Probably won't be, but could be and that's enough.

1forAll74 · 16/05/2020 18:40

Crying and thinking about calling the police, is all so ridiculous. Do you really think they have time to deal with this, No they don't ! Just deal with this,in the best most sensible way you can.

DressingGownofDoom · 16/05/2020 18:40

He's 16, did you never do something stupid when you were 16?

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 16/05/2020 18:42

OP is being far from ridiculous. I would be furious if I were her. And her DS is old enough to understand that he is risking his sister's life.
I would tell your DS that he needs to take responsibility for this now. He cannot be near his sister. Give him a choice of completely self isolating in his room, a tent as others have said, if possible, or just not coming home, staying at his GFs house.
This is very serious and he needs to understand that there are consequences.

Bellringer · 16/05/2020 18:42

Hope they have condoms

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/05/2020 18:43

"I don't think it is any different going to a house than to a shop people are passing each other and you don't know if they have the virus"

It's VERY different.

Successful Infection = Exposure to Virus x Time

Passing other people takes a very short time, seconds. Being inside a house with multiple people for several hours, chatting to them face-to-face, passing things (food, drinks) hand-to-hand - a lot more exposure over a much longer period of time.

Lots of details here: www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them

CherryStoneTree · 16/05/2020 18:43

@popsydoodle4444 tour rage is completely allowed. Phone the girlfriends mum and explain that as you need to protect your daughter he cannot return home, to do so he needs to isolate for 14 days, she can find it as she agreed to it, you didn’t.

To those saying they are well the risk is low, fuck off. Do you know how this thing spreads amongst asymptomatic people to those who then die?

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 16/05/2020 18:44

He's 16, did you never do something stupid when you were 16?
I did plenty of stupid things. I was never reckless with someone else's life. 16 is old enough to understand the consequences.

Lynda07 · 16/05/2020 18:44

I've just heard that lockdown is virtually over, people are out and about in cars and on foot, mixing with others. Is it true? I was told by someone who has been stringently observing lockdown with no complaints at all but who goes to the supermarket and pharmacy. He was quite definite about it.

If it is true, surely the op's complaints are no longer relevant? She did make her opening post today, this afternoon, after all.

CherryStoneTree · 16/05/2020 18:45

@user1471510720 nope, the whole point of shielding at the moment is to stop people getting it until a vaccine is available. Good news that you and your family and friends are lucky enough To be healthy enough to not need to consider this for anyone.

MintyMabel · 16/05/2020 18:45

If you're shielding why let him meet his girlfriend? That's not essential and regardless of the relaxation, seems a stupid thing to do.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/05/2020 18:48

Lynda07, you've just heard? From where? Is it a reliable source? Or just hopeful gossip.

No, it is not virtually over. And if cases rise they'll clamp down again. These sort of stunts will bring that about.