To not be happy with DSS living with us during university?

[Whatnowwww]

DSS is off to university 2021. He is here right now during lockdown, he usually lives with his mum 2 hours away. Over breakfast DH and DSS were talking about the UCAS form, and it transpires that DSS is apparently welcome to live with us during uni; we are in London. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the kid and he’s a good boy. But I am PG and I have a 4 year old, I don’t want to either police the actions of an 18 year old but nor do I want to co habit with an 18 year old. Our house is large but it’s my childhood home, not ‘ours’ i.e. not bought with DH’s and my money but my old DF. I know they both respect me but I just feel so possessive over my home whilst at the same so guilty.
The real reason is that when DSS is here, DH and DSS have so much to talk about that I always feel left out for days on end. I know this isn’t intended and they both love me, this just happens. I fall asleep at 8pm most nights whilst they pick some action film to watch. They have more in common with each other then me and DH have in common, I can handle this is small doses but l’m dreading 3 years of this.

“stepson will no doubt be unemployed”
Nobody said SS might be unemployed? The opposite about him working in London and not being able to afford the crazy rent prices to move out. Can’t imagine DH asking him to leave so creates more tension in the marriage.

I get OP point about it being her Mums house - DH didn’t get on with her when she was alive but happy to move his 18 year old son in because it’s convenient, without even thinking to mention it to his wife. It might be silly feeling like that but its totally understandable and OP is allowed to have feelings.

Regardless of the OPs post, does anyone else think the DH has fallen on his feet with her?
Not only has his disliked MIL died but she left her house to the OP so he's now in a London-based property mortgage free. Sorted!
If it wasn't for the DSS part, we'd all be calling him a cocklodger....
He should have discussed the part about DSS staying for uni with the OP & ground rules should be in place. Communication is the key here.

OP may I ask your financial arrangements? I take it you dont have a mortgage but does hubby pay the bills etc? That is one concern that I definitely think is a fair one. If stepson moves in, hubby must make up the financial difference on top of what he does already (if anything).

“Regardless of the OPs post, does anyone else think the DH has fallen on his feet with her?”

100%! He sounds like a twat, I would be tempted to kick him out, solves 2 problems then

Jesus! Do you two have no fucking shame? I hope OP abandoned this thread long ago. You’re like a pair of fishwives gossiping about your neighbours.

Oh come on that was clearly a joke about kicking him out! But he does sound like a cock for not communicating with his wife.

Jen isn’t wrong though. It would solve two problems if she kicked him out. I’d say the same to any stepmum who was struggling.

You’re like a pair of fishwives gossiping about your neighbours.

Tbf that's basically MN in a nutshell

I am still laughing at FISHWIVES

I'm still bemused as to why that was considered the one unacceptably rude comment on this thread.

Calling her husband a cocklodging twat is no less valid or more rude than calling OP, who is actually directly reading these comments, a jealous twat, which is basically what has been going on the whole time.