To wonder why my garden is more risky than a park bench?

[Iamnotusuallyconfused]

I’m confused about the rules - I’ll admit that and I know it’s boring constantly hearing ‘can I do this’ But I’m confused.

So under the new rules, I can meet my mum in a park and sit on a park bench 2m from her - and probably loads of other strangers.

But I’ve been informed I cannot have her sit in my back garden or drive way 2m away?

AIBU to think my garden is not more risky than a park and do it anyway?

And her and my dad live together, why can I not see them together? If she has it, so does he? Is it breaking the rules if he sits in the car while I walk with her and then they switch? What is this madness?

[Leflic]

an alarming number of people incorrectly peddled the myth that people in England could only be outdoors for an hour a day.

I don’t think it was alarming. It was a fair interpretation of the law that said Stay Home.People were concerned about following the main directive which was about not being out.

I think it was more alarming that many people used that the government hadn’t set a time (other than “once a day”) to go for four hour bike rides or walks.If everyone had done that there would have been no lockdown.It was busy enough outside with people doing the bare minimum.

I honestly don’t even know what the law says now. Hardly anyone wears masks here. People rely on shops to enforce social distancing and judging by friends and neighbours, much more mixing of households.

[maddiemookins16mum]

We sat in my SIL’s garden on Saturday. She had opened the side gate (so we never even went inside) and put mugs of tea ready on the table. She sat well over 2 metres from us. It’s about using common sense.

[JennyJazz]

Always better to turn the tap on slowly when you don't know what the water pressure is like.

[Bufferingkisses]

Fgs, the guidelines say outdoors. Last time I checked a garden is outdoors. All the pearl clutching is getting really annoying. The guidelines have always allowed meeting with 1 other person subject to social distancing. They specifically stated gatherings of more than 2 unless in the same household. Nothing has changed except now they're being a bit more explicit about it!

[Teateaandmoretea]

I think it was more alarming that many people used that the government hadn’t set a time (other than “once a day”) to go for four hour bike rides or walks.If everyone had done that there would have been no lockdown.It was busy enough outside with people doing the bare minimum.

The most alarming thing is how unhealthy some peoples lives have been. 4-hour walks and bike rides are rather self-selecting as most people would never ever do this anyway. If they had we'd be better placed to fight Covid looking at the evidence.

[Leflic]

Teateaandmoretea
Maybe. But the fact that four hour bike rides make you healthier isn’t the point. Lockdown was about wider society not coming into contact with the virus. Being fit and healthy isn’t going to change the fact that you could pass it on to someone.

[Oblomov20]

I just don't 'get it'. It makes me really angry. I find the rules stupid.


"Because nobody can see you."

That's right. It doesn't increase the RISK. The RISK is probably less.

But it's all to do with policing?
I can't accept that this is reasonable.

[Teateaandmoretea]

@Leflic only if you are actually in the proximity of someone. If you aren't you aren't going to pass on covid. So on balance you are better off exercising than not.

[Aragog]

We have ignore that rule on the one time a friend called round to drop some masks off for us.
They sat in the garden. It was accessed by the side gate and they didn't come inside at all. They sat at one side of the garden and I sat on a chair at the other side, much more than 2m away. They even had a hot drink with us.

MIL has visited her friend last week, and another today, and will do the same. It's actually safer for both - over 70 but no health issues - to sit at opposites of the garden than go to the local park. We are just using common sense for that one.

[Widowodiw]

Because she will go inside to the toilet, because she will touch mugs, cutlery etc. It’s not rocket science but if you want her to come round then make the decision and own it.

[Incrediblytired]

It’s not more risky, it’s probably less.

A park bench has been sat on by lots of people you don’t know and could have sneezed or coughed on.

A family member you can risk assessment. My mum is shielding and hasn’t been out at all. I’ve been working from home and only getting shopping delivered. I can walk to her house, take my own bottle of water and sit in her huge garden for a chat no problem. She leaves the side gate open and I am pleased to announce that my continence is sufficient to enable me not to need her toilet!

I can see though that if the rules were allowing garden visiting, there would be family get together, children visiting etc - and some of those people might be at work with kids in school which would increase the likelihood of infection.

[Clawdy]

So you put the cups and cutlery in the dishwasher or a bowl of soapy water. Nor everyone needs to use the toilet. People are getting obsessive. The "park, but not garden " thing is ridiculous.

[LudaMusser]

It's because the limitations of what you can do in a park for example are a lot less than on your own property

Sitting in your garden could then lead to coming inside and watching a dvd or doing some cooking together

In a public place it's meet up, chat and leave. That's the thinking anyway. We were in a local park yesterday and it's very clear looking round that it's not just family meeting up. There were two large groups of women with children near us who looked like friends and not family

[ITonyah]

I think it will turn out that public loos are a huge source of transmission so probably best not to have friends over and let them use the loo.

We have a huge garden and have had friends over a few times. In fact a couple are coming over tonight. I have absolutely no wish to catch or soread the virus so we will be sitting outside, glasses will come out of the dishwasher and go straight back in and hopefully it will be lovely.

[BarbaraofSeville]

It's ridiculous, they keep banging on about 'not everyone has a garden, or you might have to go through the house, the garden might be small, what if you need the toilet etc etc', well equally, not everyone can access the bloody park, but that doesn't seem to matter to them does it?

I've visited DM three times during lockdown, which I know breaks 'The Rules' but in each case, I sat in her front garden and chatted to her for half an hour, didn't go into the house, didn't use the toilet, didn't go closer than 2 m from her and didn't touch anything that she touched - I sat on a garden bench in the corner, which is more ornamental than anything, she doesn't use it.

I live 10 minutes drive from her and even with my dodgy bladder, I can go without the toilet for an hour. She lives alone, doesn't drive and doesn't have a park within walking distance, so I'm not going through the charade of meeting up with her to sit on a wall on the street somewhere near her house when she has a perfectly good front garden that we can both sit in safely.

[ITonyah]

We don't have a park near us either. If you are sensible about it a garden is fine.

I can see it might be difficult if you've had a couple of glasses of wine and your friend asks to see the colour you've painted the kitchen though...

[BarbaraofSeville]

Sitting in your garden could then lead to coming inside and watching a dvd or doing some cooking together

Of course it 'could' but it doesn't have to unless you're a complete idiot with no self control.

[Aragog]

Luda - it doesn't have to be family. You can meet up with one person from another household at a time. Nowhere is that restricted to a family member.

I have met up with a friend in my garden (as above) last week briefly.
Dd has met up with a friend in the park and now her boyfriend twice, in the park.
Dh is playing golf this afternoon with a friend. MIL, who is temporarily staying with us for lock down, met a friend last week and a different one today.

Next week me and dd will meet my parents. On that occasion we will break the 1:1 rules I'm afraid, but it will be 2:2 and outdoor. It's my nana's funeral and they are doing a six hour round trip. I can't go to the funeral due to number restrictions so yes, we are going to see them for a walk and a long awaited catch up afterwards.

I've been really careful until last week and continue to be so most of the time, but on these occasions I am willing to use common sense.

[Livelovebehappy]

TBH, I’m just following my own rules with this. I visited my dm at the weekend. Sat in the back garden with her for an hour. Wore a mask. Sat 2 meters away and didn’t go inside the house. The benefit it brought her mentally was greater than any risk to her wellbeing, and I will be doing the same this weekend too.

[MotheringShites]

I think a lot of these rules are (as usual) very London/city centric. I live rurally and would have to find childcare and drive miles to meet a family member in a park. It’s ridiculous. Luckily I manage to retain a modicum of common sense and have adapted the “rules” to suit our situation.

[DisgruntledGuineaPig]

It's not. But we have lovely sunshine at the moment. The rules have to allow for normal British summertime, that is - pissing it down.

If it was pissing it down in a park, you'd chat for a bit then go to your own homes. If it was pissing it down in your garden, you might just say "sod it, let's go sit inside, as long as we're either side of the kitchen table, that's fine."

The government has got lucky with the weather. It's easier to be stoical about standing outside Sainsburys in the sunshine than the rain. It's easier to agree to meet people 2m apart in the park in the sunshine. It's easier to agree that the only entertainment for your kids is a walk in park or a bike ride when it's gloriously sunny.

that's why when people are saying the rules will be still in place for Christmas, I do think how likely is it that everyone will continue to abide by them once the rain and cold starts?

[ITonyah]

You don't need a mask if you are 2m away outside.

[Nottherealslimshady]

I thinks its stuff like, you'll get too comfortable and slack, they'll come inside for the toilet, if it rains you wont send them home etc.

We've really got to very careful, if people bend the slackened rules then we'll have a second peak and we cant afford it.

Its frustrating but it wong he for much longer if we all stick to the guidelines.

[BillywilliamV]

Sat in friend's garden last night, teenage DS sat with her DS and chatted. Everyone two meters apart. Had glass of wine and cup of tea.
Came home to use loo, washed hands before and after.
Will do it again next week.

[RenegadeMrs]

Its a bit crazy isn't it? I don't think people are unreasonable to have a problem with inconsitent rules after 8 weeks of lock down when the messaging from the goverment has been so confused. People have already mentioned Michael Gove saying only an hour of excercise and Rabb saying that you can meet two people. If the goverment are not able to clearly express the rules they are obviously badly written.

The police have basically said they are not able to police these rules anyway, so I really don't think it matters if you have someone in your garden or see someone in the park.