To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

[popsydoodle4444]

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

@NearlyGranny

And how long should he stay confined to home if he hadn’t gone out?

how long should he and others in similar situations have compassion for everyone else?

A month? 6 months? 18 months? Years?

OP hasn't been back since her first post. Why do posters still want to squabble about it?

I’m just interested in the thought process behind some comments.

Like assuming he lacks common sense. He could easily go home, avoid mum and sister, get in the bath/shower, clean clothes and self isolate for a week.

Instead some will go as far as cut him off until there is a vaccine. Which potentially is never.

Difficult to understand the thinking inside a young teens head which I do get as I've been there with all my sons.
Her mother was deceitful aiding and a betting. Calling her what you did on here is too much and I'm not a prude.
He was caught trying to do what you asked him to do and what his gf mother offered which would be too tempting to refuse.
Keep your head, don't start shouting and letting rip as it'll make no difference. Why aren't you focusing your anger at that woman and her stupidity instead of him right now???

Honestly, not sure the c-unit word was called, when sounds like your boy just wanted to get his dick wet.

I mean even with relaxed regs, households at high risk are meant to be locked down.
You let him out. Equally If i’m her mum I’d think it’s not a big deal if parents have agreed.

Totally agree with still stillcounting.as soon as I read that you had agreed to let him go to meet his girlfriend, I thought, that won't work. Even if he didn't go the gf's family home, they would never have just sat two metres apart. The family can keep him there or he comes home and is isolated from the test of the family for 14 days. We all have to learn our actions lead to some consequences, good or not so good.

It’s the individual who should be isolating not the entire household.
The individual who is shielding shouldn’t be meeting people. Going out. Ask other family members for help etc.
And same as everyone stay away from those with symptoms.

I would love to see where it says the entire household has to put their lives endlessly on hold. It has been a while since I read the guidelines, mainly because they haven’t changed. Before full lockdown happened I had to see how shielding would impact us.

Might be to do with that I consider the needs of all my children and the household. Realistically a home cannot solely revolve those with health needs. And realistically he could safely see his gf every 7-10 days.

Isn’t it 14 days if you have had contact with someone who has symptoms?

Crying and raging... Really. Wait till you get a real problem from your teenager. Dial it down and wow calling someone a cunt is horrible.

He stays there until you can find safe provision accomodation for him. Drop off a bag of clothes. He made a poor choice aided by an adult who should know better. They must accept his residency there as a consequence to their actions. 16 is old enough to be responsible for his actions.

Yes you are..,
AIBU to wonder why the post wasn’t titled

“AIBU to use the police to parent my son”

Make him stay their (girlfriends) or in a tent in your garden. Use your own power

You are definitely being unreasonable and in my view prepared to waste public service resources when they are already at breaking point
Grow a pair deal with it yourself

Also c bomb..... bet you would not say that to her directly hence you calling the police

Simple....he comes home then has to self isolate in his room for the 14 days ( or is it 10?)
That’s the government guidance if he’s potentially exposed with vulnerable person in the home...now you or I might call it grounded but he can hear it as a consequence of exposure that he is then forced to isolate. Might drive the lesson home then because he won’t see his girlfriend even from a distance for 2 weeks, or be able to eat, socialise etc with the rest of the family.

Right. He may be 16yrs old but he's still a child. He has been very irresponsible but still sounds like a decent kid as a rule. The punishments people are suggesting here are so ott. Make him live in the garden for a week, remove all his electronics, confine him to his room for 2 weeks, never let him outside the front door again until after lockdown....ffs. He is 15, made a big mistake and has already lost all vestiges of a normal life so lets punish him some more. I wouldn't isolate him, assuming he is very remorseful. He just stays away from his sister for a couple of weeks and is allowed in the garden or on accompanied exercise. If it happenend again then he would be self isolating for a week.
I am vulnerable.

Of course the harsh punishments will lead to him walking out, and then you'll have to throw him out.
Do you really want that for your 16yr old, does his sister want that?
Way to get your kids to hate you in very easy steps.

@Freddiefox

I couldn’t find the statistics that @Bluntness100 told you to google.
But when they were digging mass graves in London, I suspect that ratio would’ve been considerably more telling. In fact, I could not locate any ratio-type information on google.
People resort to rudeness when they spout off and don’t have anything to back it up.
It’s all they have in their limited “toolbox.”

Notice how many are ignoring the question about how long he should put his live on hold for.

Yet he’s the selfish one. He’s the child, his needs shouldn’t be neglected. He should have never been locked up to begin with.

Exactly, poor kid.
.

Hush now Bbq1 Don’t be coming into this thread with reasonable suggestions and common sense.

And I don’t believe for a second posters would have their kids live in a tent with buckets for two weeks. It’s all Internet bravado.

Bbq1

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/14/148000-in-england-infected-with-coronavirus-in-last-two-weeks

I think this is the 1 in 4 story being talked about

@DreamTheMoors did you search 1 in 400 coronavirus? I get loads when I search.
Someone misquoted the figure at some point.

Silly selfish boy, call gf mother tell her to bring your Son home NOW. Then tell him to self isolate in his room for 2 weeks. Remove any prized possession he has in his room so that he can see consequence of his actions. Gone are the days of the policeman bringing the kid home by the scruff of neck and a clip round the ear! So wouldn't bother police with it, but I would inform your Son that he only escaped the police by the skin of his teeth and if he steps out of line again before lockdown is complete the police will be brought in and if that involves gf family too then so be it.

Is everyone missing the point that lockdown/social distancing hasn't changed?

It doesn't matter what her DS said to his GF mother, she categorically should NOT have picked him up from anywhere so, yeah, she's in on it and has disrespected OP regardless of whether or not she knew about the boys sister.

OP you need to calm down. When he gets home you need to march him (at a distance) to his room where he stays for the next 14 days because that's the incubation period.

He gets all meals (basic ones) in his room and instruct him to clean the bathroom after each use. Lock his bike away and tell him he is now grounded indefinitely for breaking the rules and if he dares piss you off further you will take all electronics away. Make it clear that if he runs off to his GF again he needs to pack a bag to take with him as he won't be coming back until Covid is over.

Then calmly ring the mother and explain your punishment and tell her in no uncertain terms that as she has aided him, if he runs to hers you've instructed him to stay there and no, she won't be getting any money on upkeep. You reap what you sow.

I'd tell him to stay there...serve the gf mum right for facilitating it.