To call the police to my son's girlfriend's house?

[popsydoodle4444]

Currently sat in tears and absolutely raging.

My son turned 16 last Sunday.He has a girlfriend;they been together since last June.They haven't seen each other since March 15th.

As the lockdown rules about time outside has been relaxed slightly today I agreed he could ride his bike to a park halfway between ours and his girlfriends house to meet her the condition he observes social distancing.My stance was being able to see her from 2 meters away was being than seeing her via phone screen.

About an hour ago I noticed his bike was still here so I called him to which the little shit has admitted he's at his girlfriends house and her mum picked him up around the corner from our house.

I am angry beyond belief right now.We've been shielding as my 13 year daughter has health issues including a heart condition.

There are 6 people in his girlfriends house,2 are still out working and his girlfriends stepdad has still been having his kids over every other weekend.The risk in their household is quite high.

I'm fuming my son has broken lockdown and put his sisters health at risk undoing all our hard work since March and that his girlfriend and her mum have also aided him in breaking lockdown rules.I currently think his girlfriends mother is a cunt for coming to pick my son up knowing he shouldn't be in a car with her and her daughter let alone in her house 😡😡😡😡.

Pinkkgaga He is 16, old enough to understand that his dsis health is at risk from what he's done, ok I wouldn't put him in the garage, but it might give him a fright before confining him to his room for 14 days & grounding him.

@Nat6999 I wouldn’t treat a dog like that never mind my own child. Fucking awful suggestion. He didn’t ask to have a sibling with health issues. Unfortunately such is the case in these situations the sibling often gets out as fast as they can and lives their own life, free from the confines of their sibling and parents.

I would insist he comes home now, shower, change and then stay in his room for 48hours, using the bathroom at specific times (after DD so she has less exposure), cleaning it afterwards. No access to kitchen, meal drops outside door. This is what isolation after exposure should look like.

If DD and her mum (and anyone else he's had close contact with) is still well in 48hours, then relax the room isolation, if they were infectious it is most likely in the 48hrs prior to symptoms (I know they could be asymptomatic, but lesser risk).

Hopefully it will enforce to him that his behaviour has consequences, and that if he had been exposed (or does it again), he'd be self isolating in his room for 14 days, let alone the time it took him to recover if he did get sick.

"The mother probably didn't realise she was doing anything terrible". Sharing a car is a transmission risk.

I would ensure he stays in his room for a fortnight to minimise risk to DD. Does he understand that it could be fatal to her? Ask him and establish how much he understands. Social distancing also needs to be discussed

@popsydoodle4444

So what happened OP?

People who start threads like @popsydoodle4444 and disappear are annoying.

@NearlyGranny I wouldn’t blame him taking the stay at gf’s place. He can have more freedom. And chances of a vaccine are very slim, and if one can be made it will be at least 18 months.

And chances are his sister will want him living a “normal” live.

He cannot get locked down every time there is a virus or infection going around.

What I chose was before this was to educate mine about how to reduce risks to myself and one dc. And I was the only person who got it by isolating myself from them, when I used the bathroom/toilet quick wipe down, banned from the kitchen etc, and they stayed at a distance when they checked on me. Just like we did with chicken pox, flu, stomach bugs, impertigo etc.

And his sister might feel like shit because the way she might be seeing this is that its her fault. You know like the child blames themselves when parents seperate.

Not great for her mh to have that on her. She will have seen op hysterical because she’s ill. If she wasn’t ill op wouldn’t be like this and brother could do things. And those suggesting he now stay away, to her it could be seen that because of her illness she broke the family up.

Finding a balance for all children within the home is a better approach.

And what happens if your dd wants to go out during all this @popsydoodle4444? If no one has symptoms and she socially distances she can after all. Stay outdoors and a mask doesn’t have to be worn.

@Freddiefox Apologies if someone has already answered your question (and bigger apologies for using info from the Daily Mail ) but @Bluntness100 is correct. Roughly 0.27% of the population are estimated to have Covid19 at the moment. So, one in 400 people, on average. Different areas have different figures but this is a national average.

So, if you knew one in every 400 smarties/crisps/chocolate hobnobs (insert your snack of choice here) would kill you, would you be buying and eating them? We know the odds and we make our decisions, but we cannot impose them on others. Within a family, especially a family with a vulnerable member, there is trust. That trust was selfishly betrayed here and I'm not sure things can ever really be mended. No wonder OP is devastated.

Is DS home OP or is he staying at girlfriends?

So, if you knew one in every 400 smarties/crisps/chocolate hobnobs (insert your snack of choice here) would kill you, would you be buying and eating them?

I’d probably have a custard cream.

Isolate him for two weeks in his bedroom

So, if you knew one in every 400 smarties/crisps/chocolate hobnobs (insert your snack of choice here) would kill you, would you be buying and eating them?

The mortality rate is not 1 in 400 people for god sake

Where is the op

Did the son come home yet

OP posted in a fury, and has probably forgotten she did.

Came back to see what transpired and OP has long gone.
That'll teach me for being nosy

@nearlygranny

1 in 400 people are estimated to have coronavirus not to die from it.

Jellybean 100, of course it isn't - I never suggested that. If the prevalence in the community is one in 400, the risk of mixing outside the socially distanced family is calculable and it's exponential. OP's 16yo may only be mixing with half a dozen extra people, but they have obviously been mixing too, ignoring government guidance. He is bringing home a cocktail of who knows how many contacts from who knows how far afield? If he's 16, he's certainly studied statistics in maths lessons and should understand what he's risked.

Why do people think we've been in lockdown, for goodness' sake?

Oh well, I suppose as they're so keen on him, they've got themselves a new lodger, then, haven't they?

hope he bought some condoms on the way

The key word is was or were. Restrictions have been lifted.

Should he stay inside forever @NearlyGranny?
When he moves out never visit?

I’d probably have a custard cream.

You can't just have one custard cream though, can you? Once you eat one you have to eat the whole packet little square bastards are more addictive than drugs.

Cooee OP, are you there? 👀

Anyone with an ounce of sense knows he'll be out of there asap and won't be back.
Cant say I blame him either.

If this 16yo had had an ounce of sense - or even a scraping of compassion - he would never have put himself and his family in this impossible position in the first place.

Though I have to say that the mother of the other teen is even more culpable, because she colluded with the lad to deceive his family. As an adult and a mother herself, she clearly has far more life experience and ought to have shown more wisdom and concern than a couple of emotional teenagers could muster.