Was I nasty/selfish to not help this man today?

[newyorkcity9]

Was on my way to work this afternoon (I’m a shift worker) and needed to stop by the office on the way to my call to pick some paperwork up. The parking outside the office is terrible so I normally just pull up on double yellows and run in quickly. I was no more than 5 minutes when I returned to my car to find another car parked in front of me and there were two men standing next to it with the bonnet up fiddling with things.

Just as I was about to get in and drive off, one of the men came up to me and asked if that was my car to which I said yes. He explained he had a flat battery and would I mind if he used my car to jumpstart it, I said no, sorry and explained I was in a rush to get to work (not strictly true but I didn’t want to be rude). The actual reason why I said no was because I felt slightly uneasy letting two random strangers mess around with my car. My car is my pride and joy and also a requirement that I need to do my job (without a car I can’t work).

I have no clue about these sorts of things, but if I did I may have felt slightly better about letting them use it as I could have observed. They could of pressed the wrong thing/broken something and I would be none the wiser.
After I said no, the man kept saying “oh but it’ll only take a minute”. I just reiterated about being late for work and apologised. As I got into my car, he walked away and I heard him mumble under his breath “bitch”, they were also giving me dirty looks when I drove away so I was kind of glad I didn’t help them tbh.

I’m just doubting myself now though. If it was you, would you have helped? I’m a carer so my job is to help people. I had a flat battery a few years ago but my brother helped me sort it, I would of never of thought to ask a random stranger on the street. AIBU?

No you never know in these situations if these men really needed help or were trying to get a defenceless woman to step out of her car. I'm overly cautious in these situations but these men can call a friend/breakdown recovery etc

Well he called you a bitch so fuck him!

I understand why you were apprehensive, and you have every right to say no.

Using your battery to jump their own is really straight forward and would’ve taken a minute tops, it would’ve been friendly and kind yes.

Ted Bundy used 'broken down car' as a scenario for kidnapping women. I'm not saying it was the case here but I don't think I'd have helped either.

I think calling you a bitch was horrible though so I wouldn’t feel bad about it at all.

Don't worry about it op. I would have felt uneasy helping out two random people as well.

I would have let them. Jump starting is very straightforward and you would have stayed in your car the whole time (with the door locked if you wanted).

He shouldn't have called you a bitch although if he mumbled it he probably didn't mean for you to hear him. Still out of order though.

This is why motor clubs exist. You were perfectly polite to refuse.

Also it's strange how the car wasn't there when you parked up but 5 mins later it was there and ' broken down'

Yabvu for parking on double yellows
Yabvu for claiming your car is your pride and joy but not having a clue how it works
Yanbu for helping if you didn’t want to but it would have taken no time and helped someone out

I'd have let them jump start their car from mine. I came back from a holiday (yeah, back in the day when we went on holiday) and my car, in the airport carpark, refused to start. It was 4am, I was exhausted, my children were exhausted, and a lovely man stopped, charged the battery, it took a few minutes, and we were able to get home. Otherwise it would have been a long wait for the AA. I've never forgotten his kindness.

Yanbu OP. You politely apologized. It's your car, your decision. Don't worry about it. They would have asked someone else.

You did the right thing in refusing to help two men, especially as there were probably few other people about. It could have been a ruse to rob or attack you.

Jump starting a car by using another car is really easy, so I’m would recommend that you learn as it is a basic skill you might need in future. I would have helped, but then again I do know how to do it and I wouldn’t have got out of the car or let them in. It would also depend on what area is like, too quite and remote and you need to be more careful.

In saying that, you had no moral obligation to help them and your safety is paramount. Never accept a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, just to be ‘nice/kind’.

The fact that he called you a bitch means he can fuck off and I hope his engine seizes.

I'm all for helping people out but in that situation I'd have done exactly the same as you, and used the same excuse. Don't feel bad about it.

I may have felt bad, until I heard them call me a bitch. Entitled arseholes.

@newyorkcity9 can’t believe some people have said YABU - you trusted your instincts and he was a horrible man as he called you a bitch!

I’d be patting myself on the back that I didn’t help to be honest! I would also feel uneasy even if they had been decent people x

YABU for being a motorist and not learning basics like jump starting a car.
YANBU for not helping if you didn't feel safe and as it turned out you were justified as they were rude and nasty.

I'd have let them. It'd have taken no time at all, and there'd be absolutely no risk to your car.

No excuse for him calling you a bitch though

The physical power dynamics between two males and one female mean that you were not being unreasonable to avoid becoming vulnerable (e.g. they could have easily disabled your car and then apologised and "offered you a lift"). By calling you a "bitch" the two men made it pretty clear that they were not the type of individuals you would have wanted to help …

I think you were right to trust your instincts!

YABU for parking on double yellows.

YANBU for telling them you didn't want to help them with the car.

Can't jump starting ruin your own battery?

You had every right to say no especially as a lone woman, if you ever feel uneasy then leave the situation as you did.

I'd be rather suspicious of how a car ended up with a flat battery after a mere five minutes.

Yes, I'd have helped by letting them jump start their car. Lucky you to have never had to jump start a vehicle before but I've had to rely on the kindness of strangers more than once.