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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why my garden is more risky than a park bench?

166 replies

Iamnotusuallyconfused · 15/05/2020 20:49

I’m confused about the rules - I’ll admit that and I know it’s boring constantly hearing ‘can I do this’ But I’m confused.

So under the new rules, I can meet my mum in a park and sit on a park bench 2m from her - and probably loads of other strangers.

But I’ve been informed I cannot have her sit in my back garden or drive way 2m away?

AIBU to think my garden is not more risky than a park and do it anyway?

And her and my dad live together, why can I not see them together? If she has it, so does he? Is it breaking the rules if he sits in the car while I walk with her and then they switch? What is this madness?

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 15/05/2020 20:53

Have your parents come round and sit in your garden, don't worry about it.

ambereeree · 15/05/2020 20:53

I think it's in case people go inside houses.

Laigny · 15/05/2020 20:53

I agree, it makes zero sense. We can go to work with people too and kids can go back to school...but family is a no go?! i honestly cannot see a problem with it.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 15/05/2020 20:54

Your garden isn't more risky than a park bench. But it is on private property, which makes it harder to police. You are told to meet outdoors so that you can be caught if you meet too many people. There is zero logic to it, because obviously the people who break the rules will do so at home anyway.

Just ignore the rules about meeting one parent at a time. They are so completely meaningless that if you tried to follow them you'd be embarrassing yourself.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/05/2020 20:54

The mind boggles. People can't visit their families. However being on a bus tube full of possibly infected people is harmless apparently.

Ullupullu · 15/05/2020 20:54

Where will they/she go to the loo? Will you serve her a cup of tea? Both of those things would be a bad idea in case one of you is infectious.

attackedbycritters · 15/05/2020 20:55

If you see family as well as people you work with you increase your total human contacts

If everyone does that R goes up

In your garden is as fine as the park as long as they don't go in your house to get there, you don't share mugs etc

minipie · 15/05/2020 20:55

Because nobody can see you.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 15/05/2020 20:56

Serving someone a cup of tea and letting them use the loo isn't dangerous, unless the person in question is especially filthy or unable to control themselves.

Please try to use a small bit of sense.

PickAChew · 15/05/2020 20:56

The meeting one at a time is a bit daft, really. It would mean I can't take ds2 to see my mum because she would be meeting 2 people from our household!

geojojo · 15/05/2020 20:58

There has to be a blanket rule. A lot of people have small gardens, have to walk through houses, have balconies. If you were allowed to have people in gardens they would be included. I'm sure a lot of people are breaking it anyway but there does have to be a line.

EffOrf · 15/05/2020 20:58

I sure on one of the briefings one of the reasons was that not everyone has a garden and it would make it a bit complicated for us to understand Hmm whereas anyone can go to a public place, they do keep trotting out different reasons for it though.

NewCatMummy · 15/05/2020 21:01

It has to be one rule for everyone, they can’t say those of you with lovely big gardens and side access can have people over but those of you with tiny yards can’t. Some situations are much lower risk than others. It they can’t publish advice for every permutation.

helpfulperson · 15/05/2020 21:02

It's not necessarily that any activity is riskier than any other. It's about reducing the number of potential risk contacts. So every time two people are together there is a risk of transmission. Keeping two metres apart reduces that. So does reducing the length of time. But there is the potential for getting too close, or cross contamination. So the less things we are allowed to do, the less of these chances there are. When the government talk about following the science alot of that is behavioural science.

justonecottonpickingminute · 15/05/2020 21:03

Benches are FOMITES! Your garden has only had your/ your family's bateria/ viral droppings on it.

The rules are illogical bullshit.

EffOrf · 15/05/2020 21:03

Actually I was going to say maybe you could all go to the park and take turns hiding behind a tree and popping out one of a time to meet but you have suggested one of them sitting in the car and then swapping which would be similar

Lysianthus · 15/05/2020 21:03

The best thing I’ve read today is the girl who has decided, now she can, to put her flat on the market. Her parents are going to call the estate agent and book a viewing.

Original poster
Iamnotusuallyconfused · 15/05/2020 21:03

I understand not everyone is lucky enough to have their own outside space but surely stating that you can meet people outside as long as they do not enter your house then do it? That would surely be easier to understand than the current waffle?

Plus the one person thing is horrendously thought out. My sister is a single mum and hasn’t seen another adult since this started, I’ve offered to go for a walk with her but she’s terrified of getting fined because she’d have to bring my nephew so god knows how long she’s supposed to continue like this.

I 100% understand the need for lockdown but these easing of restrictions need to be thought out better surely.

OP posts:
justonecottonpickingminute · 15/05/2020 21:04

bacterial

Toddlerteaplease · 15/05/2020 21:04

I'm completely confused as to why I can't meet my parents at the same time, as they live in the same house. They won't t come and meet me any way at the minute. They are not in an at risk group or elderly. I'm a bit miffed to be honest, as I live on my own.

DollyDoneMore · 15/05/2020 21:07

Serving someone a cup of tea and letting them use the loo isn't dangerous, unless the person in question is especially filthy or unable to control themselves.

Please try to use a small bit of sense.

Which is more likely to spread the virus?

Sharing toilets and cups? Or not sharing toilets and cups?

Please try to use a small bit of sense.

SunshineOutdoors · 15/05/2020 21:08

If my dmil registers as a self employed childminder/nanny and I pay her, will she then be able to enter our house and also look after dc while we’re wfh? I’m not going to do it but I hate the way this aspect of seeing loved ones has been overlooked when it seems like it could work with a similar risk level as other allowed things.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 15/05/2020 21:10

^Which is more likely to spread the virus?

Sharing toilets and cups? Or not sharing toilets and cups?

Please try to use a small bit of sense.^

The risk is so incredibly tiny that if you're choosing not to see people you love in order to avoid it then, that's your choice of course but you're really wasting your time.

itsgettingweird · 15/05/2020 21:12

It's behavioural science. In a home setting you are likely to allow them to use the loo as your risk assessment is risk is lower when family.

You are likely to offer a drink, maybe get closer unintentionally.

In public you are and feel watched and so you are more likely to adhere, you won't pass drinks etc or just happen to nip inside their home.

I know that some situations (cleaners/carers etc) entering households is allowed. This is where the behavioural science meets medical science. If everyone "just" then chances transmission increases.

So everything happens slowly and as it does they monitor the effect of each thing on cases, estimated R, hospital admissions etc. This is a novel virus. They need to do these things to learn how it behaves.

Teateaandmoretea · 15/05/2020 21:13

But there is no need to have a cup of tea and unless you have physical issues there is no need to use the toilet for a quick trip round.

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