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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

319 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 16/05/2020 15:29

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 17/05/2020 19:11

Maybe op hasn’t been back because she called his bluff and rightfully he has moved out.

He hadn’t been allowed out for weeks. There was no reason to lock him up. Had he been allowed his daily walk he wouldn’t have legged it.

Once all these locked up teens realise, they can call police 🤣 probably why shielding applied to the person and not the house

backseatcookers · 17/05/2020 19:12

@dreamthemoors

Literally just google the words "1 in 400 coronavirus" and you will see the exact study / estimate referenced... you can't have looked very hard.

clairefrasier · 17/05/2020 19:15

OP,
totally understand why you are so angry. I would be livid too, especially with your other child being vulnerable and having a heart condition. I'd be really upset with my DC and fuming with the other parent for colluding to pick him up. That's totally out of order !! You trusted him to do the right thing and he breached it and is potentially putting your other child at risk.
So sorry

Waffles80 · 17/05/2020 19:18

Well, OP? What did you decide to do?

canigooutyet · 17/05/2020 19:19

So every time there flu or chicken pox in the area, him and others in similar situations have to put their lives on hold, and stay at home?

No. Those can be far worse for those shielding.

I have compared them simply because the corona strain is packaged in the same way. Read the science behind it, it’s amazing.

glennamy · 17/05/2020 19:22

The police only solved 7.8% of crimes in England & Wales last year, why on earth would you call them?

You are the adult, if he needs punishing then you do it, it's no-one else's responsibility!

Be a bloody parent, you are not his friend!

Tubs11 · 17/05/2020 19:24

Your son should have known better as should his gf and her mom - either get him to stay there or have him self-isolate at home

DreamTheMoors · 17/05/2020 19:25

@backseatcookers

Actually, googled “percentage rates of COVID-19 in UK”

Choccylips · 17/05/2020 19:38

Maybe he told his girlfriends parents it was alright with you. Do you remember what it was like to be young and in love, sometimes its hard to remember anything else when you are and throw all caution to the wind. If he comes home let him self isolate but don't nag him to death over it. Lock down will be over soon. Where I live you would never believe there had been one and according to records its one of the lowest ratios.

ivygem · 17/05/2020 19:43

Whilst I agree this is shit and I would also be raging did you seriously expect a 16yr old to social distance with his girlfriend?

Cloglover · 17/05/2020 19:48

Awww, not sure the Op is coming back. Fwiw, I totally understand why she would be so upset. He has been incredibly selfish, and so has the gfs mother. Unfortunately it's these acts of selfishness that are actually costing lives. The lives of key workers, and the lives of the most vulnerable. If he brought covid back into the home and his sister died because if it that would be an awful burdon to live with. I imagine the OP is as angry at herself for allowing him to go.

NearlyGranny · 17/05/2020 19:49

GF's mum definitely knew it was unapproved - she waited for him out of sight round the corner, remember? If she believed it was legit she would have pulled up outside.

SunbathingDragon · 17/05/2020 19:51

Assuming he comes back, I’d give him a tent and tell him to isolate in the garden for a fortnight.

GoodyAdultHumanFemale · 17/05/2020 19:54

YANBU to be livid, but YWBU to involve the police.
Your silly son needs to come home and isolate for 14 days so he doesn't pose a risk to his sister.

luckylorca · 17/05/2020 20:11

Put a tent up in your garden and tell him that’s where he’s living for the next 3 months!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 17/05/2020 20:13

I would explain to your son again that he’s putting his sister's health at risk and if he was to do it again

Once is enough if someone in that house is infected.

Tell him he can stay with his girlfriend until this is over or he comes home, isolates for 2 weeks in his room and doesn't go back there until it's over.

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/05/2020 20:15

Of course the OP won't come come back, she's got all the answers she needs to favour her younger child.
Mental health is important too, and with a parent like the OP, I can imagine the son's isn't great.

canigooutyet · 17/05/2020 20:15

And if this is never over?

StarbucksSmarterSister · 17/05/2020 20:27

To those saying the GFs mother may not have known, why did she pick him up round the corner and not at home?

She knew.

Snowman123 · 17/05/2020 20:38

Yip girlfriends mums a cunt.

If it wasn't for your daughters health issues I'd kick his arse and tell him not to do it again.

But it's harder than that isn't it.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 17/05/2020 20:42

If you want a suicidal son to deal with on top of a shielding daughter making him stay in his room with no social contact for 14 days may be appropriate

Suicidal because he has to spend 2 weeks in his room? When most teens spend most of their time in their rooms anyway, unless made to come out and socialise? How ridiculously dramatic.

And if that were true, how suicidal would he be if he gave the virus to his already sick sister?

Chocolate50 · 17/05/2020 21:31

OP has completely disappeared is this because she made a mistake and her son has been in his bedroom all along & he's just winding her up?!!

Candyflosscookie · 17/05/2020 21:38

He's a teenage boy, it's way too abstract for him to fully understand the risks

How ridiculous and patronising. I have an early teen, he absolutely and easily grasps why he can't see vulnerable family members right now even though he misses them a lot. Infantilising teenagers doesn't help them. Their brains do go a bit daft but not quite back to toddler level of comprehension Hmm

mummymayhem18 · 17/05/2020 21:52

So annoying when people don't come back to update when you've all taken the time to reply to her post. I can understand why you would be fuming OP especially with your daughters health. He's very selfish.

Candyflosscookie · 17/05/2020 22:07

@DreamTheMoors not much cop at googling are you? The 1 in 400 study results was all over my newsfeed about 3/4 days ago. Hard to miss.