To wonder why my garden is more risky than a park bench?

[Iamnotusuallyconfused]

I’m confused about the rules - I’ll admit that and I know it’s boring constantly hearing ‘can I do this’ But I’m confused.

So under the new rules, I can meet my mum in a park and sit on a park bench 2m from her - and probably loads of other strangers.

But I’ve been informed I cannot have her sit in my back garden or drive way 2m away?

AIBU to think my garden is not more risky than a park and do it anyway?

And her and my dad live together, why can I not see them together? If she has it, so does he? Is it breaking the rules if he sits in the car while I walk with her and then they switch? What is this madness?

[Gooseygoosey12345]

I may get flamed for this but I've sat in my mums garden and had a chat. My friend came and sat in my garden for a chat. We've all been isolating, not working etc. and we were 2m apart. I think it's illogical and as long as you use common sense and aren't all over each other it's no different to sitting on a park bench, in fact it's probably safer

[Teateaandmoretea]

FWIW I’ll be visiting my dad while I’m out on my bike this weekend and having a chat in his garden.

[Teateaandmoretea]

It is about reducing the number of contacts on a population level

So many people don’t get it. It’s like the ‘my kids will go back to school when we ram 500 people in the HOC’ brigade.

You would be better off seeing your mum when you weren’t going to work as it was much lower risk you had it. But if you are sitting 2m away, not drinking tea or using the toilet then it’s very low risk anyway

[Pepperwand]

adellaranger

I’m seeing family in my garden. If I can go to work then I can see my parents. We’ve lived strictly by the rules previously but in this case I just don’t see the point or the sense

This is the EXACT problem. It is about reducing the number of contacts on a population level. People have to go to work to ensure we can fund little things like the NHS and housing. Seeing your mum is nice to do, not a need to do and we have to lift lockdown gradually starting with necessary activities. What exactly is it that people don't seem to be able to grasp?

[Bufferingkisses]

The thing is the legislation does not say no gardens. It doesn't matter what someone says on TV that is not legislation. It says outdoors. Yes it is under the heading "public space" if you look on the right document at about 33 pages down, however it is still worded outdoors. Should it get argued in court (which I highly doubt as the police seem to be exercising more common sense now, it wouldn't hold up for a second.

If there is a specific requirement then they have to be specific about it. The wording, if that were the case, would be "...meet others outdoors in a public space...".

[somenerve]

Or even couldn't care less.
I am my own grammar nazi.

[somenerve]

Please don't make a grand gesture of standing to the side for me on the pavement though it makes you look like a passive aggressive tit. Especially when I'm jogging up bank and then feel obliged to hurry up. I don't care if you move or not.

I’m not moving for you – I could care less about you – I’m doing it for me. Feel better now?

[mumwon]

the thing that makes this even less sense is that you employ someone to do gardening....

[adellaranger]

I’m seeing family in my garden. If I can go to work then I can see my parents. We’ve lived strictly by the rules previously but in this case I just don’t see the point or the sense

[Fluffybutter]

As a family we have been following the guidelines since they were given but Monday we will be going to sit in my dad and stepmum’s garden .
We will use common sense such as 2m apart , hand washing and hand gel.
Think it will do us all good ,mentally!
They only live a 5 min drive away so we won’t be travelling far

[StrawberrySquash]

I think the garden thing is because then you feel like you want to offer a cup of tea, loo visit etc. For a lot of people in a terrace a quick walk through the house to get to the garden won't feel like much. And if you are very careful then it's probably a v small risk. But it leads to you feeling less careful overall.

But yeah, it's really hard. If I bump into a neighbour in the park and then another person stops to talk to us do we break the law? Obviously we all stay 2+ meters apart.

[StrawberrySquash]

The logic makes sense at a population level. We need to reduce the overall number of contacts and saying two people at a time does this. As soon as you say more you end up on average with bigger groups from more households and more spread. Yes, you meeting your mum and dad together probably isn't more risky than meeting one, but if you can meet as a three then I decide I'll meet my friends who live separately, the three of us in a park, and all of a sudden it's logical for three households to meet. If that's okay then three bigger households can meet, etc, etc and you end up with big groups, kids mixing physically etc.

Even if your kids are in school, if you aren't seeing other people that is still less overall contact and less virus spread than if the kids were in school and you were seeing people too.

As a society we can only handle so many total contacts. We are 'allocating' those contacts where they are needed most, hence why my my friend's can see his carers, but not his daughters.

[BarbaraofSeville]

you can only have people visit you in your garden if you have a front garden, or access to the rear garden without going inside, a garden large enough to observe social distancing and in relation to the amount of people in the garden

And? Anyone who can extend their tiny mind outside a London-centric city mindset will realise that many people, maybe even most, can meet these conditions easily, including ground floor flats or those with large communal gardens.

My first house was a back to back terrace with only a small front yard and even that allowed two people to sit in the front yard more than two metres apart.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Fgs, the guidelines say outdoors. Last time I checked a garden is outdoors

I agree with you, but it doesn't change the fact that any time the government is pressed on this matter (eg when Louise Minchin asked Matt Hancock the question whether she can visit a friend/relative in their garden) he said gardens were not allowed and it had to be the park, and stuck to this despite repeated questioning 'because not everyone has gardens'.

He wouldn't even say that if you had a spacious garden that is accessible without entering the house you could meet there, he just said you had to meet at the park.

[GrapefruitGin]

There would have to be so many exceptions to the rule and it’d be very difficult to police for example, you can only have people visit you in your garden if you have a front garden, or access to the rear garden without going inside, a garden large enough to observe social distancing and in relation to the amount of people in the garden. It’s much easier to say it’s all or nothing, no in betweens.

[Thisdressneedspockets]

Fgs, the guidelines say outdoors. Last time I checked a garden is outdoors. All the pearl clutching is getting really annoying

I agree, however, the legislation gives very clear definitions of a public open space, so gardens are excluded.

Initially, we had a problem with people being given fines when they hadn't broken any laws, as many police forces were erroneously following guidelines and this only improved over 3 weeks in when this was pointed out.

Now we have a situation where by following the guidelines, we could be breaking the law. They've increased fines, so clearly intend to enforce something. How are we to know which version they are now following!

[RenegadeMrs]

Its a bit crazy isn't it? I don't think people are unreasonable to have a problem with inconsitent rules after 8 weeks of lock down when the messaging from the goverment has been so confused. People have already mentioned Michael Gove saying only an hour of excercise and Rabb saying that you can meet two people. If the goverment are not able to clearly express the rules they are obviously badly written.

The police have basically said they are not able to police these rules anyway, so I really don't think it matters if you have someone in your garden or see someone in the park.

[BillywilliamV]

Sat in friend's garden last night, teenage DS sat with her DS and chatted. Everyone two meters apart. Had glass of wine and cup of tea.
Came home to use loo, washed hands before and after.
Will do it again next week.

[Nottherealslimshady]

I thinks its stuff like, you'll get too comfortable and slack, they'll come inside for the toilet, if it rains you wont send them home etc.

We've really got to very careful, if people bend the slackened rules then we'll have a second peak and we cant afford it.

Its frustrating but it wong he for much longer if we all stick to the guidelines.

[ITonyah]

You don't need a mask if you are 2m away outside.

[DisgruntledGuineaPig]

It's not. But we have lovely sunshine at the moment. The rules have to allow for normal British summertime, that is - pissing it down.

If it was pissing it down in a park, you'd chat for a bit then go to your own homes. If it was pissing it down in your garden, you might just say "sod it, let's go sit inside, as long as we're either side of the kitchen table, that's fine."

The government has got lucky with the weather. It's easier to be stoical about standing outside Sainsburys in the sunshine than the rain. It's easier to agree to meet people 2m apart in the park in the sunshine. It's easier to agree that the only entertainment for your kids is a walk in park or a bike ride when it's gloriously sunny.

that's why when people are saying the rules will be still in place for Christmas, I do think how likely is it that everyone will continue to abide by them once the rain and cold starts?

[MotheringShites]

I think a lot of these rules are (as usual) very London/city centric. I live rurally and would have to find childcare and drive miles to meet a family member in a park. It’s ridiculous. Luckily I manage to retain a modicum of common sense and have adapted the “rules” to suit our situation.

[Livelovebehappy]

TBH, I’m just following my own rules with this. I visited my dm at the weekend. Sat in the back garden with her for an hour. Wore a mask. Sat 2 meters away and didn’t go inside the house. The benefit it brought her mentally was greater than any risk to her wellbeing, and I will be doing the same this weekend too.

[Aragog]

Luda - it doesn't have to be family. You can meet up with one person from another household at a time. Nowhere is that restricted to a family member.

I have met up with a friend in my garden (as above) last week briefly.
Dd has met up with a friend in the park and now her boyfriend twice, in the park.
Dh is playing golf this afternoon with a friend. MIL, who is temporarily staying with us for lock down, met a friend last week and a different one today.

Next week me and dd will meet my parents. On that occasion we will break the 1:1 rules I'm afraid, but it will be 2:2 and outdoor. It's my nana's funeral and they are doing a six hour round trip. I can't go to the funeral due to number restrictions so yes, we are going to see them for a walk and a long awaited catch up afterwards.

I've been really careful until last week and continue to be so most of the time, but on these occasions I am willing to use common sense.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Sitting in your garden could then lead to coming inside and watching a dvd or doing some cooking together

Of course it 'could' but it doesn't have to unless you're a complete idiot with no self control.